Chapter One

Introduction of Haniyya (Hagar) parent's

Chapter One

 

Queen Gamila labors late into the evening to give birth to her first child.  The woman, maid servants and the midwife are in a private section of the palace of King Mamduh of Maghreb, a kingdom that lies adjacent to the land of Egypt. The King awaits in the grand chamber along with his sons and officials.  They all are hoping for good outcome concerning the king’s wife and her expecting child.

 

Suddenly a small servant girl burst into the room excited with news about Gamila’s the queen.  “THE BABY IS HERE!”  Shouted the girl, forgetting all protocols, only now remembering, greatly embarrass with fear dropping to her hands and knees.  Some of the king’s guests chuckle at the innocents of the small child. The king did not care leaping to his feet wanting to see his baby.  Stepping around the tables his sons’ right behind him, soon the midwife step inside holding the infant.  The tiny thing is wrapped snuggle in soft linen, she bow before him going down to her knees smiling proudly.

 

“Lord may you live forever, the gods has blessed you with a strong and healthy daughter and the mother is fine and resting,” announce the midwife.

 

King Mamduh countenances brighten with great joy scooping into his arms the little girl, the jostling causing her cry out loud.  He turned to his guests a proud father showing off his first daughter naming her Haniyya.  The king desire is to lavishly dote on his little girl with Jewels in her hair and the finest clothing.  The years pass she grew up greatly loved by her father’s, laughing and playing throughout the palace.  Gamila made sure she is disciplined and educated as a princess. 

 

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A tense peace has existed between Maghreb and Egypt. King Mamduh has obsessed since he became the ruler to conquer Egypt taking control of its riches.  He has exhausted great amounts of the kingdom wealth and resources building up his army waiting for an opportunity to rage war.

 

The king believed that the gods is favoring him with a sign to proceed when his oldest son refuse to marry the youngest daughter of Sehetepre the Pharaoh of Egypt.  The joining of the two royal families would have sealed a treaty forage by ambassadors from both kingdoms.  The insult seriously angered the Egyptian and breaking the heart of his daughter.  Both Kingdoms are bitter over the incident, communications from both countries were halted.

 

The king assumes Egypt is weak to fight another war.  His spies inform him huge amounts resources were used to defend its southern borders from attacking Nubian tribes.  The king has met frequently with his general and nobles receiving updated reports on the development of his troops.

 

Queen Gamila enter into the grand room uninvited, a stillness fell over the men as they stare.  Traditionally women are not allowed in the meeting hall when the king is conducting kingdom affairs with his official unless they are invited.  Mamduh reviewing the stone tablets reports notice the roar of silence entering into the room.  He looked up seeing his wife kneeling before him.  “Queen Gamila, I don’t believe I have summoned you,”

 

“Please forgive me my Lord, but I must speak because my heart is greatly troubled.”  Her eyes lock on his face as she spoke, he set back in his chair, grinning as he acknowledges her to rise and continue speaking.  “I know everyone is eager to go to war with Egypt, but I beg you to reconsider your decision, because I had a foreboding dream.”  The room is mix when she spoke about her ominous dream some laugh dismissing her as a silly woman’s nightmare other wonder is it an omen from the gods.

 

She glances at them, but continue speaking. “The vision I had is a forewarning of disaster if we pursue war against Egypt.  Our people need to maintain the fragile peace and find a way to strengthen a friendship like your son marring king Sehetepre daughter…”

 

“NO!”  Shouted Dayan, the king son, jumping to his feet furiously at Gamila, “I will not change my mind marrying that curse woman.  I read the reports calling her the ghost of the Nile, her skin is pale as the sand and her hair is white as clouds.  We are insulted by their trickery trying to cast off their disease daughter on us to curse our bloodline.”  Some of the men agreed with Dayan wholeheartedly with loud approvals cheers and stomping of feet.

