The Prince of Dallas

This is the second short story I wrote and the Prince is a character I like writing, it a simple story of good verses evil.

The Prince of Dallas

 

 

The reporter powered the video camera focusing on a tall man standing with white hair with pale gray roots, a squared face, black eyes; he appear like a man but from the nose, lips and chin are very feminine. His suit expenses tailor made black, holding a compact mirror staring at his face kissing the reflection, “It ought to be a crime to look this good,” Spoke the man.

“Ok I’m ready,” announces the reporter, “What is your name or what do they call you?”

“I am the Prince of Dallas, over 6 millions souls are subject to me, they follow the natural order of things and I control them. They live by lust, pride, selfishness and they all operate out of fear, they speak what I want them to say and they think what I say to think. I tell them to go to the right or left and they obey, I have the power over all of them, I’m a god,” he laughs, “but there is a small minorities that do not follow the natural order of things, the troublemakers. They live by Faith and believe in the promises of their God and want to spread their message into my kingdom and I will not let that happen.” His face ridged glaring at the reporter, “Come I will show you how I deal with them,” marching to the corner of the street, the reporter trying to keep up, the prince hop into firer red convertible sports car. The reporter barley seated as it squeals off into the darkness of the city streets.

At the edge of a small run down convenience store, a car parked on the street conceal by the darkness, two men sitting plotting to rob the store. They accepted the evil thoughts weeks ago the driver Joe and his partner KC plan it for tonight. Inside the store, sit an old man listening to the radio, behind the counter dosing off waiting to shut down the store. The two men step out of the vehicle made sure there guns ready, walking up to the store calmly, the men rush in flashing their weapons, KC position him self front of the counter shouting.

“Hey! Move you’re dead!”

The old man startles held his hands up, “Don’t hurt me,” said the old clerk in broken English. Joe flew around the counter placing his gun in the old man ear.

“Open it now!” shouted Joe, the old man stretch out his frighten hand open the cash register KC grab the cash, Joe pointed the gun at the safe, “Open that,” the old clerk shaking his head no.

“I don’t know, my son change it.”

“Open it or I’m going to blow your brains all over this store!” shouted Joe; the old man kept shaking his head no, trembling with fear.

BOOM,
BOOM,
BANG!

The noise startle KC accidentally discharges his gun the bullet hit the chest of the old man, the thieves ran out the store stealing a few dollars. The old man drops to the floor as the Prince step up to view him bleeding.

“I like it when a plan comes together, don’t die yet old man I want my prize to see you alive for the last time,” said the Prince, at that time a customer arrive into the store wave at the counter assuming the old man sitting there because he’s focus on the cooler. The customer grabs a cold beer can walk up to the counter.

“Hey Pops, where you at,” looking around he saw him on the floor with his shirt soak in blood, “Oh Jesus!” he flew behind the counter to help the clerk as he called for help, the Prince smile.

Within minutes police cars and ambulances were at the convenience store with their red, white and blue light flashing. A small crowd of people gathers at parking lot visible shaken about the shooting, some are crying and others angry because he has worked in the neighborhood for a long time and everybody knew him as Pops. at that moment a car drove up quickly to the parking lot a young man leap out, Zack the old man son, searching for his father. He spots him on a stretcher to be loaded in the ambulance by paramedics.

“Dad,” called Zack as he touches his father, he hop into the ambulance with him as they drove off to the hospital. Zack is holding his father hand crying the Prince sitting next to him.

“Its your fault,” said the Prince, “You was suppose to work tonight, but noooooo you wanted to go to church, well look what you have done.”

“I’m sorry dad, I’m sorry,”

“You’re where my best goat then you turn in to a sheep pushing all of my demons out, but before the night is over you will be my goat once again.” he turn to the reporter. “I like saying this part,” he clear his throat to use a deep tone voice, “Where is your God now,” staring at Zack smirking.

The ambulance arrives at the hospital they rush Zack father into surgery Zack pacing in the waiting room because he could not sit. The Prince sat at the far end of the room watching Zack as if he an exotic dancer, other family members and friends with sad faces and worries speeches came into the room hugging Zack, but the Prince kept his eyes of his prize. Suddenly he felt a strong presence entering the waiting room he leap to his feet turning to see a mature blond hair woman, her face calm, confidence and peaceful.

