-Orginal Sin-

Me Philosophy.

I'd echoed tenfold of man's first disobedience and devour the fruits of that forbidden tree whose mortal taste begot death into our world. Adieu Eden nevermore regained, what shall immortality harvest men if never to touch, taste, to smell the scent of a woman. I'd echoed tenfold of man's first disobedience to be with you woman.

Reviews

[Shell]

Great poignancy to this piece. You write with an old style.

Truly, what is the point of living if we follow all the rules? Why paradise, if we are too innocent? You can't appreciate the wonder, beauty, and joy, without a good measure of the pain, despair, and darkness. Knowledge let's you understand so much more.

We women are so worth it right? ;)

[blonde girl]

i agree- beautiful word choice!
you create great imagery-
well done!

~angela

[Lena M. P.]

Never thought of the original sin in quite that way. Thought provoking. I've always felt that a relationship is only worth the trouble if it is passionate. There needs to be heat, love and differences. Adam realized that without Eve there would be no Eden. We must take the good with the bad.

[KD Douglas]

Very powerful.
I can feel the passion.

[Nancy]

Good use of old english. Nice message. Keep it up

Nancy

[Clockwork]

A good one at that...well written. It might do better in small stanzas but I enjoy your words.

[Melon Choly]

The downfall of a man, may be a woman....but the undoing of a woman, is certainly a man :)

[Guardian]

Beautiful word choice. Short but effective use of words. You didn't use fillers. Every word counted. I liked it a lot.

[Texas]

Like the title says, Original Sin.

[The Viking]

Word choice is beautiful - very shakespearean. This reminded me immediately, of course, of the opening to Paradise Lost by John Milton, which I have a feeling this little poem was derived from if not at least inspired. It's interesting, also, to show it from Adam's perspective as he watched his wife take that fruit he himself knew better than to eat, yet decided to sacrifice eternity to be with her in flesh. Thought provoking. I love this style too. The poem is a little on the short side, however. This one you could do a lot more with.

[Rush]

Very Good! Short but Powerful!!
Love and Light
Sandra