Love letters in Lilac

I must confess sending them in my youth to former lovers. I could only hope they were smart enough to burn them after reading.

Love letters in Lilac 

By

Carlos Lorenzo Estrada 

I could profess my love for you

Yet would be meaningless without action.

Based purely on a speculative intent 

As well as the laws of attraction.

I could climb the highest mountain 

Such thought would question sanity 

I could swim the deepest sea

Though this body lacks in buoyancy.

Love letters written often received

Pale in comparisons to what actions achieve.

Dogmatic a virtue love often portends

Plunders the heart and soul often rends.

A cognitive dissonance poet's oft sound

Praising its ideas while its sorrow abounds.

I have burned and been burned 

I've been oppressed and have oppress.

This dichotomous ideology 

Is perplexing I confess.

Found redemption from its act

Strained convictions with attack.

I have battled against its notion

Cast doubt upon its devotion.

But at end we surrender to its very flighty nature.

For the alternative of love is yet a lonesome venture.

Author's Note

Thank you for taking the time to read this poem.

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

Dear Carlos, I reflected on young love here. Your scented title is so enticing. I was drawn in to find a message loud and clear. It is actions that that speak volumes not words. The could haves here spoke to this reader:) Your poem reminded me of my first love who walked five miles in the pouring rain to ensure he kissed me goodnight. That had a huge impact on me. I wonder whether your letters caught the match or not :) I thoroughly enjoyed this read, how it made me ponder and how it brought back a first love who tragically died at 26. Thank you for the beauty of your poetry.

Chris

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you Chris for your comment and also sharing that very heart felt memory of your first love. It was touching to read. I had a similar experience with the first love of my life both of us teens and neighbors. Going outside in the pouring rain to kiss her as she leaned outside her bedroom window. I was magic. A memory I myself will never forget. Thank you for sharing your with me and the kind words on this poem. I did actually made love letters for her while spraying my moms perfume on the paper which had a strong scent of lavender. Was too young to own my own cologne and thought my mom's perfume smelled really nice. Years later me and my ex would laugh about it because she thought I enjoyed wearing female perfume. Eventually I started stealing sprays of my dad's old spice after shave cologne to put on the letters instead haha.

[Chris Shaw]

You know Carlos, I have to give you a full ten marks out of ten for the scented letters. Pinching your mum's perfume is an endearing thought to me. You know I quite liked the smell of old spice as well :) Enjoyed your share here :)

[redzone]

In your reply to Jacob's comment, you state that the existential question was, "where are my keys?" But.... perhaps the existential question(s) might also include, "why did I leave my keys locked in my car along with my heart?"

Carlos, as I read your letter/poem, I was also thinking that it is not just Love that needs the proof of actions, but almost every human endeavor. What good are words without the 'touch'? On the other hand, 'touch' becomes more meaningful with the words. And to continue with your letter, instead of burning them, she might ask, "why didn't you do something about these feelings?"
-Curt

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

who am I to argue such wisdom, Curt. Though to be fair I was an ignorant youth back then still grappling with the understanding of this most human emotion. When I was a teenager going through the end of my very first relationship my grandmother sat next to me attempting to comfort my pain. She said, you can only control how you choose to love someone, never how they choose to love you back, you can only hope it's the same. It took me years to fully understand the gem of her wisdom. Love is perplexing because it's meant to be. It's both simplicity and complexity. It requires sacrifice, yet thrives on a bit of selfishness. One loves being in love, while also hating it. For the heart is never more vulnerable than when it has given fully of itself to another. Love is a thing of poetry, a screed of madness, in a state of constant confusion, with a dash of selfishness and stubbornness. Love is the perfect imperfection. But love moves the heart to be better. And in the end as my grandmother so eloquently stated...we can only hope. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me Curt. I truly wish I had a better answer to give you, but even at my age of 60 love still remains a mystery to me. Your friend CLE

[Beren]

wow i knew someone who would have loved this poem but we don't see each other anymore so it left a bittersweet taste. but the poem is really wrapped in beautiful words and emotions. This poem is so clever. Is writing this poem an act of proof of love? I read it over and over again and although it has stuck in my heart, I can't let it go. This poem has made me a love masochist in a good way.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you for your wonderful comment on this poem, Beren. I feel this poem straddles the line of sanity, insanity, pessimism and optimism, love and hate. It's a lifetime of experience from the stories of other on the subject as well as my own. We love being in love as well as hating it. Because nothing leaves the heart more vulnerable then that emotion. So many years ago my grandmother saw me crying after my first loving relationship ended. Seeing me distraught and in anguish she gave me a profound piece of wisdom. She said, you can only control how you choose to love someone, never how they choose to love you back, you can only hope it's the same. It took me years to fully understand the gem of wisdom. And why love hurts; in both beautiful ways and painful sorrowful ways. And in the end all we can ever do when it comes to love...is hope.CLE

[Beren]

I can't believe this, you posted this comment just as I was writing a poem about this subject to try to cool my heart. And you have no idea how much I need this. I need to read it over and over again.

Poem is amazing, your comment is amazing. Thank you so so much.

