The Fall

See author's note on funny reason this poem came into existence. At least I think it's funny.

The Fall

By

Carlos Lorenzo Estrada 

The feeders of degradation wept

As the world they created slept

Pernicious mind and redolent thought

Malicious intent ripened violence is sought.

Sowers of a chasm in chaos unleashed 

Rhetorical hyperbolic words are released 

Into a world unwilling to change

Malevolence given as gift to attain 

So feed upon the remnants of insincerity 

Revel in this hatred with vile clarity 

The strings are all cut; we fall from our grace.

We're shadows of humanity torn from this place

An eye for an eye, an ear for an ear 

The ending is obviously fatally clear

When there's nothing left to hate what's left 

It is a question to ponder and never forget.

Lest we be noble through all this calamity 

What ashes will be left of our humanity 

 

Author's Note

After over dosing on cheetos and mountain dew I recently had an out of body experience, or maybe just indigestion who knows. While in the Astral plane I ran into Shakespeare's younger step brother Buford Shakespeare. He told me the following, "Yo brah what up with all the hate over there? Why can't you'all git along? I'ma tell you the same thing I told Wilie." It was then Buford recited these words though truth be told I think he may have plagiarized most of it. I'm just saying, but I could be wrong. Anyway feel free to comment or leave kind colorful thoughts. I'm off for more cheetos.

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

Sadly we live in violent and chaotic times. In fact nothing's changed much from the medieval brutality of the past. It's still alive and well today. Hard to believe, but you just have to switch on the news to see it. It isn't always far away either, there can be pockets virtually on your own doorstep. What happened to compassion? Maybe that word has been cancelled. All good wishes dear Carlos. Thank you for the eloquence in your words.

Chris

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you Chris for your thoughts I hope all is going well for you. I had been away for a couple of weeks due to some health issues. But I'm doing well. I'm seeing some new writers joining the community which is a delight. Thank you so much again.

[Chris Shaw]

I wondered why you hadn't been around. You were missed. Hope you are recovering well. Yes we have some new writers in our community. Take care Carlos.

[David Plantinga]

The poem is titled "The Fall" which brings up thoughts of original sin and total depravity. If people are really depraved and inevitably inherit a vicious nature, there's no hope for improvement. One line reads "Into a world unwilling to change" which indicates change is difficult if not impossible. A later section reads "we fall from our grace" not "we fall from grace" which would be more biblical.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you for your comment on this poem. Your assessment is spot on in the defining qualities of the message of this work.

[no tell writer]

An eye for an eye, an ear for an ear
The ending is obviously fatally clear

I really like this part, this world is so sad these days, Makes me think of staying inside more, but unfortuntaly I can not. well written

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

thank you for your thoughts on this piece. It's a pretty crazy and angry world we live in right now. I can only hope things get better for the future generations because we old folks sure are ruining everything.

[no tell writer]

I try my best to spread kindness, but sometimes I get weird looks from other's like "What is she doing?" kinda looks. I just want to say it's called kindness but I don't.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

I'm just a really old man but my advice to you would be just be you and don't let anyone try to change anything about who you are. Kindness is rare these days and we need more of it in the world. This place would be much better right now if people loved a little more than they hate. But people don't want to give and express love because it requires a bit of sacrifice to do so. A small piece of kindness from the heart that too many are to greedy to share of themselves. So you be you and live as an example for others to see what a kind person truly is. You will inspire others by your kindness. Thank you again.

[Betty Hermelee]

Who created this hate? Has it been around for centuries? Probably. This piece is an excellent comment on the hatred that is the essence of our society, especially at this moment. How can some people go on hating when there’s nothing left to hate? They fall from grace and burn into ashes. Why can’t we see some goodness in humans? It’s a sad state of affairs.
truly
B.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

I wholeheartedly agree with you, B. There should never be a choice between love and hate, for love should always conquer in our better judgment. But love requires a bit of sacrifice that some are just to selfish to give. Hate asks nothing from a person, but eventually what is left behind from it is assured pain. As one who leans more toward a humanist belief I would rather love and sacrifice a small piece of my heart to fortify it than live a life of hatred toward others. Some just fail and fall short of finding that compassion within them. Thank you so much for your wise thoughts on this piece.