“Amy,” said the Prince frowning, looking at the reporter, “That is a troublemaker,” the Prince gave Amy a wide berth as he kept his eyes on both of them, the reporter focus the camera on Amy as she walk toward Zack giving him a hug holding his hand. Demons from all over the hospital appear in the waiting room thin, baldheads with big black eyes and their mouth is even bigger with lifeless gray skin. All the demons in the hospital where stir up by the presence of Amy, they feared her because she had the power to cast them to the pit, but they were excited that the Prince was there. Knowing a fight is going down tonight so they gather in the waiting room to watch.

“FIGHT,”
“FIGHT,”
“FIGHT,”

Demons cheering, clapping and stomping for there champion, he dancing, jumping, chest bumping and hi-fiving demons getting pump for the battle.

“You are going down, Amy,” yell the prince pointed at her, “He’s mine, I will have him back you and your God is not going to win this time.” demons heard the Prince they cheered the louder, one of them grab a microphone quieted the crowd.

“In this corner standing tall and very good looking the PRINCE OF DAAAAAAAALLAS!” the crowd cheered, “In the other corner, Amy the woman of God, We are here to witness a battle for the soul of man in this winner takes all match, so LETS GET READY TO RUUUUUMMMMMBLEEEEEE!” All of demons celebrated throwing confetti and holding up banners making lots of noise.

“Praise the Lord,” said Amy as she look at Zack, he just nodded yes with tears in his eyes, “Zack, I said Praise the Lord.”

“I don’t know Amy, my heart is heavy, I feel it my fault that my dad is in there dying. I don’t know what to do, I guessed I’m getting punish because of my past sins,” moan Zack

“God love you, and he wants the best for you, what happen to your dad tonight is not your fault or your dad fault and God did not cause this to punish you this is an attack of the devil. But God is the answer to every problem, I believe He is with every doctor and nurses in that operating room and his angel is with your father and I expect a miracle tonight.”

“I want to believe that, but it’s the waiting and I can’t stop worrying.”

“I know Zack that why I’m here to help you use your Faith to trust God we are going into his Presence, we are going to Praise his name, speak in tongues, sing songs and quote his Word all night,” Zack agreed with Amy so they started.

“Praise the Lord”
“Glory to God”
“You are a good God”

Now the Prince attacking Zack mind. “What are you doing everybody can see you, you are not at church you can’t praise the Lord here.”

Zack and Amy continue there praise.

“Look, your aunt Kitty her heart is broken that her brother on that operating table, he is the last of her sibling when he dies she will be all alone. Look at her crying, you need to go to her and mourn with her.”

Zack and Amy started to sing praise song aloud so everybody can hear.

“Your cousins can see you, they assume that you where crazy now they now you have totally lost it, you flip your lid I bet they wondering if they need to put you in the psych ward.”

Amy and Zack singing started marching around the waiting room.

“Now you are looking foolish, your friends and coworkers are here seeing you act like the biggest fool in Dallas, they had respect for you now they know you are stupid.”

Then they began to speak in tongues, the unknown language causing demons to leave due the pain. Confuse running bumping into each other as they lose all sense of direction. At that moment Zack ex-wife, Judy, arrive into the waiting room driving for an hour from her parent’s house when she heard that Pops was hurt. When she was married to Zack, his dad treated her like his beloved daughter.

“Look your wife is here,” called out the Prince, Zack stop when he saw her, she concern and curious of what he doing, “She left you because you were selfish, mean and uncaring now she see you having a party in the waiting room while your dad is dying. She won’t take you back now if you don’t stop acting like a fool.”

Zack hug her, and then continue praising God, singing songs of praise and speaking in tongues. Afterward the doctor stood at the doors that lead to operating rooms Zack saw him, walking towards him staring at his face to gauge what he might say.

“How my dad?” ask Zack, he felt a soft hand slip into his hand, its Judy beside him. Amy on the other side of Zack waiting to hear what the doctor have to say, the Prince position next to the physician looking at Zack, Judy and Amy because he love seeing the reaction when the doctor give the bad news. The Prince knows by experience what the physician is going to say.