[Betty Hermelee]

What is love without action? It could still be, but not the same fantasy....All the writing, thinking, observing, redeeming, swim the oceans are nothing compared to a sensual, knotted relationship of skin to skin.... lip to lips, eyes that express...that to me,is the real love.
Best
B.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Nuff said. I couldn't have said it any better then you, Betty. That's why I keep telling my ignorant man bros here that we don't run the world it's women who do. They out smart us by making us believe we do but we know the truth. I mean honestly the truth is out there. The other day I popped open a fortune cookie and it said...behind every great man is a great woman, who makes the idiot believe he's great. Fortune cookies don't lie.

[Neville]

what a lovely title sir and the rest of it aint bad neither .. very muchly enjoyed by me my new literary friend :)

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you, Neville, I really appreciate it. One of the greatest gifts in life one can receive is friendship. And it is also one that we can never get enough of. Those who count you as a friend are very lucky and I know that I too also am appreciative of your friendship. Thank you so much.

[Neville]

then we are both blessed my friend and thank you too :)

[wordman]

worth taking a chance on,love

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

I totally agree my friend. Thanks for reading and commenting I truly appreciate it.

[wordman]

you`re welcome

[John the Baptist]

Well, youth is a time of ardor. The middle years, a time of reflection. Hopefully by the time the frost is on the pumpkin, we will have learned how to put it all in perspective.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you John for your very enlightening perspective which I wholeheartedly agree with. I'm close to those later years feeling the frost with appreciation of the moments that have brought me to this time. I take in the joy of having the opportunities to have ever loved at all. They were pure blessings which brought me closer to understanding my own humanity. Thank you so much again for your words.

[.]

It was a nice read, especially in this time of mailing and deleting... Heart lives only a click away! The time of instant professing and deleting at the spur of a second. But those love letters... They were eternal and carried a beating heart along with it, that a lover could read a gave a soft kiss whenever felt. It is a very romantic thought to carry that letter in a diary along with me, such that I could feel my worth in love.... Thank you for sharing this gorgeous love poem

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you for the kind words and reading this poem. I really appreciate it my friend. Yes things were better in the past because people actually wrote letters send no a days with email it is less personal and meaningful. Thank you again.

[Fran Marie]

Words are nice but actions really
do speak louder by showing the
true connection of love that is
felt like the way this is written
in poetic verse

nice work Carlos

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you, Fran, I really am enjoying the conversation this poem is sparking amongst my peers. As a writer I strive for open dialogue and debate on my work. To gain the insight of others which may otherwise elude me as the creator of the art. To see it in another's perspective. Especially when it comes to the emotional idealism of love, men and women can see its definition so differently. But it's in the hearts of poets that its analogies and belief holds a more striking and passionate exuberance for its symbolism. Within the words of our art we are love.

[Fran Marie]

you're welcome
yes it's always good to
hear another's POV and
how each one varies

[Coyote Poetry]

What we do for love Carlos. I done some tomfoolery in my lifetime. I liked the flow of thoughts and you took the reader on a interesting journey. I believe Donne was right. He wrote. "We don't find love, love will find us." Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

thank you, CP, for reading and leaving your thoughts on this work. Love truly is a lifetime journey that encompasses many aspects of the word itself. I find myself now writing love letters to love itself. Born of the memories of a child from his first love and writing out his heart in a letter sprinkled with lilac perfume belonging to his mom. This evolution astounds me even now. The fact that I'm in my mid 50s contemplating the ideology of love now is a surprise. Life truly is a gift at time taken lightly. Thank you again my friend.

[Coyote Poetry]

I wish I wrote better love letters. You are welcome Carlos.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Most important, show the love, be there for her. I like the idea of performing all those feats for love, but
really they could be as shallow as words...the proof is in the pudding, the proof is in being her rock...
taking the journey together, proof of staying power.
j.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Alex, I will take "Love" for 500 hundred please. Uhhh Alex? Alex...where are you? Who would have thought that this simple question presented would spark intense debate amongst writers. Of course it would, how could I be so ignorant! I'm asking writers of poetry to question the importance of love vs action. Showing vs saying. Of course it will spark debate. That's why I love this art form of writing. Well, now to play devil's advocate, well sort of. When I was 17 yrs old I once had this very strange conversation with a friend of mine who was three years older then I. He once told me "Every woman I have ever #%&$ed I loved. There is no difference between #%$&ing and making love!". Now being as young as I was I had to ponder this radical asinine insane logic. Because of course there is a huge difference between stooping and making love. Frying your hot dog involves no emotional attachments and is simply a satisfaction of a physical urge. While making long passionate enduring endless maddening exclamatory height of ecstasy love involves every fiber and emotion of your very being! So yes there is a difference. His hillbilly logic, yes he was from the Ozarks and not exactly a bastion for intellectual thought but I digress, crumbles and fails to compare these two things in equity. In summation, hiding the salami is incomparable to making love. One is an act devoid of emotion, while the other is filled with emotion and more...love. now stay with me on this because even now I'm trying to figure out how this actually answers the core thesis of the question asked, and at this moment I have no damn answer. So I will simple state, oh wait what's that over your shoulder. Is that a bird!!! (Hastily making my exit from this uncomfortable conversation) I know it's a cowardly act, but I'm the Loki of writers. One should expect no less from me. But somewhere in my analogy is my answer despite its profane wisdom. Thank you, Jacob my friend, sincerely for your thoughts on this work, and for this illuminating conversation I've had with you and myself. Now if I can just find the keys to my car....now that's the most important existential question of the day...where are my keys.