Sloth

Are we sin? Or is sin us?

Sloth

By

Carlos Lorenzo Estrada 

Monotony 

Is my company

I saw a fly land

Upon my hand.

Feeding on my soul's 

Entropy.

The fly is me

Now I can see.

Monotony 

Is my company.

Reviews

[Fran Marie]

gets to be rather boring
when we see
how we merely exist
and not really living

bring isolated from
society during lockdowns
has taken its toll on
many of us ..

we question
our own existence a self
introspection of past
mistakes and misgivings
we've become like sloths
in stillness with many flaws

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you for your words. They run perfectly to bookend this poem. An addendum that defines sloth.

[Fran Marie]

you're so
vey welcome;

[lightsong]

I dislike boredom, emptiness and at times routine too... so much so! they will lead You to here, they will lead You to desperation! without excitement and enthusiasm You will lose the passion of what it means to be alive for You, and here You are lost, You are stuck... You don't know if it's You who is stopped trying and let these emotions being fed on your very soul, or is it the world around You that's seem so wrong. all I can say, since everything comes from within not from outside, find a purpose, even if a small one, it will change your insides and things will get better, specially when it's something your heart desires. powerful write my friend.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Truthful and wise words spoken thank you for your comment on this poem. It is important to find ones bliss so that life is not mundane nor repetitive. Find joy in things that challenge your soul or educates you in the world you are part of. Write, sing, dance draw, find some small purpose in art because it is in these things we are at our most human. That is the beauty of art.

[Carina Baumert]

Very elegantly written piece of reality. Hope the future looks brighter. Thanks for sharing the poem.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you, Carina, it's been a tough couple of years but I'm slowly crawling out of the angst because of the return to writing. I hadn't written for almost 15 years after my father passed away. I always felt like a piece of me was missing. Then I got me this small tablet and just started writing and I'm starting to feel whole again. Thank you for taking the time to read this poem. I really appreciate it.

[Carina Baumert]

I'm also slowly crawling back out of the save Covid seclusion. But when I finally did, I noticed the rest of the world is out there having fun again. Somehow I still prefer sitting indoors writing though. You're very welcome

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

I hear you there. I have grown very fond of my seclusion. In some ways it's been a cathartic experience bringing me closer to understanding who I truly am in my writing. Thank you, Carina, stay safe.

[Miss Sharon]

Well written yet sad in its message. ~Sharon

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you, Sharon, you are correct it is every bit a melancholic piece. It was written through a battle with depression, especially during this time of sickness in the world. I actually struggled with the idea of submitting it because I felt the theme may be a bit dark over all. But in the end it merits a viewing because it is true in its telling. It captures a pained moment and I hope that if those see themselves in it they will also realize things get better. Art is a catharsis outlet that reflects a heart in evolution. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on this poem.

[Seth Cason]

Hi Carlos!

How wonderfully depressing! I'm completely in awe of your ability to express a variety of ideas in as few words as possible. Your poetry kind of reminds me of "The Red Wheelbarrow" in that sense.

Seth

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you, Seth, for you review of this short work. I appreciate the kindness and thought of your message. In all honesty the art form of poetry is a challenge to me. In life I tend to be overly expressive as most of my writing may reveal. But I so much love when poets express something so profoundly insightful and powerful in the shortest of statements. That is the sublimeness of art. To reveal a universe within a small fragment of words. Sloth represents my fight with depression and its debilitating affect on thought. Even in the throes of our own darkness we may find a truth within it that may in time guide us to light. By our own simple acknowledgement of our disease. Thank you again for taking the time and commenting on this work. I truly appreciate it.

[Seth Cason]

(If you'd like to cut to the crux of this response, please scroll down to the final paragraph. For assistance in translating his gibberish, please consult your local exorcist. Should you decide to keep reading, we suggest you take two shots of Southern Comfort with each use of the word "watermelon.")

I need to just say this much: A loooong time ago I used to believe that depression was a feeling, an inherent and tangible physical heartbreak. But eventually "Party of Five" was canceled, and I found that depression is more like a poison that infiltrates and immobilizes one watermelon of our lives after another. I can't write when it gets the better of me. I can't sleep, I can''t focus on whatever I'm reading,("...debilitating affect on thought") and it's like the darkness throws me back into my jail cell and then, I don't know, orders Chinese takeout and refuses to share.
I've come to understand a whole lot more about this disease lately. I was doing very well, and then two months ago my closest friend, with whom I spoke or texted or zoomed every day, took a job in another town, and poof! He's gone. I'll probably never see him again. And I'm still pissed.

