Tabby the Witch in the Wish, the devil, and Meryl Streep

Back by unpopular demand and because no one really asked for it is another misadventure of Tabby the teenage witch. Guest appearance by the devil Ibaelgore.

Tabby the Witch 

In

The Wish, the devil, and Meryl Streep 

By 

Carlos Lorenzo Estrada 

     The sabbath moon hung low in the dark sky. Her bright luminous face hiding between the broken billowy charcoal clouds that slowly swept before her presence. The young girl chanted within the ominous circled sigil carved into the moist earth of the forest floor.  Gnarled ancient large oaks danced melodically around her as no breeze could be felt or heard. She recited from an eldritch tome the rite of calling. Her voice wavering between moaning ecstacy and reviled evil growls. The 12 candles lit outside the circles circumference began to glow brightly with each syllable spoken. The devil drew nearer she could sense.

     "Rasha Vulga Kanada...insidious devil heed my call." The young witch's head flung back looking upwards into the night sky, as eyes lost all color leaving behind only an evil white tinge. "Rasha Vulga Kanada...I summon thee foul Ibaelgore, hear my cry!"

     A high pitch ringing filled the air and the candle lights became torches spouting flame four feet into the sky. The air began to shift and move of its own accord. Unnatural to the very nature it occupied. Its very fabric being torn, warped, and ripped by an unseen force foreign to this world. And the screeching bled vile into the realm of man.

     "Who summons, thee, wretched child of flesh?" The voice was commanding in strength and inhuman in sound.  It teased yet graveled in anger and entitlement. "Who hath dared spoke my name in all its glory upon the foulness of unscrupulous lips that..."

     "Omg, you're so freakin annoying!" The young witch spoke as her sapphire blues returned to their natural eye color. "Cheezus, Shakespeare, it was me!"

     "Doth thou tease me with insolence, child? I am the devil Ibaelgore! This Shakespeare you seek resides upon the 4th circle of hell as a guest of..."

     "Omg, just stop already! Who fricken cares about him. I called you so that I could, like, get three wishes!"

     "Three wishes? Dost the great Ibaelgore look like some common genie? Shame on thee, insolent cur! I am equal in stature to Asmodeus and Baelzubub..."

     "Wtf, are you for realz? I don't get three freakin wishes? Dat's bunk, homiez." 

     "I am not a genie..."

     "Omg I know. You like already said that a billion times. How can I get my hands on one of them genies because obviously you're like totes useless to me, brah."

     "Vile child, I am much greater than a genie...!"

     "See, now we're talking, home slice, what a b***h gotta do to get sum wishes up in this place?"

     "You truly are the strangest mortal I have ever encountered in this realm."

     "I know right? Now where's my wishes, bro?"

     "Not so fast, young child, there are certain requirements we must first establish."

     "Whatcho talkin bout, Willis?"

     "A contract and blood pack to seal the deal. For as you see...nothing is for free."

     "K, I got dis, where I gotta sign, brah?"

     "Hmmm...let me see. Verily well, here is a binding contract for you. Sign your soul...I mean name on the dotted line and all that you wish for shall come to pass."

     "Aight...but I need to read it first. Know what I'm sayin. I'm like not some dumb ho from the valley. I'm legit. Let me check it out." She pulled the worn parchment from the devil's hand and began to peruse the fine print nodding and grumbling for certain affect. "Omg are you for realz, bro, gimme some space jeez!"

     "Verily well, child." Ibaelgore turned his back allowing the young girl to view the contract with some privacy, and relishing the fact he would soon be in possession of another soul within his grasp.  The moment he turned his back the young witch reached into a small hidden pocket within her cloak and proceeded to pull out a used tampon. She pressed the bloody end against the parchment scribbling a name. Then sneakily sliding the foul used item back into its hiding place.

     "Mkay, bro, all signed!"

     "Excellent my dear..." the devil snatched the signed parchment from her grasp and looked down at the bloody red signature and said, "Meryl Streep."

     "Yuppers...that's me" the young witch replied. 

     "Hmmm, that's odd. This name looks very familiar to me."

