Schrodinger's paradox Redux

Another foray into dark satire. You truly never know what you get when you challenge yourself as a storyteller. Hope you all enjoy. Sorry if it offends.

                Schrodinger's paradox Redux

    (Or...Cherry Pop sets the universe straight)

     By

                      Carlos Lorenzo Estrada

                 

                                                                                             1935, Princeton University

    

.     Cherry sat across the professor's ornate oakwood desk.  It was a mid day with the weather being bright and sunny.  He waxed poetically of a new intrinsic idea, a thought experiment which could revolutionize quantum science as they knew it.  The bespectacled thin man was animated in his exuberance, with his hands flailing in the air to paint a picture of the universe invisibly before them.  She was annoyed, occasionally snapping her bubblegum as he spoke with enthusiasm of his discovery. 

    

.     "Oh...my...gawd!  Doesn't he ever shut up?  I mean like really, he's starting to piss me off." She thought to herself blowing a large pink bubble out from her lips.  She ran her fingers through her fusia colored Mohawk, while occasionally scratching the right side of her tight shorn fade of blond.

    

.     "In order to have a more understandable concept of our universe, as it pertains to my friend's theory of relativity I hypothesize that we consider...." Professor Schrodinger's eyes were wide with excitement and the wonder of genius.

    

.     "Blah...blah...blah...blah...freakin, blah.  I would rather watch reruns of grandma's favorite old TV show, The Kardashians, then put up with anymore of this ridiculous s**t." She continued to think while her persistent annoyance began to rise even more.  In moments like this time travel was a b***h.

    

.     "I understand the example I may use might be a bit jarring for some, and inhumane to many, especially to those who hold a fascination and adoration toward the feline species..." The professor continued.

     

.    "Now we're getting somewhere.  Stop, right there!  That's why I'm here, bro."

     

.    "Excuse me?"

     

.    "Why?  Did you fart?" A perplexed scowl matted her face with confusion before she continued.  "It's all good, homie, it's beside the point.  You need to listen....really good."  She placed her hands on the edge of the desk leaning forward for dramatic effect.  "Ok wait for it....wait for it...now listen." And in a hush tone she said. "I'm from the future.  Just like that guy in the movie with that pimped out pinto that could travel in time.  You know the one...oh wait...I think it was a Ferrari.  Eh...doesn't matter.  Anyway I'm from like 2000 who the hell cares, because it's like super far ahead, know what I'm saying, right bro?"

     

     "I didn't catch your name, Ms..."

     

.    "It's because I didn't give it.  You literally didn't give me time.  You just started rambling on about space crap, time flow, and something about tweezing pubic hair."

     

     "I said no such thing, young lady, as a matter of fact..."

     

.    "Chill, Chester, I'm just teasing you.  Making sure you're listening to me, it's something we peeps in the future call sarcasm.  You might want to loosen up on the humor side and be less like, I don't know, robotic."

     

.    "If you are from the future then how am I to trust what you are saying is true?" He cocked a inquisitive eyebrow toward Cherry.

    

.     "Damn, you sure have a point there, Einstein."

     "

     It's Schrodinger..."

    

.     "Omg, whatever." Her exasperation was starting to rise. "Look at me, bro, do I look like a teenager from the 30s?"

    

.     "You do have a point there, young lady."

    

.     "I know, right?" She eyed him suspiciously before continuing. "Anyway, I am here for one very important earth shattering reason, so listen up, dude.  And partake of the wisdom of Cherry Pop, because I know what I'm talking about.  And what you decide to do with the info after I tell you can have a profound change on the way we see science in the future.  It can either destroy it, or change it for the better.  Now with that being said I just want to make a personal observation as a time traveler, just my two cents.  I know of some a******s that go back in time to meet Jesus and end up highly disappointed because they find out he isn't white nor speaks in old English Bible verses.  And I know idiots who choose to go back to kill Hitler only to discover they created a monster just as worse.  People can't leave s**t alone, you know what I'm saying, bro?"

     

.    Schrodinger was deeply moved by her insightful wisdom.  It spoke to him on an intellectual level despite its crass and simplistic language.  He nodded in agreement with her.

    

.     "Kay...listen up.  This theory of yours has a significant and vital flaw in it.  It's small but very important to those in the future.  Especially, us cat lovers.  Because cats will have a very important part in the continued existence of human beings.  So, if I were you I would lay off the freakin cat hate, you know what I'm saying.  Make it a chihuahua.  No one likes them anyway, they're like shaved rats and just as mean.  Or maybe even squirrels.  Put them in your hypothetical box.  Just leave the damn cats alone, we have enough hate as it is in the future we don't need to piss off kittens too.  So please do us a huge fave and tweak your thought experiment, and we in the future will salute you."

    

      "I apologize, I had no idea my hypothesis would have such lethal consequences for humanity."

     

     "No prob, bro.  That's what Cherry Pop is here to do. Pop your mind cherry and set you back on the right path.  Now I gotta go and pay a visit to the inventor of the tampon."   And with that said she was gone. 

    

      In this day and age time travel cost a pretty penny.  Cherry Pop smiled in amusement and thought to herself it was the best 200 million in crypto currency she had ever spent.  So worth it.  Meow.

