It is said secretly that Aphrodite asked her consort Ares to write a poem of his love. He did so, unfortunately, it was to himself. It is why vanities and passion often stir the rage of war.
Song of Ares
By
Carlos Lorenzo Estrada
When words are not enough
You will find me raging like a gale against the unforsaken sea
Plaint will unbreakable; courageous strong immutable, ships fall to me.
I will be the tempest of havoc cloaked in shroud of forlorn angst
Vociferous vehement fury; cascades of the acrimonious.
The silence will be my scream, the calm my anger
I will be the Janus mask in counter toward your supple nature.
The bonds of love will not be rapturous, nor harmonic in concordance
I will be the stolen flame whisked by the hands of Prometheus.
It shall be by my will that the dirge of war commence
Mournful unforgiving violently nihilistic in endeavor.
Let the funeral pyres burn noxious vaporous white
The dead shall be earth and the blood shall be rain.
If this were a song I could actually hear then it would be sung by Led Zeppelin with the blues rock edge of Robert Plant along with his virtuoso minstrel the great Jimmy Page. Thank you for reading and feel free to comment on this work.
My Review
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I think you may have a singular typo. Should the first word in the third line be "pliant" as in "flexible"? The reference to Janus I found interesting as well, the god of new beginnings, of passages and change with his two faces representing different natures. But this is Ares with all his vengeful wrath excited. I must say that I prefer his sister Athena as her warlike tendencies are generally better tempered by prudence and well-planned strategy. But it is nice to see the old classics of mythology are not completely forgotten by written verse. You bring forth the nature of war very nicely here and the bloodthirst of Ares. Nicely done.
Posted 3 Years Ago
3 Years Ago
Thank you Fabian for your kind review. I enjoyed writing this poem. I tried to come at it in a dire.. read moreThank you Fabian for your kind review. I enjoyed writing this poem. I tried to come at it in a direction of Venus asking her love Ares to write her a poem of his affections toward her but instead he makes it all about himself. The pliant part represents his will to bend but it can never be broken. It is indomitable and will bring inevitable destruction much like war. It was a lot of fun writing through the eyes of such a dominant aggressive arrogant conceited character. His hubris knows no end. If e had a choice between loving a mirror or Venus I believe the mirror would win. The Janus part was tricky because I was trying to imply in the only single sentence towards Venus that he would be her opposite opposing force in his love. Where she is soft gentle in nature he is fire and rage in counter. But with Ares who really knows. The gods are fickle to the needs of man. We are merely pawns on their board. In love and war. That you again for the kind review.
Well, Ares was the god of war, so we shouldn't be surprised if we don't get "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" here. The old boy glories in death and destruction; it is his will, as the poet says, that its dirge commences. It is tempting to wonder if such words were not being whispered in Adolf Hitler's ear on September 1,1939. If so, then in his case, words were enough.
Posted 3 Years Ago
3 Years Ago
I would not be surprised at all with your assessment my friend. The Teutonic Gods shared similariti.. read moreI would not be surprised at all with your assessment my friend. The Teutonic Gods shared similarities with other cultural deities. I could definitely see Hitler having a fascination with War gods whether it be Tyr or Ares and any other that espoused the annihilation of one's enemies. And you're right Ares wouldn't exactly write anything close to tiptoe through the tulips hahaha but it sure would be funny as Hell if he did. Thank you John for your thoughts on this work my friend.
What a powerful poem! You express Ares' boastful arrogant warlike voice so well. I love the cadences of language ("The dead shall be earth and the blood shall be rain") Really enjoyed it. S.
Thank you Sherri for the nice comment. Characters like Ares are fun to write about because they are .. read moreThank you Sherri for the nice comment. Characters like Ares are fun to write about because they are so over the top as far as their personality is concerned. I really didn't have to hold back my inner braggert on this one haha. He's the epitome of masculine bravado beyond parody. I pretty much had a huge laugh after writing this because even to my standards it was a bit too much. How could Venus ever love a man like this? He is definitely a bad boy with irredeemably qualities. Thank you again for leaving your thoughts I appreciate it.
