Chapter 14

I took Darren back to his room and then went to get him something to drink because he was coughing, which was making the shaking worse. “Is he okay?” Nora asked as I re-entered the cafeteria.

 

“He's upset,” I made a cup of coffee and grabbed my own, “The other guardians were killed right in front of him.

“I should go talk to him,” Eva said seriously, “I want to help.”

“No, you shouldn't,” Nora grabbed her arm, “Where Darren is upset, he becomes unstable.”

“You mean drunk,” I looked at her.

“When mom and dad tried to contact us about four years ago,” she bit her lip, “He threw things, burned the letter, but the worst part was having Kelley over for a solid week.”

“He won't do that to me or Eva,” I told her.

“I should go be with him, he just needs to deal with this without temptations,” she insisted.

 

“Nora, I have to go help him I'll be careful,” I promised her, “You can come soon, but you have to eat a full meal and wash up a little you're looking like a wild woman.”

“Are you sure?” she asked uncertainly.

“I can handle your brother,” I said then headed back to the room. I found Dare sitting on the bed completely silent. I closed the door loudly, but he didn't look up. “I brought some coffee,” I noticed his hands weren't shaking anymore, “Do you need anything?”

 

“I should have stayed and fought,” he grabbed the coffee cups and slammed them down onto the coffee table.

“It was a risky mission, you never should have been on it none of you should have been,” I knelt down in front of him, “But you did the best you could, I know you did.”

“The youngest guardian was fourteen, Garnet,” he cleared his throat, “You don't think he should have come back and told everyone.”

 

“I think the boy should have, yes,” he muttered.

“You are such a hypocrite,” I shook my head.

“No, I am not,” he snapped.

“You are though,” I got up again, “I have lost people too, Darren, but you told me to keep on living and that their deaths weren't my fault.”

“Seeing visions is not the same thing as seeing it in person,” he replied coldly.

“You're right, it's worse I can see it coming weeks ahead of time and I try to alter the situation so no one gets hurt, but the same fate comes sometimes,” I yelled at him, “Sometimes you cannot change things, you just have to understand that you cannot control everything.”

 

“I could control this, they asked me to join them and I said no so they massacred my team,” he knocked a glass off the table.

“You think things would have gone differently if you betrayed us,” I demanded, “You're not thinking right, Darren break things and cry, but if you want to avenge them then you cannot do it wallowing in self pity in your room, you have to keep fighting.”

“I am not wallowing,” he snarled.

“You are, I understand you're upset, but there are people here who care about you and we cannot lose you to grief.”

“That's selfish,” he commented.

“I know it is, but it's true,” I answered, “So get up, change and if you need to, I'll lock the door while you let go of some of your rage.”

 

“Do you pity me?” he asked quietly.

“Of course I don't,” I rolled my eyes. He looked up at me for a long moment and his eyes were shadowed. “Dare, don't hide away,” I told him then without warning his lips were on mine and I was slammed back into the wall. His lips were angry and greedy, but I couldn't kiss him back right now.

“Maya,” he whispered, “I want you, just you.”

 

“Dare,” I said then his lips were back on mine. My lips responded then he growled and began kissing down my jawline. Kisses on my neck then my collar bone, I had never been like this with Darren. There was that one time over a month ago in the bunker, but I had no real feelings for him then. He grabbed my legs and wrapped him around his waist. “We should stop,” I kissed his head then he put his hands under my shirt, “Darren.”

“It's okay,” he ran his hands up and pulled my shirt over my head.

“I can't,” I insisted then he lifted me away from the wall and onto the bed. He pulled his shirt off and kissed me again with the same hunger.

“So beautiful,” he said in between kisses, “I'll be gentle.”

“Darren, this isn't like you, you said you would wait,” I reminded him.

“I need you,” he kissed my neck again.

“Please,” I tried to get up.

“I can't,” he pinned me down and my eyes widened in shock, “I don't want to feel; I can't.”

“Dare, it's me,” I said struggling as he slid my pants down, “Stop it now, you cannot react like a man w***e every time you have a problem, what about Nora?”

“I just want...” he smashed his lips into mine again and I felt tears start to run down my face. For the first time, I was afraid of Darren, but somehow this was not the Darren I knew. I felt exposed too, I hadn't been this scant of clothing in front of a guy since I was a baby. “May,” he suddenly stopped and pulled away to look at my face, “Maya, I shouldn't have.”

 

“Darren, can you please get off of me?” I felt more tears in my eyes and he got to his feet.

“Damn it,” he threw the clock at the wall smashing it to pieces, “Why do I have to be such an idiot?”

“Nothing actually happened,” I pulled my pants all the way back up.

“I have no control,” he sat on the edge of the bed, “I never want to risk doing that again, Maya I am so sorry I hurt you.”

“You just need to learn how normal people react to pain,” I couldn't see my shirt so I tucked myself into the bed pulling the cover over my head.