    

    

         

Author's Note

Author's note: when writing a story I tend to hear the voices of the characters when they speak. I want the reader to imagine the voice of Cherry Pop with a thick Irish accent of a 14 year old girl. Then you will have a firmer grasp just how ridiculously funny the dialogue actually sounds in this tale. Thank you and enjoy...

Reviews

[mattavelli]

Hello, Carlos! :)
I think its beautiful. "lay off the freakin cat hate" haha
I didn't read an Irish accent, but the irony here is great.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you, Matt, for this kind review. I really enjoyed writing this story. It was a total blast. Cherry is a strong youthful empowered female character. And her mannerisms in speech are very retro in comparison to her time line. Kind of like a cross of "Valley Girl" and "Cheech and Chong" movies, along with Paulie Shore "Bro"-isms. As if she grew up in Southern California in the 80s and 90s. Or ingested too much media of those times while living far across the sea. It added to the strangeness and uniqueness of her personality. If I would have met a girl from Ireland speaking like this back when I was in high school I would have fallen for her immediately. Her voice shocked me while it was playing out on my tablet in story form. Imagine a Billie Eilish with a fusia Mohawk and a thick Irish accent. And I loved the irony of the story as well. If I was able to make just one person giggle while reading this tale then it was so worth the time writing it. Thank you again.

[Dave Brown]

overall very entertaining with a believable sci-fi scenario
Ebjoyable except for the cat thingy
Cat's kill birds, chihuahuas do not, cats shred furniture, chihuahuas do not, cats at night, on a fence, highlighted by the backdrop of a full moon, represent witches, brooms and the occult,
and chihuahuas, of course, do not!
Please reconsider the cat thingy, although, my son had an absolutely beautiful, pure black beast, and kittens are definitely very, very cute.
Difficult call

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you for the review, Dave, and kind words. You make a very compelling argument for dogs. I promise I will try to explain this to, Cherry, unfortunately she is stubbornly and unrepentantly a cat lover. It's a very difficult call for me though as I remain neutral on the subject due to the fact of being bitten on the face by a Chihuahua at age 13. The wounds I bear are deep emotionally despite healing those many years back. I do admit without shame I do scream like a 14 yr old girl when a Chihuahua starts barking at me to this day. I fear no other dog, simply the tiniest of the species. I didn't expect to say this out loud quite honestly and find it a bit cathartic. Hahaha. Thank you again for the kind review and the laughs.

[Lorry]

I bet the Hitler killing line at time travels terminus makes the queue at Disney look short!
Enjoyed the style of this, not sure if it has a name but flippantly funny is how I'm indexing it in my head.
After Cherry Pop sorts out the tampon terror, she should go back and see if Pavlov will chase her.
Future is will have a lot of explaining to do regarding animal treatment. Can just picture that the cows might have something to say to future us too, somewhere along the lines of "We were transport man! And you ate us! 😊
10 meows outta 10 😊

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Thank you so much for your hilarious review. I couldn't stop laughing reading it. I totally agree with everything you said. The possibilities are endless with the amount of chaos she could cause and get herself into. And that's not even the half of it. She has an identical twin named Lemon Pop, and a scummy boyfriend whose cheating on her with her sister. And to qoute Cherry "O...M...G....that Pavlov idea sounds funny as hell." Poor cows, it's an utter disgrace how they are treated by humans hehehe. Utter. Thanks again for the review and the laughs too, Lorry.

[emmajoy]

BRILLIANT! Read your story once, quickly... then, read it and slowly/.. even managed the Irish accent tho' lapsed into Scots brogue now and again. Anyway...

The dialogue, especially Cherry Pop' is wonderful and the slow uptake of the other near enough becomes her straight man! Content flew fascinatingly plausible - more than. Other references added this and that very cleverly. As for her next call .. what to say on that... differe nt?!

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

thank you for this kind and spot on review of this story. I really am not accustomed to humor or irony. I so admire people who have the gift of comedy. Though I truly took it as a challenge to work out of my comfort zone, and write something totally out of character. It's great as a storyteller to challenge oneself and see what one can create from it. Cherry Pop was a combo of Saoirse Ronan, and a teenage version of Charlize Theron with attitude to spare. She's crass, hard-core, but with a heart of gold. And my first sci-fi tale here at the site. I'm touching all bases as I go along. Got a good horror story, a fantasy war tale, a spiritual story and some poems. I really enjoy dialogue writing, because it adds dimension to a character. But not being female or a teenager it was a bit difficult and challenging to get her perspective down right. Above all else I want to be true to the character as how I hear them in my head when they tell me their story. She was quirky, funny, and a joy to write for. What more can anyone ask for but to write about a time traveling teenage girl that doesn't take crap from no one and lives life on her terms. There is so much trouble she can get into, and take me along for the ride. Like if I really had much of a choice otherwise. Thank you so much for your awesome review. Cherry Pop sends her regards. Hahaha

[emmajoy]

I loved it.. have told three friends, Will read more when I can, owe so many reviews. Take care, keep safe. smile.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

You too and again thank you so much.