3 Years Ago
It must have been fun to write. But funny, how there's a little bit of us even in the most unreliab.. read moreIt must have been fun to write. But funny, how there's a little bit of us even in the most unreliable narrators!
3 Years Ago
That is so true. It's why I have always loved this art form of writing. You can always see a bit of .. read moreThat is so true. It's why I have always loved this art form of writing. You can always see a bit of the writer in and between the words. How their mind works a bit of their personality and their aspirations. Even as eclectic as my writing is one can easily see me through the words. It is such a self defining art form. We write what we know and what we know best is ourselves. Thank you Sherri for sharing your thoughts and also I enjoy reading your work as well.
You certainly can do plenty when words are not enough.... wreak havoc, chaos, the dirge of war, rage like a gale ...fury, funeral pyres burning, What else??? I'm not that familiar with Greek mythology ....you use strong word to get across your point and set the scene. Well written Carlos....
Best, B
Posted 3 Years Ago
3 Years Ago
Thank you, Betty, for the comment. Since Ares is the god of war and consort to the beautiful goddess.. read moreThank you, Betty, for the comment. Since Ares is the god of war and consort to the beautiful goddess of love Venus he needed to be described as very violent in his passion. The premise to this poem is a test from Venus who asks of Ares to write her a poem reflecting his love for her. But Ares being who he is an obscenely overly conceited testosterone filled misogynist who loves himself more then anyone else wrote this poem describing his love for himself. He did throw in one line for his girlfriend but it's all about Ares. Characters like him are fun to write because you can totally go overboard and be overly effusive in his vanity and love of self. Pompous arrogant characters are so much fun. Terrible in real life but a joy to write about especially when they fall and are humbled because chances are they never learn from failure. Thank you so much again.
wow, what a song. sure says a lot 'when words are not enough', all's fair in love and war. plant and page are genius as is this poem. kudos ... :)
Posted 3 Years Ago
3 Years Ago
Thanks Pete, yup I agree Led Zeppelin one of the all time greatest bands ever. No one rocked harder .. read moreThanks Pete, yup I agree Led Zeppelin one of the all time greatest bands ever. No one rocked harder then Zep...no one. And with such profound poetic words that leaves the listener in awe of their meaning. I just know that Ares favorite songs would be a soundtrack of nothing but Led Zeppelin and nothing else. Zep are rock Gods. Thank you for leaving your thoughts on this work I so appreciate it.
Music can be so free smetimes... sometimes the best inspiration can come from being intertwined in music! Love this thank you
Posted 3 Years Ago
3 Years Ago
Omg yes I totally agree. There are just some characters that when a writer writes about them they al.. read moreOmg yes I totally agree. There are just some characters that when a writer writes about them they already know the Playlist of music that best defines them. Like for Ares it would totally be Led Zeppelin both the immigrant song and Kashmir. He so exudes their rock style. He is a vanity testosterone filled gym rat bad boy who is always looking at himself in the mirror even if he is standing next to Venus. Because he believes no one is more gorgeous than he. This poem is all about the love he has for no one else but himself. He's just wired that way, like major daddy issues with this guy. Thanks Haylie for leaving your thoughts on this poem.
Powerful and strong words shared my friend.
"No cry of Angels sing, nor hungering demons weep
The songs of War shall forever reap.
When words are not enough "
I have wrote similar words. The screams of war have overtook the prayers for peace Carlos. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote
Posted 3 Years Ago
3 Years Ago
Thank you, CP, I had so much fun writing this poem because it's all about Ares. He is one egomaniac .. read moreThank you, CP, I had so much fun writing this poem because it's all about Ares. He is one egomaniac filled with vanity and contempt for higher and lesser beings. It's all about him. Who doesn't love to write from the perspective of a flawed character who doesn't see he is. One as arrogant as the God of War. His words had to be overly effusive and rhetorically over the top. I would like to eventually write a satirical short story on this guy because it would be so much fun. Thank you again my friend for leaving your thoughts on this work.
