sometimes

sometimes, sometimes

sometimes, my father says 

with a proud smile on his face, 

"you're getting better!"

sometimes, my mother smiles

as she watches me mingle

with people i actually hate 

but pretend to like 

for my mother's sake.

sometimes, my therapist nods

with much enthusiasm 

at the things i did 

which i usually don't do

like get up from bed.

sometimes, my so-called friends ignore

me and carry on with their lives

and they do not realise i am asking 

for some help or recognition.

sometimes, i write down a letter

in my head with the last words being:

"after all that, i'm still sorry."