Eyes of a Porcelain Doll

Society judges what's on the outside and has a precieved notion of what beauty is. In an attempt to conform to its expectations what do we lose of ourselves in the process?

Eyes of a Porcelain Doll 

By 

Carlos Lorenzo Estrada 

“Beauty is not who you are on the outside, it is the wisdom and time you gave away to save another struggling soul like you.”

― Shannon L. Alder

When does fantasy 

Define reality

When perfect symmetry 

Equates anatomy 

We have heard all the aphorisms that beauty has inspired 

From long dead poets and well known liars.

Gone is the allurement of imperfections born

Reviled and maligned by society in scorn

Ugliness is a choice a refrain they often use

It plays into the mind and the body we abuse

Do not allow contentment to reside in the eyes of those

Who'd criticize and belittle the things they do not know

For flesh is simply flesh; a prisoner to exploitation 

Endemic to conformity in vanity's desperation 

For sublime and utter perfection what is mortal cost

To attain the body of a doll but in your soul be lost.

Author's Note

My muse waxed poetically about societal views of Beauty and the absurd lengths it drives a woman to seek and attain it. All this while being waxed and primped and having having my nails done. My muse Cate doesn't need that she is perfect the way she is. But I on the other hand have to look good for her. Yes, I'm a hypocrite but she inspires me in both the bad and the good. Best advice I ever heard? Don't allow others to define your happiness because you will waste your life trying to live up to everyone's expectations. Be beautiful in the you that you are.

Reviews

[Samuel Dickens]

Wise words, my friend, though the vain will likely not hear them. Of course we're all attracted to outward beauty, but, oh, how we're often deceived.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

It is a bane upon our society that we hold such high impossible standards for the expectations of beauty and youth. Goals that are unattainable to our youth and which lead to dangerous results. To man young females are committing suicide because they can't meet those expectations. We need to be better than this. Thank you Samuel for sharing your thoughts on this piece. I really appreciate and respect your perspective.

[Stella Armour]

Carlos, i am getting on in years now but i am and always have been Me .

Why hide your beauty , inner or otherwise when there is beauty in imperfection.

If we all fitted the modern idea of "Perfect" we would all be unintertesting clones ..

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Hi Stella thank you for sharing your thoughts on this poem. I was inspired to write this poem because of a picture I saw of a young woman in her 20s that went through major plastic surgery to look like a barbie doll. I was horrified to see someone go through that length to try and be beautiful in the way society views beauty. Her eyes looked empty like a doll. I was appalled by how social media and society in general have these unattainable standards for women and beauty. A friend of mine in her early 60's recently revealed she was going through depression because she is fighting the urge to have medical surgery to look better. She was in tears telling me how every time she sees tv or looks on the internet she sees women with perfect bodies. What have we become when we don't even allow a woman to grow old gracefully. And young girls are committing suicide because they are bullied because of how they look. We need to change as a society and stop forcing women into this unreachable standards of perfection and beauty.

[Stella Armour]

it is so sad Carlos that some women have such low self esteem. You have to learn to love yourself as you are because each person is a little miracle in their own right. Maybe i think like this because i am 76 years old , but i have always been happy in my own body regardless of any man trying to put me down hahaha

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

It is sad because it's a double standard. You don't hear anyone asking us mento get liposuction or plastic surgery in our middle age and older. I'm 56 yrs old and no one bugs me at all about any of that stuff. You are absolutely right Stella a person needs to learn to love themselves and not let what society may think effect their mindset.

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree my friend.
"For flesh is simply flesh; a prisoner to exploitation
Endemic to conformity in vanity's desperation"
You made many strong points in the poetry Carlos. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you CP, writing this poem was an indictment upon our vanity filled society and the pernicious rhetoric of social media towards females. Filling the minds of young girls with unattainable standards of beauty and perfection which I find absolutely abhorrent. To many children are taking their lives because they are bullied on line for their looks or weight. It is wrong and I feel as a society we must fix this problem immediately. Thank you again my friend.

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree Carlos and you are welcome.

[Cherrie Palmer]

Love it. It's a simple truth I wish we all could learn.

Cinderella with eyes so bright. I thought you a. beauty until you spake, and now my dear you reek of hate.

[Cherrie Palmer]

We should rework Cinderella as the heavy.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Sad but true unfortunately we need to drastically change the mentality of our society because of the damage we are causing women and young girls with these unrealistic views of beauty and perfection. No one should ever have to feel the need plastic surgery in order to look beautiful. Social media has made things worse by allowing foul trollish behavior from people to bully others because of the way they look or weigh. Men aren't held to those ridiculous standards and yet women are practically forced to. It's wrong and we are better than this. We have to be. Thank you for your thoughts on this poem.

[JE Falcon]

This poem told me how to read it, and that is how it should be.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you JE for your thoughts on this poem I truly appreciate it. I felt very strongly about the message of this poem and was happy I was able to get the point across. Thank you again for commenting on this piece.

[zeronineight]

I love the flow of this piece! But more importantly, this is truly an interesting read. It stirs in me questions of beauty and societal standards -- how I believe women of today can choose to look pretty for themselves and that there is power in finding this beauty and being the one who molded it, but where did we get what defines pretty? How do we satisfy ourselves that /this/ is what we call pretty? Who decided the fantasy? the perfect symmetry?

What do we trade in exchange?

I find it interesting. Have you seen Melanie Martinez's Mrs. Potato Head? I think you'll quite like it.

Thank you for sharing this!