3 Years Ago
I look forward to reading Carlos and you are welcome my friend.
Lyrics tell what is, but the power of music shows one how.
God-like phrasing and use of vocabulary, but perhaps your words battle with self too, trying to pinpoint the worst and best.
' It shall be by my will that the dirge of war commence - Mournful unforgiving violently nihilistic in endeavor. ' Love?
Posted 3 Years Ago
3 Years Ago
Thank you, Emmajoy, for your thoughts on this poem. My intent was to come at this with the perspect.. read moreThank you, Emmajoy, for your thoughts on this poem. My intent was to come at this with the perspective of a God who is nothing but vanity and a fever dream of raged filled testosterone. That when the goddess Venus asks him to write her a love poem he instead makes it all about himself. He maybe throws a line in reference to how he will love her but it's all about Ares. He basically is pointing out all the reasons why she is lucky to love him. Typical narcissistic bad boy complex. Characters like Ares are so fun to write about because they are so irredeemably conceited and overwhelming arrogant that you could totally go over the top with their dialogue. I feel bad for Venus because he is pretty much saying to her: I love hard and rough just the way I like it and how I know you do because hey I'm Ares and I shouldn't have to tell you this because there isn't enough words to say how lucky you and every other woman should be in my presence. The musical reference I feel would definitely be Led Zeppelin because they are melodic hard rocking power house of pure unadulterated manhood. They don't ask for your permission they take it. Women love them and men wish to be them. Plus they are one of my favorite bands of all time. Haha. Also, side note, Ares views love as war itself it's his shtick. To my eyes he is the steroid filled over testosterone gym rat conceited bad boy everyone despises with a big enough ego it engulfs a room before he enters it. And he so loves himself that he would make love to a mirror because of his reflection. Haha. Thank you, Emmajoy, for your thoughts on this work.
3 Years Ago
Thank you for the details" My reaction as I read them is/was the typical spoiled son of a doting my.. read moreThank you for the details" My reaction as I read them is/was the typical spoiled son of a doting mythical mother! However, we know the myths stem from dreams stll coming true to this very day.. hence the use of classical roots to our language.. if that isn't ;arrogant, what can be! Mirror mirror on the wall tell me it isn't Venus at all!.
3 Years Ago
Lol I bet that mirror is sweating bullets hoping Venus isn't around to hear him answer Ares. We all .. read moreLol I bet that mirror is sweating bullets hoping Venus isn't around to hear him answer Ares. We all know the saying about a woman scorned. That mirror just might end up with few cracks in it. Thank you for the giggles Emmajoy. I think I'm gonna go cover my mirror because I hate to be judged.
... Both a 'Whole lotta love' n respect Carlos ..........................magnificent penmanship :)
Posted 3 Years Ago
3 Years Ago
Oh another classic song from Zeppelin I can never forget. Thank you, Neville, for stopping by and le.. read moreOh another classic song from Zeppelin I can never forget. Thank you, Neville, for stopping by and leaving your thoughts. And most importantly for your friendship.
I always enjoy deep,well written poems. This I enjoyed very much. Thanks for sharing this.
Posted 3 Years Ago
3 Years Ago
Thank you, Keith, for the nice review. It was a fun write to be honest. To get to write from the pe.. read moreThank you, Keith, for the nice review. It was a fun write to be honest. To get to write from the perspective of a Greek God of War was a wonderful prospect. Especially when he is writing a love letter to himself which is the ultimate height of hubris. Who wouldn't enjoy the fun in that? Characters like him are a writer's dream. Thank you so much again for the wonderful comment.
If I can say something worth saying that makes just one person think about others...I'll try. The greatest storyteller was my grandmother. I miss her stories. Also, I would like to add to please pay.. more..