For You

We all want to believe our children will love us
Hold us, kiss us, stay with us,
and wrap their little hands around our fingers
Big eyes watch big people with big love

But they're a squirmy type
Run away, out of our arms
No matter how far we stretch

Exploring dust bunnies in corners
Carrying shoes to bury in the sand box
They all, will all, run away

And you see then,
Perhaps they are not yours.

Individuals behind those big eyes
And we, again, are left to watch
Like past loves left,
Mother, fathers, gone,
And a thousand friends,
drifted away

We own no one,
Our children owe nothing
And we will all realize how little we are
How alone we are

And in that we must find some happiness
We must find some truth
For them, for us,
For you

Reviews

[Marc Mccune]

I am here, in this place you describe so well.

Alone, in the middle. Alone as a son and a father.
Both drawing away, and having been drawn away from.

My father; me, a father and
My sons; me a son.

And do they see the writer's heart I wear on my writer's sleeve, my parents, my children. me, in the middle.

[- - - - - - - - - >] Likemeter(tm)

[(man)~~~~~~lol~~~~~~(dr..]

"Big eyes watch big people with big love" � love it! It's got that 'little-kid' feel to it somehow.

They will all run away...
I like the dust bunny part. Shoes to burry in the sandbox huh? If you're going to mention this, I would almost say towards the end or in the ending, something about having sand between your toes...as if their deciding to burry your shoes somehow made more work cut out for you or something.

Stanza five is a particularly sad one. You know, though, that their eyes are actually normal size, they just look big on their heads? It's all an illusion...like how you think they're REALLY yours, when they, like you've stated, belong to no one.

I like the last stanza telling us to find some truth. This is the best thing. Find out that they have their own minds and all you can really do is try. Try to implicate some directive over them while knowing that it still rests out of your hands...hands...you hadn't mentioned anything about hands, have you? Hands are the most noticeable things with young ones. Maybe near the "no matter how far we stretch" line, mention something about hands...how they hold the world in their eyes as they hang on to your hand...walking across the street...I don't know. Something.

Not sure how to rate this one (like the rating system actually means anything).

[Yira Simone]

i agree with your thinking. Sometimes parents cling to their kids , out of love, needing to protect, and just because that may be thrie best friend, and don't realize, we are meant to move on. You are right, children are not our property, so being controling should be out of the question. I don't have kids, but I do have nieces and newphews and I can relate to these words. Your poem seem to me to be well written. It was a pleasure to review this poem.

[Tabitha Kaufman]

You made me feel you words in this piece. I enjoyed reading it to its ends. Thank you for sharing this

[Nikki]

this is a very sad piece...but so very true.

you cant make someone love you, stay, or even care...

this is a sobering reminder...well done

-Nikki

[Missphit]

As a mother it makes me sad, knowing that tender age is passing where they feel they "need me" and although i realize i don't own them they are everything to me. I loved this piece very heartfelt and moving

[Randy Mckenica -writers..]

As far as the content, I feel if we lose the connection to our children it's our fault. I did with my first, and applied the lessons to my second, so that even when she got squirmy (and still does at 19) she always desires to have the bond we share.
As far as the readability, Chrlie, you have a natural flow of writing and I think you could write about any topic and make it readable!
As far as the style, it befits the poem.
Nice job.

[Jonathan Bryant Dean]

No one owns another, this is true. It is nice when someone lends us a part of themselves, as children do.

Love is given, never taken, and surely never owned.

I know that your poem was about children, but it is a universal truth.
JB

[Scott Eckert]

This a very good poem with a large amount of truth. We are not here forever and may not abide by anyone. Many relationship leave by death or by distance. Thanks for the wonderful poem...

[Bensin Mcklien]

Are you the Byronian Hero? I think so.