Ismael

A short parable inspired by Melville and the Bible.

Ismael 

By

Carlos Lorenzo Estrada 

Hear me, child of man, 

as I tell this ancient tale

The Odyssey of seafarer 

whose name was Ismael 

I'm but a sailor cast reluctantly; 

'pon this sea of fate

Adrift in greige of nimbus; 

ocean ruled in caliphate

Asperous waves of journey's road 

into the myriad blue

Allured by all her magnificence

in multitudes of hue 

In echoes of echoes the wind calls out

to dark and briny sea

Words awashed in aqueous voice 

'Heard by God' who calls to me

Upon a golden ship I sailed 

with madman as a guide

For fortunes favor seeks great stature 

in anger and in pride 

Ahab's scowl obsessive heart 

for hunt of whale white

To cross the troubled darken seas 

for elusive beast in flight

Upon the nexus of heaven and hell 

in raging sea we fought

Cast down into the deepest depths 

we fell to beast onslaught 

In cunning words and raging mind 

he lead us to our doom

For God does not take kindly, 

'pon arrogant man consumed

I clung upon the vessel 

of my weak and troubled soul 

Searched for heart's redemption, 

to pay a sailor's toll

Cry not daughters of Abraham, 

nor weep of my demise

A spirit lost to lover's sea 

and unworthy of your cries

Lost to memory are the dead 

that ocean swept from sail 

For I'm but the remnants of a man; 

call me Ismael 

Author's Note

My muse Cate asked me if I ever read Melville's tale of the great white whale. I asked if cliff notes count? She called me a heathen, which I took as a compliment considering the source. She recited this piece but I have to admit my note taking is crap and she actually told it better than I wrote. I hope in my next life I come back either as a muse or a cat. hehe feel free to comment or leave thoughts. Thank you all.

Reviews

[shadrach hah]

Hi Carlos, My mind swam back to the days reading "Moby Dick." It seemed to take forever. I love the content of this poetic gem. The flow and the rhyme are outstanding. Your tale sings into the mind, your words painting such strong images. This is such a wonderful piece. Have a wonderful Monday....Mike.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you Mike I appreciate the kind words. I attempted reading this classic tale back in the early 80s when I was in high school. I could never get through this dense parable of a tale. Now at 56 I may give it another try but after I finish Homer's Iliad. Which I'm 5 years into reading unfortunately. But I will get there eventually haha. Thank you so much again Mike.

[shadrach hah]

You are welcome, Carlos. I always enjoy my reads of "The Iliad" and "The Odyssey."

[Dylan Macadham]

Captivating, Carlos! so vividly and beautifully written!!!
Having never gotten through Moby Dick, except, I confess, for the movie version, you have captured its nail-biting feeling and essence. Melville would be jealous! :)

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

I mean this with the utmost respect reading Moby Dick is like reading the Bible. It is a dense large read of a morality tale with lessons important to learn but very time consuming and tedious at times. Like you I have read the Melville novel in pieces but found it a bit much for my high school brain at the time. Perhaps now being much older I may be able to read it completely through. But with that being said I'm still trying to get through Homer's the Iliad from 5 yrs ago. Sometimes it's best to just write about life than read it. Thank you so much for your kind comment my friend.

[Shelley Warner]

I try to have a reading lesson with my grandson (12) each night who is working on decoding multi-syllable words. This was a treasure of words and there was a good rhythm. I explained to him too that your poem was about a story in which a crazy man hunts a whale. He liked it and so did I.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you so much for this kind comment it really touched me. I so appreciate it as well. Your grandson is so lucky to have you in his life teaching him the beauty of art in poetry and writing. That is such a precious gift to bestow to loved ones. And reflects the heart that loves. Thank you so much again Shelley.

[Shelley Warner]

Oh you're welcome and thank you for your kind words. In his IEP meeting, weeks ago, a teacher suggested that he come to a reading group before school to help him with his reading. He didn't want to get up earlier, plus sometimes he walks a girl to school. So I said that he had to read each night and then go over hard words with me.