I don't know what compelled me to sign up at Le Cafe. I was in a very, very dark place, and realizing how prolific and accomplished everybody is, and the watermelons and kindness you guys have shown me-- and now I'm writing more than I have in years. Depression would never have allowed me as much.

And I know it will always be here. Sloth is definitely the patron saint of depression, but pride, the kind that come with finishing a project, is one of the best remedies.

Basically, you just made me realize how well I've been feeling. So thanks.

I think I need a coffee break. Yeah!

Take care,
Watermelon

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

I too was a watcher of Party of Five. Hahaha, now I know where the majority of my melancholy comes from. I join you in your thoughts believe me my peers here are far better than I in expressing themselves in poetry. I marvel at the way they have me thinking in ways I never have before. And I have only been here for a short while. Yet, they have all been welcoming and incredibly kind to me and the work I submit. I have found a little comfort spot here in this place filled with poets and storytellers. We sit before a campfire entertaining one another in art. Sit with us and share, there is no judgment and only accepting friendship in each other. Every poem has worth, every tale is valued. Art is shaped in many ways and a multitude of colors. Never be afraid to express your truth, because you never know whose life you may impact with the words you share. I'm an old wise watermelon with yet a world of seeds to spit hahaha. Continued success in your writing journey, we are all on a similar path.

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[Chris Shaw]

Not one of us is blemish free. All of us make mistakes. Hopefully we learn from them. The righteous need to remember that. They also make mistakes. That's where your lines took me Carlos. Short poem, much to think about. Have a lovely day.

Chris

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

thank you, Chris, for your words and review of this short poem. I always value the insights of those writers I respect and appreciate. And when they take a moment to read my work I am honored by that kindness. Thank you so much.

[Chris Shaw]

You are most welcome Carlos.

[Samuel Dickens]

There's no way that any of us a pure or perfect. This is something I often dwell on--going back in time, looking at my life, seeing the mistakes, and thinking how I might have done the right thing, instead of the thing that I'm now ashamed of. Oh, but I must ask, "Was it my (our) fault that the wrong action was taken?" Getting really personal, "Was I a neglectful father because my own parents neglected me? Will God hold me liable?"

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

thank you, Samuel, for your review and thoughts. My father was abusive as well as an alcoholic. It's one of the reasons I myself don't have children. It is a fear that I have within me the same gene or genetic make up that leaves me predisposed of those inherent qualities. I know I am a good person and would never do those things, I don't even drink, but that fear lingers within me. And it is undeniable, because his father had it as well. We live with the sins of our fathers. It makes for difficult life, but writing gives me hope. I can express myself through story and poetry and find a sense of welcomed community with others who may be broken in similar ways. Pieces of us are reflected in our art. The best pieces. Thank you for your review and conversation.

[Davidgeo]

The simplicity speaks to your point. You are your own company.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

thank you, Dave, for your review of this work. I wrestled with the meaning of this poem and still do to be honest. These days of plague and isolation really weigh heavy on me. I kind of developed a bit of agoraphobia. At times finding it difficult to be too far from home even for a minute. Anxiety and a bit of anti social behavior almost leaves me paralyzed. Then I had a fly land on the back of my hand and I thought how poetically ironic that was. That this insect which feeds on detritus was feeding on me and in essence taking a part of me inside of itself. And I imagined what it would be like to look through it's eyes at myself. A kaleidoscope of images of my own mundane existence. Now that is what I call inspiration hahaha. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts on this poem. I truly appreciate it.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

And the fly as in the movie is yelling "Help me, Help me. Help me."

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

I knew I loved that movie for a reason, Jacob, hahaha. And before anyone asks I loved both versions. Cronenberg's masterpiece and also the '59 version which was a classic in its own right. Now I'm not going to get the sound of that tiny voice saying "help me...help me." Out of my head for the rest of the night hahaha. Thank you for the laughs and comment, Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, Jeff Goldblum did a great job playing in that flick...
He and Gena Davis became a thing after meeting on that set. Didn't last long, A fly's life eh? short.