 

The king scans the room as his men responded favorably to his son rejection of Gamila, then his eyes fell on his wife waiting for her response

 

“I too have read the reports, pharaoh’s daughter is not curse she is normal in every way, but her skin and hair has no pigmentation.  She is no ghost, they call what she have Albino and some consider her condition a favor from the gods.”

 

“Well that soooooo wonderful this woman is favored by the gods, they can keep her,” Dayan spoke patronizing tone of voice, the room filled with laugher then the king stood to his feet, a hush fell in the room.  He steps towards his wife laying his hands on her shoulders tenderly.

 

“My beautiful wife has spoken true what’s in her heart, she represents the women of this kingdom that prefer peace than war,” his finger gently touching Gamila face pulling her closer to him as he kiss her forehead.  He step back spinning with arms raised, “WE KNOW IT’S TIME FOR WAR!”  All of the nobles and generals jumped to their feet cheering armed raised in a victory stances some thumping their chest in agreement with the king. “A lasting peace is only possible when our kingdom subdue all of our enemies!   Our time is now to build a great empire and gives our wives a lasting peace and adore them with the richest of the east.”  Gamila steps back watching her husband stir up the room knowing she lost the debate.

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On the day of deployment of the king army, the palace is full of activities, the seven tribes that made up the kingdom sent their young sons for the king’s campaign.  It’s an enormous undertaken as herds of sheep and cattle are corralled, camels and wagons are weighted down with supplies for combat.  Teams of people going here and there in the palace and the surrounding community are full of commotion.  The events are too fantastic to watch by a thin frame, dark cooper tone skin girl with hazel eye and long black curly hair, princess Haniyya.  

 

The whole family is in the temple of Bass-shaman, the family god observing the priest making burn sacrifices of bulls in the hopes of a supernatural blessing for the venture.  Haniyya desire to go with her father, but she was denied so she ran to her mother in the hopes she might be able to change her father mind. 

 

“Why can’t I go?”  Haniyya pleading with her mother.

 

“Your father and brother are going off to war, that work is for men to do,” Gamila looking out her bedroom window as the troops are marching away.

 

“What do we do, mother?”

 

“We wait; we worry and hope for the best.  We hope that our husbands, sons and brothers will live to come back to us, we hope our tears and kisses are enough to heal the scars of battle.” taking hold of her daughter drawing her close, Haniyya putting her arm around her mother, “The waiting is our job, it very hard to do.”

 

Author's Note

I hope you like this chapter which for me is the induction on the story the birth of Hagar and the seeds of destruction of her Father kingdom.

Reviews

[A. H. Pinley]

Queen Gamila labors late into the evening to give birth to her first child. See what you think on writing it this way, Queen Gamila labors late into the evening for the birth of her first child. Omit the before midwife.

King Mamduh countenances brighten with great joy scooping into his arms the little girl, the jostling causing her cry out loud. He turned to his guests a proud father showing off his first daughter naming her Haniyya. The king desire is to lavishly dote on his little girl with Jewels in her hair and the finest clothing. The years pass she grew up greatly loved by her father’s, laughing and playing throughout the palace. Gamila made sure she is disciplined and educated as a princess. (Make into two paragraphs)

Not saying to do it all of the time, but have the king address the midwife by her first name after this section, “Lord may you live forever, the gods has blessed you with a strong and healthy daughter and the mother is fine and resting,” announce the midwife.
If we were to look at the first chapter as being broken up into three sections, I think the second section would be better served if you give the reader some sense as to where the scene takes place. You mention the that the princess walks into the grand room uninvited. What does this grand room look like? Is the king sitting on a throne surrounded by his loyal? What does the throne look like?

The room is mix when she spoke about her ominous dream some laugh dismissing her as a silly woman’s nightmare other wonder is it an omen from the gods. (Break into three sentences.)

cooper= copper
You paint a nice vision of a kingdom that is uneasy. I would like to see you paint even more. Keep at it!

[Lonnie Paul Johnson]

Thank your for the review and giving me a few pointers to help my writing.