[Betty Hermelee]

You’re very welcome dear Carlos😊

[Pete]

very cleverly done. despite being playful or playfully hatched, a deep, serious issue contained herein. where do things end and how the end or is an end imminent? is a world unwilling to change doomed? it is interesting that recently there has been talk of taking serious steps and forcing us to alter our behaviors that are detrimental to the planet. like the old adage, "pride cometh before the fall" as evidenced by adam and eve. good read that billy would appreciate especially munching on cheetos and washing them down with some dew ... :)

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you Pete for your thoughts on this work. I'm a believer of the adage "If you stand for nothing, you'll fall for anything." A heart lacking in empathy, morality, and ethics is one that is quite easy to manipulate. Because their sense is less common then others. Stupidity is a choice. It is amazing to me that in this day and age with the entirety of knowledge at our fingertips unlike any other time in history we have so many ignorant people still in the world. It is a lack of curiosity that will be the end of us. Thank you again my friend.

[Ruth]

Written a manner Shakespeare would smile about :) I would say portals are not bad a thing to explore whether on cheetos or not lol The saddening state of this realm has turned cold and riddled with a lack of empathy, would that everyone could awake to that one thought and the rest may fall into place, ah - the title of this piece echoed in my mind :) A poignant statement Carlos, one that is important to articulate in such times...

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you kindly Ruth for your thoughts on this poem. I am in total agreement with them. It is unfortunate we fail to learn from history and are doomed to repeat it. In a society whose founding pillars in ideology is diversity hate can not exist within it. For it is an antithetical belief that runs counter to inclusiveness. Nothing within the idea of hatred propagates freedom. I wanted to try and relay that message to the reader's heart. Thank you again for your thoughts.

[Lorry]

Old Burford has a point. If all they can do is rant and rave, then what does that show about them and their lives, other than they are filled with hate so much it has to pour out of them and infect others, and mountain dew ain't gonna help with calm reflective happy thoughts, is it? It's like anxiety in a can (or bottle)
You should have looked out for John lennon on your plane. He has a way of calming anyone off a ledge 😊
And we could do with more John Lennons and less of the Trumpist angry men who only ever show that for all they have, their contents are not so fresh.
But we'll done for staying so lucid whilst having the resting heartbeat of a marathon runner in a hurry 😊

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Ah one of the great poets Mr Lennon. I deeply share his hope and "imagine" a better humanity for us all. Thank you Lorry for the pearly wisdom and kind thoughts. Despite these dark musings I'm forever an optimist and dreamer of our better ways and nature.

[barleygirl]

I must've been clicking on your mostly "soft" poems since I started to get to know your poetry, so finding this powerful statement is a nice change! The harshness that passes as social discourse is one reason I live alone in the wilderness (((HUGS)))

PS . . . your cheetos confessions are pretty funny, too!

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Being born into the 60s despite its turmoil inspired hope in us as a society. What is maddening is how we squandered it and allowed our worse vices to take root. In the revolution of that time we threw away our better societal ideas that were fought for to give into greed and hate. This is the destructive legacy we pass to our children and future generations. We are living a bad Dr. Seuss parable in heading towards our own demise. Thank you Margie for your thoughts on this piece.

[Jennifer Martin]

Wow, Carlos! Haunting and so tragically accurate during this time of chaos and hate in our world. Your writing is phenomenal, your words harsh, but true. Wonderful, sad piece of art!

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you Jennifer for your kind thoughts on this piece. This was a very bleak write in all honesty. Sometimes it starts with a simple phrase or sentence and from there the words just go where they want. Then there are those writings that have more foundation to them and I simply finish them off with flourish and color. This particular one simply dealt with misinformation being fed into the mind of the masses to control our emotions and rage. To incite hatred amongst us for their own pleasure and scheme. Keeping us hating each other as they steal from us blindly. Taking joy to the point of tears toward our ignorant and insufferable destruction. A nihilistic view of our future if we fail to change our ways and empower ourselves with knowledge so we do not fall prey to their devious behavior. Thank you kindly for taking the time to read and comment.

[Laz K.]

Why won't the world change? Why won't people change? Why won't I change? It is my view that we only learn through suffering. The harder the ego-shell, the more force it will take to break through it. So, it seems we're in for a rough ride.

Will Shakespeare didn't have a younger step brother named Buford. I think you OD-ed on sugar. But, as we know facts are not the same as truth, so your message is still valid. :)

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you Laz for your thoughts on this work. I am in total agreement with you. We truly are in for a rough ride. These days are proving that it's easier to hate then find any kindness or compassion within us. It is so easy to manipulate the majority of the populace because they lack the curiosity to educate themselves with the truth. 80 years ago a tyrant fed propaganda to his people and almost brought the world to annihilation and to now know that can be a possibility in this day and age reflects badly on our lack of education and will to want to change for the betterment of humanity.