The Adventure of Twinkle Toes

I started to write this as a kids book, but then it took off on something of its own. I am not sure to call it poetry or a kids story or both...It was something that I am working on.

Walking in the woods one day

While the clouds were low

And the sky was grey

Traveled a boy that everyone knows

He goes by the name twinkle toes

He came upon an old dirt road

That was Governed by a toad

He was grumpy and he was mean

And his nickname was green machine

At the Bridge he charged to pass

Though is was broken and covered with grass

He had an army of trolls

The guarded the river and they would attack

If the passer failed to deliver

"Halt there boy! to pass there is a fee

I need something from you to me."

Twinkle Toes stopped in shock

As he realized the toad could talk

He replied, "Well i do not have any money

But I do have this pot of honey."

The grumpy toad said, "Okay young boy that will do."

And then he smiled and let him through.

Author's Note

I have no idea where to go from here. I honestly don't usually write for kids, but I was teaching my step daughter some words and I came up with this fun way to teach her. Please help me move this along! :) Suggestions are welcome. There are a few places I feel I need to add!

Reviews

[Aethereal]

This little story is the beginning of something great. Here's where the boy's adventure in the enchanted forest begin: I wrote three verses having meter and rhyme to show you how I would do it: You may keep these three verses as a gift:

Twinkle Toes

Walking through the woods one day
came a boy called Twinkle Toes
who seemed to have lost his way
where a mighty river flows.

He came to a crossing bridge
governed by a nasty toad
whose trolls walked the river's ridge
blocking travelers on the road.

The toad asked him for a fee
in words that gave him a shock.
The boy told him, "Let me be.
Real toads have no way to talk."

[Phantom Heart]

Nice. And thank you for the gift. It will help me with my own adventure in writing this. I seemed to be stuck there for a minute, trying to fit rhyme into what I was trying to say.

[Aethereal]

A rhyming dictionary would help. You only need two rhyme sounds for each overlapping quatrain verse. If you keep to meter where all accents on syllables match, then you'll create an epic song as well as a poem. Children like poems that sing. A thesaurus would help you find just the right word. Keep each line simple but wise. Notice how the poem I gave you may be sung out loud. Each line has seven syllables whereby all the accents match the lines above. All accents are where a dictionary places them if you look the words up. Children learn how to speak properly by reciting poetry.

[Maryam Mottahedeh]

Hi Morgan,

I like this story, how narrative it is and clever at the same time:) What I would love to see unfold from your version (which has a magical quality to me) is the narrative of other beings crossing or simply relating to the toad and the situation. Different perspectives and approaches on how to handle the same situation and the effects on the toad... the effects on the travelers of the road. I hope that's helpful..