My Darkened Heart

My cries for help seem to be unheard 

I begged for love and you never said a word

My heart is dark, I probably won't make it

My life will be over soon, because I have to take it

Now here I lay in a pool of red

Its over now nothing to be said

The wounds in my heart to much to heel

There's no pain left, I've nothing to feel

Slowly my eyes close and the light begins to fade

My hand releases the grip of the cold steel blade

Death has come for me, and I gladly welcome him

I know that God won't forgive my sin

But if he loved me, would I have felt this way

If someone could have loved me, would I be here today

The feelings of sorrow and loneliness overwhelmed me

Till death was all my hurt filled eyes could see

I'm so glad it's over, I hate this place

Not a single soul will remember my face

To never be loved is a terrible thing I know

Death is now here and I must go

Save your tears, don't cry them for me

Cause only in death will I truly be free

Reviews

[Astro]

This could work as a song I think. Well penned my friend. "heel" = "heal"
P.S. I think this could be a modern day William Wallace ballad, with the ending screaming "FreeedooooM!" ;)

[Death Girl]

I have felt like this a lot.

[minisla]

Very touching poem. One all readers should relate too.

[Crystal Marie Dreier]

Oh wow this is absolutely beautiful. I have felt like this for a while but for a different cause. It really touched me.

[Mike Emil]

all this begging and wanting
you all need to steel yourselves
HAI!!!

[Michael Stevens]

Very, dark, foreboding poem, but quite excellent!

[Barbara Walker]

Like the structure to this piece and you have some good rhymes. In the second stanza, third line, edited for correct spelling should be-"the wounds in my heart, too much to heal."

[Lexi Villanueva]

I can feel and imagine what is happening within this piece it is dark, sad but within this
piece realization is opened and brought out into the mind of the reader.
I love this piece but I will be truthful in all my reviews as well as this. This piece
I love it but a is favorite but to say my rating will not be 100 but I do praise this
piece I will rate this at 99. Keep up with your writing.

[Angel]

Wow. This one bites like a rabid dog. It hits me right in the heart.
Others have said it better than I. If you are truly feeling suicidal, please get help. No problem, and surely no lover is worth killing yourself over. Others here in the Café have been through horribly traumatic experiences, and have found the strength to go on living...
That "dark night of the soul" can be devastating, I know. But suicide is, at it's best, a permanent solution to a temporary problem. At it's worst, it is the coward's way out. It is a very selfish act, in any case...leaving your problems behind for someone else to clean up...
I am hoping that this is intended to be a portrayal of the suicide's mind in his last moments...and it is so good that you have gotten the concern of everyone who reads it. So, as a portrayal, I will say that it is brilliant work.

And I will be praying for you, my friend!!
Yes, when I said "everyone who reads it", you may include the Angel...

[shallimarRose]

"I'm so glad it's over, I hate this place
Not a single soul will remember my face"

So many suffer in silence. This was very dark and difficult to read for me. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. There will always be someone somewhere who can help. If you are feeling depression I so understand because so am I. Bi-polar perhaps. Suicide is neither an answer or a solution. Think about your family.. surly there is someone. You can read my story Raped by a friend in my files.. We have to stand together or we let the darkness win. **** On the other hand it this is 100 percent imagination and you are fine congratulations.. You got me.. (message me if you need to talk) Rose

www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

suicidehotlines.com

depression.about.com/od/suicidecrisis/a/suicide_hotline.htm