     "Oh..." Without any hesitation the girl replied, "...that's because it's my mom's name too. She's Meryl Streep Sr. and I'm Meryl Streep jr."

     "Verily well I accept our boon as signed in your blood, young Meryl Streep jr."

     "Kool beans, bro. So when I get my wishes?"

     "Very soon, child, by the way you look very familiar to me. Have we met before or struck a deal previously?"

     "Ah nah, brah, I guess I just gotz one of them kind of faces."

     "Perhaps, but you look like one that claimed to be a Mila Kunis before."

     "Damn homies I hope you didn't fall for some cat fishing shitz. That would look awfully bad for a devil to be tricked and pimped like that. Thanks for the wish, I'll be seeing ya laterz, brah." And with that Tabby turned and walked away as she cackled into the night.

The moral of the story...a witch is gonna witch, amiright?

   

Author's Note

A fun little tale about my fave al time witch Tabby. The girl you love to hate, but she has a black heart of gold.

Reviews

[Gabie Carne]

This piece definitely made me laugh and the scary setting you crafted at the beginning was so artful. The dialogue added great personality to the young girl and the devil character was portrayed consistently in their responses. I really enjoyed it!

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you Gabie for the kinds words. I really appreciate it. I love the challenge of writing something that is stylistically different from most of my work. Especially humor because in IRL my joke telling is the worst. I always end up messing the joke up. I always try to encourage writers to write something totally different than what you are used to. Use it to challenge yourself because you may end up with a surprising result. Plus it totally helps you improve and grow as a writer. Thank you again for your comment I truly appreciate it.

[Yellow Butterfly]

OMG….this was genius…

You set the scene so well at the beginning sending shivers down my spines bro (a little nod to Tabby)
But I have to admit you had me in stitches…as Tabby from the hood’s character came alive literally on the pages and did a merry dance with the devil for sure.

I loved this so much I read it again…I wasn’t smiling as I read the first paragraph..a tad serious as your words reeled me in. What a clever twist to your characters Carlos….worthy of more chapters for sure.

Told you I adore your work..

YB

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

I love Tabby too. She's like a mix of the Kardashians, Mean Girls, and Clueless. All in teenage witchy form. And so is so funny AF. I admit it's a bit South Park and Family Guy gutter humor but that's what I so love about writing. Anything is possible in your imagination. One can write serious poetry one day and the next crude camp humor. It's fun taking chances and not giving a "omg I so won't go there" phunk what anyone thinks. That why I always encourage people to write what makes them happy and don't sweat the petty s**t. If people like it that's an added plus if not that's ok too. As long as you are true to you that's all that matters. Serious poetry and stories are nice but nothing beats laughing your a*s off at something so idiotic it makes you want more. No matter how dumb it is. If you feel inspired and have a Tabby tale you would like to write please do. I encourage anyone to make up a story with her or her witchy friends in it. I mean fer realz she's like a freakin totes hawt teenage witch from the valley omg. The Kylie Jenner of witches without the plastic surgeries. Tabby totally deserves more stories it's just I really hurt my brain writing this tale. It had me talking like a 14 yr old for days. I think a younger more hip person would do her justice. Thank you for your delightful comment on this satirical piece. It made me happy knowing someone got this as the jokey humor it's meant to be despite some cringey moments in it.

[Yellow Butterfly]

Once again you are most welcome Carlos. You have definitely got a writing side to you that is clever witty and fun and know when to not take your writing so serious. I picked up on your humour as soon as you introduced Shakespeare…even now writ g this I am giggling. Yes, writing is all about expression and immersing one’s self in a realm where as you say…anything can be imagined. I am still learning my craft and every day I discover new and amazing ways to add to my writing. Just like you i find it difficult to go back to being m ‘younger teenage self’ to be able to write and capture the youth ‘of today’…but you nailed it! I would love to write about somebody like Tabby but I doubt I could do her justice. Unlike you…you have at least another story to tell and share. :)

Your tasked brain was worth the pain because you’ve written a piece of work that was insane…:) :)

Thanks for making my Halloween a very ‘Happy’ one.

YB