Hello. Stevo requested I read this poem. Honestly, I am not qualified to critique poetry. I've never been into poetry, except for the poetry I was forced to read in high school.
It is a sad poem. My father passed away in 2002 and my mother in 2000, so I understand the sadness.
There are a few punctuation mistakes. They are noted below:
Very heartfelt and beautiful. Because you left the father part till the end, it draws in everybody in some way. Heart break and agony is something everyone experiences from one point to the next and is very relatable.The last stanza though not everyone can relate to it personally, really pulls on your heart strings. Good job, very emotional
Beautiful rememberance love.... Sometimes we are reminded why we do the things we do.... And we regain the strength to move on... Through the ugly world they can be beauty in love there is beauty in love hold on
You blew me away with this poem. There is a true feeling of loss but also a ending feeling of resolve. Pain will pass but the memory remains. Thank you for sharing this for those who have lost someone
The first 4 lines have superior pacing, perhaps as the most worked.
From there, the rhythm loses me.
Why did you leave? (is back to the pace)
Did you not love me anymore? [Did you love no more]
I've searched for the answers [I searched for answers]
And even knocked on Heavens door [and knocked heavens door]
I especially like the first four lines. the structure of it.
i can completely relate with all your thoughts here..
its a huge irony of life, that we lose or rather, only those people are he first to leave, whom we love the most....i can feel the degree of love, and the huge feeling of pain you r having on losing your very precious dad..
i too had the same when i lost my verry dear grannny....
i think God does so, because he too is unhappy in his world, and wants good people to be with him
but always remember my friend, if God puts us in trouble, he's the only one who helps us to come out of it:)
and time heals all wounds with its passage
i hope and really wish you soon get well...
My name is Timmy, I haven't written in a while. I'm finally getting back into it. I am a 37 year old Union Ironworker. My brother Stevo recommended this site for me. more..