[John the Baptist]

"And I alone was left to tell the tale." Arrogance and obsession are a bad mix. Throw in malignant narcissism and you've got a recipe for disaster.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Absolutely correct my friend as we have seen recently in society what narcissism and arrogance can do to people. It can lead us to our doom. Thank you so much for your comment John. I appreciate it my friend.

[Cherrie]

Excellent fast paced poetic tale.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you Cherrie for taking the time to read and comment. I really appreciate it. This was a fun little write. I may in the future look to revisit this work because I feel a re edit and maybe add a little more can bring improvement to it. Rarely am I ever really happy with most of the stuff I submit. I'm absolutely my worst critic but I do like the spirit in this poem. I almost feel a kinship with Ismael in life. Thank you so much for your comment.

[Betty Hermelee]

I must have read the book ions ago. However I love your story and how you presented it, interesting, bold and colorful, using powerful words....Ahab led them down to their demise, ocean's depth for what? to fight a beast? your descriptions of battling the briny sea are just so real; poor Ismael was just part of a man, but the memory remains.... Well done Carlos
Best, B

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you B for sharing your thoughts with me on this piece. It truly is a man thing, we can't seem to quit our aggressive nature. When we feel slighted our hubris takes front and center to the point it is obsessive to have vengeance. In almost all aspects we men find creativity in destruction, while women create out of love and creation. How different a story it would be if Ahab was female? I feel I would rather read that story instead. Thank you so much B for your thoughts and support. Both are truly valued.

[Betty Hermelee]

You are too kind, but I’ll accept it with pride coming from you!
Best
B.

[Vertigo Cat1111]

I love the way this was written! Far more gripping than many classic stories. I understand their classic for a reason and I agree, but sometimes reading something like this is far more liberating! There’s so much work and passion in your words, it’s clear your muse is one of the roots of your inspiration. Thank you so much for sharing this wonderfully written piece.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you Colacat for your kind words. I believe that the female aspect of my man brain, or Anima as Jung called it, is greatly credited for the art I put out. I feel if I was more influenced by my primal man nature I would be sitting in front of TV more often watch violent war movies and eating cheetos while drinking mountain dew. Not that I have anything against that hehe. I just feel personally there is nothing more life affirming than actually creating something beautiful that has value and worth to a society. Since I can't physically give birth, at least for now, I will attempt to make good art. Most of my work has also been greatly influenced by many powerfully strong women I have known, loved, and admired. Thank you so much again for these wonderful words of yours. They do mean a lot to me on my writing journey.

[Vertigo Cat1111]

It was absolutely my pleasure. (:

[Dave Brown]

I think you have done an excellent job of taking on a heavy subject
Personally I have no ill feelings toward any supposed nastiness by whales after the slaughters we have put them through
I am always impressed by the ability of anyone being able to write any sort of book.
Your poetics are also impressive and this is no exception

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you Dave for your comment on this poem. It truly saddens me that those beautiful animals are hunted and killed. As well as how we treat this world in general. It's a hubris that reflects our pernicious vanity believing we are the rulers of this planet and in essence Gods. When all we do is destroy. I write to leave messages in the reader's heart to illuminate and educate them to vitally important messages. Much like the humorous art you give us which does the same. Most of the time I'm inspired to write because there is something I want to get across to the next generation should they ever find these words. Thank you kindly again Dave for your thoughts on this piece.

[Dave Brown]

Margie did a somewhat similar piece on the Buffalo which I found quite moving and on the brighter side 21 new Humpbacks were born off the B,C. coast which is a record number

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I like this much better than how Melville wrote the book...one novel I despised. The story good, the presentation, unnecessarily dry.
Ahab had quite the ego...and Moby won.
j.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

I totally agree with you there J. Moby Dick may be a classic but it is pretty dense heavy read like the King James Bible. I would rather watch the classic movie with Gregory Peck than spend days reading the book. Thank you for your thoughts on this poem.