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you kindly for your thoughts on this poem. Its creation was inspired by a couple of things. One was a picture of a young woman who had multiple plastic surgeries to look like a barbie doll. Her eyes looked so lifeless. Another was reading how social media is effecting young girls today. Our society has always placed unrealistic standards of beauty and perfection on women. Social media has exacerbated things to their worst. These large conglomerates making vast wealth selling products they claim can achieve a natural beauty for women in their commercials. Being hocked by spokespersons who have undergone multiple plastic surgeries to look the way they do. It is all such a pernicious lie. Yet people feign surprise over the rate of teenage suicide these past few years, especially upon young girls. This behavior as a society is unsustainable and dangerous for our youth and women in general. I recently had a female friend in her late 50's who was in tears because she didn't feel beautiful and was looking to get surgery to fix that. Because she felt that pressure to look attractive like a teenager from all the media she was consuming. Despite knowing that all of what she sees is fake. This won't change until we do. We must be better. You can't cut your way to perfection. One will never find true happiness under the knife or false belief of beauty as per defined by society. We should be ashamed by what we are doing and demanding of women. I apologize for the rant but this is a very unsettling conversation to try and have because I'm a man and none of those things are asked or demanded of me. Just on a humanitarian level alone I am appalled by what women must endure in these awful times by a segment of our society.

[zeronineight]

You don't have to apologize for the rant! I quite appreciate it. I agree with all of your points. This is an important conversation to have and I think it's great that you're so open in talking about it.

As a society we do put a lot of pressure and unhealthy standards to our women -- no matter the age. It's heartbreaking. What your friend in her 50s feel is very heartbreaking and sadly a sentiment my own mother always brings up.

There's a lot of "if only" and "i wish i was" in our conversations about body image and that's also an unhealthy thing for a female child to grow up in. And indeed, social media and marketing just exacerbates these thoughts.

Doesn't it make you wonder what we can do to make this stop? And, I hope I don't sound too much like a doomer when I say this, if we ever can?

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

It is absolutely shameful and reprehensible to force these unrealistic demands on women. It calls into question whether we truly believe in equality between the genders. Are women truly equal or just objects to leer at. I couldn't imagine trying to raise a young girl in this day an age. Having them consume all these lies about beauty and perfection. Telling them they have to weigh a certain amount and must look a certain way all the time in order to please a man not themselves. Because it's not about what a woman wants. It's what this vanity obsessed society demands. Social media has become a bane to our society and made us even worse human beings. I feel it starts there. By putting a stop to the hate being spewed on social media. It is effecting the minds of our youth in such a pernicious way. And adults my age in their 50s need to stop acting like misogynistic a******s. Learn to respect people regardless of gender. Don't be that guy. The one who opens up their filthy mouth spouting hate. The terminator and Rambo aren't the perfect idea of what defines manhood. That just needs to stop. We got a lot of things we need to fix not just to be better people but a better society. For everyone, but it really starts with how we raise our children especially boys. At least that's where I believe we are truly falling short on.

[Betty Hermelee]

Don’t live up to others standards or you’ll be miserable all of your life; it’s a fake realism; and so many people get caught up in this…your muse is very smart. She taught you that what’s inside a person’s core is what matters. Don’t judge a book by its cover….vanity will get you nowhere….
Nice write
Best,
B.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you Betty for this nice comment. Our society has placed such insurmountable and unattainable ideas of what female beauty and perfection should be. Since the advent of social media these pernicious ideologies have gotten worse. Young female teenagers as well as mature women have been harassed and vilified for their looks or weight and this needs to stop. Men are not held to such insane unreachable standards and yet we bully women with these ridiculous beliefs on beauty. And young girls are damaging themselves physically because of the antagonistic behavior toward them by their peers on line. And don't get me started on the commercials, movies, and TV programming that promote this disgusting behavior as well. It is unimaginable that a young teen girl would feel the intense pressure that she would seek out plastic surgery to look the way she feels is demanded of her. To the point that she would look like a barbie doll with empty eyes. It truly is heartbreaking and speaks ill of our misogynistic society. Thank you again for your thoughts on this poem.

[Betty Hermelee]

You’re very welcome!

[Lorry]

The saying "beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes right to the bone" is rather apt for this one Carlos, meaning that vanity is true ugliness.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you Lorry for the kind comment on this poem I truly appreciate it.

[Vertigo Cat1111]

Everything in this piece and what you say is so true, but the worst part about it all is as much as we tell others, sometimes they'll only understand once they themselves see beauty. This write is so thoughtful in itself and each word you use clearly and perfectly describes the feeling. Thank you so much for sharing!

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you Colacat for your kind words. I abhor what women have to endure in this vanity obsessed society. To have to be constantly judged by unattainable ideas of beauty and perfection. And to hear about teenagers struggling with these pernicious ideas at a young age and being totally damaged by it to me is wrong. To feel they have to get plastic surgery at a young age because they feel they are ugly is just unfathomable. I can't even begin to imagine the body dysmorphia struggles women endure because of our hedonistic vanity seeking society. We are better than this and we need to be. Thank you again for your thoughts.

[Pete]

beauty is in the eye of the beholder, skin deep and fades. what is on the inside too often goes unnoticed and unappreciated especially in our a superficial society. the heart sees what the eyes cannot. good thoughtful write ... :)

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you Pete for your very insightful comment. I always try to stress exactly that idea to many I know who struggle with societal views of perfection that seem to infect their minds. The flesh is prisoner to time, while the heart is not. There is a brevity to beauty, but love is eternal. These days are in need of less social media and more art. We would be a much more empathetic and enlightened societal if that were the case. Thank you again my friend.