Random Freestyle

Quit now cause you’re way behind, I am your employer, your résumé denied. Like Potatoes at McDonald's you're gonna get fried

My ability to rhyme is like Ray Allen’s jumper

Smooth, consistent, practiced, and quick

Closest you’ll get to stardom is if you suck my dick

 

Your flow wouldn't be called sick in a nursing home

It’s like trying to play basketball but being a Gnome

You lack the capacity to succeed and thrive

Everything you say is just one big nose dive

Newton discovered gravity when he saw you drop

You’re the weed in society’s plentiful crop

You’re throwing raw spaghetti at all the walls

And each time it hits it always falls.

Like the stalker hoping each time he calls

The result will not be humiliating failure

You’ve got no compass but tryin’ to be a sailor

 

Everything you say I’m gonna knock

It is like your have permanent writer’s block

Your lack of creative wit and skill

Worse than someone a 100 years over the hill

 

 Get off the stage, get back in line

Stand in the crowd, or Just get the f**k out

you’re as out of place as human in space

Vanilla ice? You’re a bigger disgrace

When that girl heard you and yelled, “ Is that Mase!?”

It wasn’t the rapper but mace for your face.

Anything to just end your lyrical disgrace.

 

You say you’re just like MJ, in the NBA

Please son, you’d get beat by Fannie May.

You claim to f**k women like a relentless beast

You have gotten less than my Catholic Priest.

 

I am here to let you know, I am the pro

I kill your rhymes like the sun melts snow

 

Hang with me? Not a chance.

You're less legit than MC Hammer's dance

You’re as out of style as parachute pants

I am the mower and you are the grass

Put away that miracle grow, it won’t work

The idea of you succeeding is simply berserk

 

This is not a dream, your arm, don’t need to pinch

you will not wake up all safe in your bed

I drive you off a bridge and leave you for dead

Just like Mary Jo and Kennedy, Ted.

Can you even understand what I just said?

 

You are Navidad except without the ‘feliz’

Please stop talking or I’ll call the police

When the cops come you can resist arrest

But my words lock you down like Ron Artest

Everything you say is repulsive like incest

It’s over, I win, you cannot protest

You’re guilty of being the absolute worst

And I am guilty of building your lyrical hearse

 

 

 

Author's Note

Hahaha I am not sure what to think about this....I just know it was a lot of fun to write

Reviews

[clauds294]

"Everything you say I’m gonna knock
It is like your have permanent writer’s block"
That was such an awesome line!! Congrats! You made a wonderful, inspirational and totally kick-a*s poem! :P

[Ashbug:)]

whoa man this was good!!! it was just so cool, i liked "you claim to f**k women like a relentless beast, you have gotten less than my catholic priest" haha friken awesome! lol great job and it really flows well, i liked readin this a lots!

[Ruth]

Wow!
"And I am guilty of building your lyrical hearse"................Excellent line!
This could actually work as a rap song! Awesome!
Contradictions abound
Irony
Humour
Intensity
Just so cool! lol
xx

[Iota]

It's a great slam piece would really like to hear over reading it, you could really perform this one to the hilts. I think it is wonder and loved reading it, with the flow rhyme and slams its a master piece.

[Sasha]

Couldn't even wait for the poem to start before you started talking trash, hm? You had to get it poppin' in your description. Lol.

Anywho, this is good. I never knew you had any game - nevermind rap game. :P
I liked the truth in your first stanza. Robbie Williams said it best in Rock DJ: "Give no head, no backstage passes." I enjoy trying to get famous when I can.

It's just... how can you go from saying "Suck my dick!" to "...weed in society's plentiful crop."? (I liked that line, btw.) The change in tone was definitely amusing.

Some of your lines were just plain cheesy. I won't point them out, I think you know which. A few lines were worth tweaking. "It's like you have permanent writer's block" being a prime example.

Then again, some of your lines were awesome. "sick in a nursing home," "human in space,"
"I am here to let you know, I am the pro
I kill your rhymes like the sun melts snow"
That's just sexy. THAT is where I got on my knees and worshipped you... whiletryingforfameagain.
"You are Navidad except without the ‘feliz’
Please stop talking or I’ll call the police"
I tried a little harder for fame here.

I'm surprised at you, Jack. I hope to see more fun pieces like this from you.

[zdzd]

I love it! It flowed wonderfully, had an entertaining theme, and was all out "awesome".

Keep up the good work, because poetry and rapping is where your skills are at!

[Tai Chi Italy Take Two]

lol love it, and what a glorious way to send a rapper off Jack...you nailed him in damned hard. The references are clever and hard hitting too.

Smiling at you

Tai

[Elizabeth]

Love the illusion to basketball... "I am here to let you know, I am the pro

I kill your rhymes like the sun melts snow" BAD A*S.

"I drive you off a bridge and leave you for dead

Just like Mary Jo and Kennedy, Ted.

Can you even understand what I just said?" Hell yeah.

and the last line: "You’re guilty of being the absolute worst

And I am guilty of building your lyrical hearse" was sweet.

I loved every word, your contempt just boils right off the page.

Outstanding!! Loved, loved, loved this.