In the Darkest Night

I have written about a strange conversation with the Serpent, so now I will speak of a dance with beautiful Death. She waits for us, you can hear her quiet song in the dead of night.

In the Darkest Night 

By

Carlos Lorenzo Estrada 

(A Gothic tale in Poetry)

In the darkest night, 

my love came to me.

Ephemeral shadow 

Hidden through specious glee

What glib tongue speaks 

that fascinates the eye

Mottled mortal coil 

In banshee cry.

A gown of dust white

With blackest lace

A sorrow'd veil

With hidden face.

A danse macabre 

In languished song

Idyllic hearts

Which guide us wrong.

Her deathly lips

And hallowed lies.

In nimbus clouds

With dark wing flies.

She does not speak,

But through eyes reveal.

Our wretched nature

In truth surreal.

But through her love

I come to see.

Within darkest night

Her company.

So heed my warning

When death knocks thrice.

Take heart; don't answer

is my advice. 

Unless you choose

To Danse...

Author's Note

This community has been welcoming to me and my art. I have found new friends and a new home. I can't express in words their meaning to me. There simply aren't words that could aptly describe my deepest appreciation for everyone here in this community. I can only state unequivocally that it is a blessing to be treated as a peer, even though as an artist I see little appeal in my work sometimes. But I'm often reminded we truly are our worst critic. Thank you all in accepting me and my work, it has been life changing. I can't say it enough.

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I love the "danse" of that macabre love that entices us.
the one we know we should fear and stay away from...but we walk in the night, reckless abandon,
find it is worth the repercussions when the interlude is that sensual...something we are lucky to experience.
And your poetry is of high quality, Carlos...you have been gracious in reviews as well. You are a welcomed addition to our community.
j.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you, Jacob, for your words, both in encouragement as well as your art. I can't help but learn to improve in this beautiful art form by being surrounded by amazingly talented writers of poetry. I feel I'm in a college studying amongst great writing artists. Despite the unwelcoming trolls that we have infest our community it is still an incredible place to learn, develop, hone craft, share, and help. I had always been exclusively a short story writer, but since becoming a member I have a greater appreciation and love for poetry and its art form. Also my maturity has a lot to do with it as well. In my youth education was bothersome an irritant, now in my 50s I crave knowledge. It truly is liberating and empowering this art of learning and writing. And I can see the improvement in my work because of Writers Cafe and the incredible talent within this community. Thanks to you and the others I'm a better writer.

[mattavelli]

Hello, Carlos! :)
This is my favorite of your poems. There are some lovely lines here. Thanks for sharing.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

To be honest this is one of my favorites as well. Equal to "The Serpent and the Holy Man". If I could write like this every single day I would be content as a writer. Unfortunately it's rarely the case my mind is to manic to do that. But the dark theme of this piece really speaks to me in almost a solemnic peacefulness. Thank you, Matt.

[Orphic dreamer]

Each and every verse is so remarkable. They string so well with the whole poem. I also adore your style of writing it. Great job!

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you, so much for the compliment. I truly appreciate it. This poem as well as "the serpent and the Holy Man" were so much fun to write. They have very strong themes associated to them. This one especially conjured such evocative imagery in its dreamlike quality. It made me want to dance with death. And in these words I felt as if I did. To give this moment to the reader I felt was a gift as a writer and the journey which we are all fated to take. And to not be too afraid when the time comes for your need to danse. Thank you again for reading and taking this poem into your heart.

[Sami Khalil]

The honor is mine to have you part of this community. You are very creative and humble unlike some that feel they are better than us.
This gothic piece is powerful. Need more time to read which is a good thing. Keep up the great work, sir.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you, Sami, for stopping by and sharing your thoughts here on this poem. I really appreciate it. Even at my older age I continue to grow and learn as a person. Your poetry and also those of others here in this community inspire me and my work. I learn from all of you the beauty of this art. And I feel lucky to call each and everyone my friend.

[Sami Khalil]

All wonderful and worthy. You are welcome sir. See you soon.

[Shelley Warner]

This poem showed up on a list of top writings. It is artfully written. And I'll take your advice and not answer when Death comes knocking. Not until I absolutely have to.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you for the read, Shelley, and also sharing your thoughts on this work. I'm starting to find I'm less fearful of death now, but more scared of spiders, snakes, and mice for some strange unknown reason. Now I can probably get a bird, a wolf, and a cat to cure the three fears. But death I simply have to leave into the hands of faith, although being agnostic makes it a little difficult but not impossible haha. I just don't know how to dance so death is definitely going to be a bit disappointed in my moves. I mean I'm really bad, like totally cringe worthy shaking of the head bad. There is no song nor music of any kind that can cure my ailment. So death is going to have her hands full with me if she's looking for a dance. On the upside a few people will get more days in life because of it. Thank you so much again for your kind words on this work. I truly appreciate it.