“He is ok for now we still need to watch him closely for the next 24 hours, we thought we’re going to lose him but someone upstairs must like him.” Announce the Doctor

Zack overjoyed hugging Judy, Amy raised her hands shouted for victory and everybody else spirits were lifted, but the shock anger the Prince.   Bursting through the doors to view the old man, “You suppose to die, I had that bullet in the right spot, you lost too much blood to be still living,” irritated so he search for the surgeon finding him washing up talking to a nurse.

“You know I ask the Lord to guide my hands tonight…,” the surgeon speaking, the Prince staring intensely move in close to sniff the surgeon smelling a horrible stench.

“You reek of Grace and Faith,” scream the Prince backing up against the wall. “I heard of this and I saw the video but I didn’t know that we have true-believer doctors in Dallas, that not right.” Turning away from the surgeon his eyes fell on Zack with his father Amy praying for him. “Ok I was just taking it easy on you, Zack, I was trying to let you come to me,” angrily said the Prince, “Now I’m personally going to possess you and there will be twice many demons in your soul and you will be my goat forever.” The Prince charges the room running faster and faster growling diving into the room letting out a great roar.

The reporter running behind him suddenly stop to see a horrify site as the body of the victim top half twist one way and the lower half twist the other way, one leg was bend in three different direction the reporter was amaze that the bones didn’t break.  Snap, crackle and pop of that leg breaking, he can see and hear huge body punches ripping and pulling of hair. The reporter wanted to turn away but felt compelled to keep looking as the victim made terrifying screams.

The Prince crawling out of the room, the arm he using to crawl its hand bent in an unnatural position with all the finger pull out of joint the other hand was holding his side. One leg is pushing off dragging the other that where broken in three places with the foot in a constant twitching.  Bruises all over his face and body, his clothing shredded, large patches of hair rip off. Demons gather gawking at this horrible mess shaking their head making comments.

“Didn’t he know there was a Blood line in there?”
“You’re not supposed to cross a Blood line, everybody knows that.”
“I guest he didn’t see it.”
“Oh but he felt it,”

The demons knew the fight was over so they left. The Prince cough, the type of cough that you would think he was about spit out an organ. He pushes and limps to the nurses’ station collapsing making a whimpering sound. Inside a nurse complaining to another co-worker about her husband, his kids, her crazy boss, she cannot lose weight and those stupid doctors.

The Prince of Dallas standing suit clean and his hair is all in place feeding off the negative energy. He pulls out a cigarette, no filter, started to smoke it, the reporter pointed his attention to a no ‘smoking sign’.

“So,” said the Prince as he proceeded to make smoke rings.

“Prince what happen?” asks the reporter, “Why didn’t the old man die, why couldn’t you stop Amy the woman God and is Zack a troublemaker now?”

“You win some, you lose some,” he flick the cigarette on the floor straiten his tie, “I will fight them another day because I don’t give up because that my job, I am THE PRINCE OF DALLAS.” Then he turns and power walk down the hall and the reporter knew the interview was over so power down the video camera

Fade to Black.

Reviews

[paparapapa]

It was quite lengthy for me making it hard to focus on the story. Also, I agree with Bella, you still have some editing to do to make it easy for the readers to read it. However, overall, I liked the subject of this story. How good and evil fought to dominate one's mind. I think you showed it well. Another thing that was interesting was that you narrated the story in the evil's point of view. Normally, stories would go for what the good one thinks. This makes this story kind of unique. But I still think you can shorten it a bit. Just my opinion though. Anyway, really interesting story. Great write.

[The Winter Grey]

Others have mentioned grammar and editing and the like, so I won't readdress any of that. I will note however that it was cleaner near the beginning and the end than it was in the middle in terms of polish. Anyway, this is an intriguing story, one that could have been very "been there, done that," but there was something surprisingly fresh about your take on the story. The Prince Of Dallas himself is a memorable character, and as I read I couldn't help but picture Satan portrayed as this egotist, kissing his reflection and flaunting his own "superiority." Also, the part where he crossed the "Bloodline" was jarringly effective. So, yes, some cleanup would be awesome, but the root of the story itself and the boldness with which it was told made it worth the read.

[SwagMaster]

I liked it, but it had a lot of grammar, punctuation, and spelling mistakes, making it hard to understand.
Great story, though.

[Lonnie Paul Johnson]

My hope that the readers enjoyed the story even if it's a little raw and I'm hoping that my writing has improve, so let me have your commits

thanks