 

“I won't ever do that again, I realize I probably disgust you now,” he said sadly, “That's who I used to be and it's only more shameful now that you've seen it.”

“I knew you'd been with other girls,” I said, “It just didn't feel meaningful to you or me and I don't want it to be like that.”

“Neither do I,” he sat closer, “I know I went too far, but I knew you'd hate me forever if I finished and I couldn't force that on you.”

“Thank you for stopping,” I looked at him over the covers, “I won't have sex with you, Darren, but I think you still need someone with you for the next few hours.”

 

“What are you suggesting?” he questioned.

“Well I am crying and you need to cry, I think we should do it in private, don't you think,” I suggested.

“Here's your shirt,” he offered it to me.

“Thanks,” I grabbed it then tossed him his. He climbed into the bed and wrapped his arms around me before I could put my shirt back on. I did not mind this, I laid my head against chest and let a few tears fall. He didn't make a sound, but I felt his wet tears against my hair. I wrapped my arms around him when he started to shake again. Eventually we both fell asleep then I was woken by the sound of the door opening.

 

“Darren, I heard you were looking for a one-night stand,” Kelley came walking in and I realized Darren wasn't in bed anymore. Kelley saw me and she smirked. “I see he already found one,” she remarked, “How many times did he have you?”

“Kelley, get out,” Darren came back with his hair soaking wet.

“She's in what some would call a bra, Darren; you really couldn't resist. could you?” Kelley laughed, “I hope you're done with her now.”

“Kelley, go away I don't want to see you around me or my girlfriend anymore,” Darren snapped, “And don't start threatening me because it won't work this time.”

“You'll regret this,” she looked at me then smiled again, “Enjoy the s**t, but we've already got one pregnant teenage freak.”

 

“You're staying with freaks, Kelley get over it,” I replied sharply. She left and I put on my shirt and climbed out of the bed. “She is not going to forgive that easily,” I ran a nervous hand through my hair.

“I don't care about her reaction or her opinion anymore,” Darren said, “There is a workout room from when this was a functional station, fighting seems to make both of us calmer.”

“I cannot argue with that logic,” I kissed him then headed for the door, “I'll send Nora to keep an eye on you.”

 

“Behave,” he warned then I decided to go outside. I got out there and there was quiet, no one was out here right now. All of the guardians were returning and getting charged up to fight again. I laid down in the snow and looked up at the clouds as snowflakes landed on my eyelashes and melted to fall like tears down on cheek. I closed my eyes and I saw my parents. My mother's auburn hair done up in a bun because she had refused to cut it all off. My father with all of his harsh sayings, but a kind face with very few wrinkles around his blue eyes and his blonde hair was paler than mine was now. I looked more like him than my mom, she said I had her face structure and wide eyes.

 

My brother looked a lot like her, his eyes were closer to green, her eye colour and his hair was darker than mine. I never took after either of my parents in personality traits. They always found my writing and constant bickering with Cass as a sign of what I now know were the medications. “Are you thinking about your parents?” Nora sat down in the snow next to me.

 

“You are supposed to be babysitting,” I reminded her.

“He's more stable now so I left Eva in charge,” she said, “So were you?”

“I think about them a lot,” I sat up, “Do you think about yours?”

“I was little when they left, but I do remember certain things,” she told me, “My mother's long dark hair, something me and Darren both got and my dad had these bright blue eyes like stars.”

“Darren's hair always has been unruly, how did you two survive military training with that hair?” I questioned.

“We just yelled and complained until we got our way,” she shrugged, “I heard that your father cut all of your hair off when you were young, unless it was a different Garnet.”

 

“No, I was four and starting training,” I laughed, “He was so sick of me playing with my hair and not focusing that he cut it up to my ears.”

“Sounds mean,” she said.

“He was not a cruel man, Nora in fact he refused to kill anyone. He did love me and my brother he would always come home from a mission and wake us up so we knew he was back.”

“What was your mom like? Our mom wasn't military,” she inquired.

 

“She was strict, a lot of chores, but she would always get excited when I was an inch taller because it was one step closer to being old enough she could gossip with me,” I smiled, “She was a real busy body for a military 'professional'.”

“How did Cass turn out like he did then?” she asked.

“Cass didn't respect my father as much as other father figures in his life and he sided with the people he thought would make him the toughest,” I sighed, “It's ridiculous, but sometimes I miss having a sibling.”

“You've got me,” she nudged me.

“That's true,” I rolled to face her, “I may have to abduct you from Darren and declare you as my sister.”

“You won't need to kidnap me,” she laughed then said quietly, “Darren has never stopped from doing something like that before Maya, you make him stronger and I can't thank you enough.”

 

“You make him stronger too, sweetheart,” I informed her.

“I don't see it,” she replied.

“You will,” I said, “Come on, I am freezing let's go inside.” She agreed and we hurried back into the warmth.

Author's Note

let me know what you think.