[Dave Brown]

I'd have to say you are well gifted and I can always expect a meaningful and well presented piece from you
This particular piece is deeply dark and delicious

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you, Dave. I just have to admit that it was a pleasure to write this piece. It was just as fun as the writing of The Serpent and the Holy Man. In the past poetry writing had always been difficult for me. I took my enjoyment in short storytelling. Maybe because I'm much more mature now and have a greater appreciation for the art form. Also because of this community of incredibly talented poets. I can't help but draw inspiration from them. Read their work and also study their styles. How they weave towards their work's theme with the precise and perfect words needed in its flow. I really feel I'm improving because of Writers Cafe. Thank you again for your comment my friend.

[Robert Trakofler]

I hear a Poe-etic influence in these lines Carlos:) I hate almost everything I write and publish usually within days:/ 1 often say 1 out of 10 do I still like and out of those only 1 out of 10 do I love:) It is part of the love of words and verse that this affliction occurs to a writer, there is no cure... only an inextricable need for fulfillment and honing. My friend welcome to the confederacy of the impossible and take solace in the knowledge that you are not alone:) These dances to which you infer in the poem are a splendid affair some times thay whisper grand stories to your pen other times they whisper an invitation to an ending so we must scrawl our eptitaphs as quickly as possible

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you, kindly Robert, for your comment it is deeply appreciated. Ah the great Master of terror ol Edgar Allen Poe, I will never forget the telltale heart. His work and also I tend to owe a bit to H.P. Lovecraft. He has cursed me with my over descriptive writing style. My Lit teacher would often tell me to stop being too wordy. And to also read more Steinbeck and Hemingway as well. But in all honesty any writer I have read has had some influence in the way I write. Can't help but borrow from the greats. Imitation is truly the highest form of flattery. I'll take being a 6th rate Steinbeck anytime in a heartbeat hahaha. I still have a soft spot for his short story classic "The Pearl" in my heart. What I wouldn't give to live in the days of those classic writers and see them work their magic. Thank you again, Robert, for commenting and reading this poem. I truly appreciate it, my friend.

[Fran Marie]

deliciously dark piece written
with lovely poetic expression
even when dying there is a touch
of beauty therein

not quite ready to
accept the danse of death
with this macabre visitor
but then we have no say so.
good advice .though at the end

Nice Work Carlos

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you, Fran. I totally agree with your thoughts to never accept a dance with Lady death, though to be honest she will probably leave me alone for a while longer. Simply because I'm like a totally horrible dancer and it would really tick her off having to waste so much time trying to teach me how. I mean she could probably loose a good 50 or 60 souls just trying to teach me a fox trot and that's not including the amount of broken toes for her in the process by me stepping on them. I'm just God awful at dance and don't get me started on my singing because that's enough to scare away the angels, though I must confess that dogs like my singing. They tend to howl along with my song, but it could be because of the pain in their ears from hearing me. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment I truly appreciate it.

[Fran Marie]

you are a most
talented writer
and so very welcome

[Chris Shaw]

A most enjoyable read Carlos. You are quite prolific with your writing. You must have a sympathetic muse. Mine can be so mean. You make death almost enticing here. This poem is rich in its language and imagery. I liked the gothic nature of the storyline. I have also heeded the warning. Better to be lonely than invite her in. I am in no hurry to dance with her.

Your author notes state that you are happy to have found this community and it has been life changing for you. I would say as a member of this community, we are fortunate to have you here sharing your work which is consistently of a high standard.

Great to read you.

Chris

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you, Chris, for your thoughts as well as kind nature and spirit. This one poem was a joy to write and was really created in the darkest of night. My bedroom window is always slightly open and the sheer curtains were dancing by a light summer breeze. The allusion was very striking and a bit disconcerting for someone my age hahaha. Almost in jest I said I think you have the wrong house, perhaps the neighbor down the street. It was a bit of my old bones speaking out to death. It was then my muse said, really dude? I give you inspiration and you try to shoo me away, for shame, maybe I should go haunt someone that can actually write. And as is my cynical custom and crotchety manner I told the muse...I think Steinbeck lives three blocks west, I mean Herchel Steinbeck the opthomologist, go bother him. Alas she would not let me sleep until I wrote this loving nightmare down unfortunately. I really hope my irritating muse stops with the late night visits because I don't know how much longer this old heart can take. I'm not a spring chicken anymore, I'm more an old grumpy wintery rooster. Thank you again for your kind words as well as putting up with my overly long responses. Sincerely, C

[Chris Shaw]

Oh those late night visits by the muse. I know all about them :). When the muse calls, I follow.