Thoughts

I'm smiling, yet why do I feel so empty?
Its hard to explain
I just feel helpless, numb to all emotions
Tell me, teach me how to not think of such things
Is my mask convincing enough?
Do I look happy with life?
I feel lost
I cant see the paths I'm supposed to follow
God please save me
I'm on the edge of exploding
Is this ever going to end

What do I do?
I was never taught how to deal with this
Will I ever be able to overcome my never-ending obstacles?
Just fill the void in my heart
Passion, hatred, anything
It's far too empty, nothing seems to be enough
This is not who I am but, do I know who I really am?
Is it the always happy or depressed me?
When I say I don not wish to speak about it
I meant that I didn't want to contaminate you with my intoxicated thoughts
Although it hurts, I'm envious
Why are you smiling on the other side?
Whilst I am suffocating

I go to places to be distracted
From all the thoughts that hold me captive
I don't see the bright side in things
Not because I don not wish to
But because I'm blinded by the bad things

Social anxiety, depression
Do any of these show?
Or are you still convinced that I'm happy
Fake smiles, fake laughs
Is this what you expect out of me?
Funny how you thought I would be last to hold such thoughts

It gets stronger, louder as the days pass by
Pills aren't enough to suppress it anymore
What can I do except fall into it's hands and admit defeat?

As the night comes by, my heart stops and i suddenly start to be terrified
Its as if I'm drowning in my own mind

I have no idea how to not think
How do you escape from your own mind?
How do you untie yourself from the knot?
How do you break free from the heavy shackles that binds you?

Hey Mr Savior, could you save my messed up, broken self?

Reviews

[NOBODY]

Don't know if its good enough, but the character who goes through this is supposed to portray how others feel when going through this.

[Emily B]

it feels anxious and dark to me

[NOBODY]

I guess that's the truest reality most people go through