Be...

Art is at its most powerful when it asks us to think not just of ourselves individually, but as a species our place in the world and the society we are a part of.

Be

By

Carlos Lorenzo Estrada 

"You'll never be, who you're meant to be, until you just learn to be."

But who am I in this colored guise; devoid of cultural significance 

I am a product of generations past, 

a child divided in culture clash.

What has America cost me? 

What has she taken of me...

in integration?

I'm a second son of a third generation;

that has come undone.

And as lost as my native tongue 

In ghosts of heritage 

Lost of song

And of courage 

Assimilation was encouraged as a noble token

Disregard roots of heritage and language spoken

But my name is foreign; still stays the same 

Stripped of what defines me and I'm left with shame

But I see it in their eyes nothing I can say or do

Will ever change their mind on how my skin is viewed

And despite the fact I carry a heart just like theirs 

It doesn't really matter for they never seem to care

I am the wet-****

The spi*

The field ni****

But I'm also

The co**

The Chi***

The Red n***

The Ki**

The bit**

The f**

The les**

I am in all of these hateful words

For that is what your eyes tell me

While my heart says

That I am brave

For in the end

It is what

I

Choose

To

Be

True

To

Me

Author's Note

I had a dream...that within me were words ready to be expressed with profound wisdom and humanity that they would change the world. But when the time came to speak them I failed to even utter one single word. Remember this when you find your own heart seeking to express its truth and you fail to rise to that moment. Be true to your heart and the art that resides in you.

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

dreams get deferred then die...prejudice is the worst sickness....
and too many are infected with it...

we are all people....none better than the other.

significant write here, Carlos.

j.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you J. for your thoughts on this piece. I find myself currently at a point in my life where I have become more introspective on the defining qualities that encompass who I am. I am both of indigenous and European blood. A clash of two cultures that exist within me during this poignant point in history where ethnicity is a cause of great divide. Lost are the parts of me before the spanish conquest of the America's, yet their ghosts still reside within. A people that traveled these lands in constant migration and who were grounded by a spiritual sense of wander and admiration in the nature of the expansive territory they traversed. These two opposing bloodlines give me a unique perspective on the state of our social turmoil. We are all children of other places yet a portion of me had always been here. It is profound that I am seen by some as foreign. Thank you my friend for your keen insight and also the prolific art you share in this community. I know I for one appreciate it as well as you for the writer and human being that you are.

[Debra K Middaugh]

That was profound. You are a creative genius. Thank you Carlos.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you Debra as a fan of your art I appreciate the kind words. This poem reflects a lot of me but also those who I love and admire. Those that some in society would deem different or hated simply because they choose to live life true to themselves. Those who I call my heroes. Thank you again for your kind words.

[John Prophet]

It never ceases to amaze how the percentage of melanin in a persons skin can determine their character.
To me this reflects the level of humanities maturity or lack there off.
Hang tough. You and yours never deserved this bullshit.
JP

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you JP for your thoughts and reading this poem. Assimilation is vile in my eyes for it requires a loss of something be accepted into the whole. As I mentioned in one of the comments below I am of mix blood. My bloodline can be traced to the indigenous wanderers of the America's. Who were in constant migration between Southern, Central, and Northern America. When the Spaniards invaded and mixed the European blood into the natives that added cultural change into the mix. Within what defines me I am both natjve and foreign, yet more hated by those who are foreign to these lands their ancestors stole. I find that truly profound. As well as sad. I wrote this as a personal love letter to diversity in all her beautiful colors and ways. Thank you again my friend for your comment.

[Chris Shaw]

Listen to your own heart. Be who you know yourself to be. Others, don't matter. Decent people will gravitate towards you because of who you are. They will feel it. They will sense it. They will recognise the common bonds that unite, regardless of where people comee from or the colour of their skin. You touched me with this write dear Carlos. I reach out to you this morning.

Chris

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you Chris for commenting on this poem. All to often people judge what they don't understand. If a woman shows strength, fortitude, and stands up for herself they refer to her as a b***h. If a person acts, dresses, or talks and chooses to love differently they will judge them for that by using other vile words. And when they have nothing else to hate you for they will find reasons too whether it's your skin color or faith. In this piece I wanted to point out assimilation and how it does more to divide then be inclusive. Especially here in the states. We claim to be this bastion of diversity yet we strip people of their culture and take away those vital defining pieces of them. This all done by people who themselves came from somewhere else and were foreign to these shores. I myself from my ethnicity have both native and foreign blood within me. These conflicting aspects of myself illustrate the pernicious nature of assimilation. My indigenous roots originate from the Americas as my blood line could be traced to those who were in constant migration through these lands. Then that Spanish invaded conquering the natives and seeding their bloodline into them. I have European blood in me from that as well. And despite this ancestry I am seen as less American from people who are more foreign than I. That is truly profound. My mother was so shamed by our culture she made us never speak Spanish and only English hoping we would never be judged but accepted. But you can take away the language but you can't change the skin. Or the heart of culture. And love. This poem seeks to speak of all the beautiful attributes that are reviled and hated by some. Because they fear what they don't know and choose never to. This is my love letter to diversity in all her beautiful colors and ways. Thank you Chris for your powerful statement that resonates with the theme of this poem.

[Chris Shaw]

Far too much judgement Carlos and in short, not nearly enough love. Sad.

[John the Baptist]

Changing the world is a tall order, for we are a planet of tribes. But as the poem says, others may categorize you, but only you can choose to be who you are. The world can't take that away from you.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you John that truly is the message this poem hopes to convey. I actually thought about leaving the vile words uncensored which would have probably had a more impactful resonance to the poem. But I decided it was best not to give these awful words any more power than what they already have. Censoring them also allowed for a wider audience than having to label it mature content. Thank you so much again for reading and also commenting on this piece.

[Relic]

The world can be a really cruel place to live. People will often find any reason to disparage others. It can be skin color, a persons weight, the way they dress, their new haircut etc...

Knowing who you are and what you're capable of is the most important trait we can have. To be assured and confident in our own skin is priceless.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you relic for sharing your thoughts and reading this poem I appreciate it. I believe in those ideas you mention, but what is unfortunate is not everyone is afforded the opportunity to gain them, or allow them to flourish within them due to circumstances beyond their control. Such as the environment and community they are raised within. I remember when I was about 4 1/2 yrs old hearing my mother and grandmother get into an argument. My mother was angry that my grandmother was only speaking to me and my brothers in Spanish and she wanted her to stop doing that. She wanted us to assimilate and not be burdened by our culture once we were to begin our education. She felt we would be stigmatized and shamed as being looked at as other. So she drilled into our minds speak English and that we are American only. When I started kindergarten in 1970 the teacher has each student stand individually and stae their name and what they were. When I was called upon I gave my name and stated proudly I am American. The teacher told me that I was wrong that I was Mexican. We went back and forth for a couple of minutes and I was angry and in tears telling her she was wrong. I was sent to the principal's office and my mother was called in. After a lengthy discussion I was told I had to apologize to the teacher. It was the first time I ever felt shame for who I am and less American. Our environment and the people play a defining part of who we are as we grow in our education. When people of authority tell you who you are in their eyes you tend to believe regardless if you feel they are wrong. It took me many many years years to have pride in my culture and ethnicity, because for years prior I felt shame. I want to live in that world where the ideas you speak of are prevalent in all children and absolute. But sadly our lives and experiences growing up in America are vastly different individually for many reasons and none so more perniciously that ethnicity. Thank you again my friend for your insight and words. I truly do appreciate it.

[Relic]

And I appreciate your insightful response.