Picture on my desk

I sit here and try my best

I try to type

to smile

to forget

and forgive

I try 

to forgive myself

for hurting you

the way I did

I try to feel 

feel that I wasn't being selfish

I know I was

But this picture here

This picture sits and watches me

Reading my thoughts

It knows

It knows my secrets

my dreams

my fears

and my feelings

I try to forget

But your innocent smile makes it hard

You look so happy

So free

Back before you were ruined

by me.

Now I know they say 

You're fine

You say

You're fine

but it all comes down to the fact that 

I'm not

I don't know why it's so hard

its never been this hard

we don't speak much

and for that I'm sorry

but your picture sits here

and torments me 

night and day

It's my fault

Neither can I run

Nor can I hide

I'd put it away

but I'd miss it

The truth is

I like that photo.  

The photo that reminds me

of smiles

tears

laughter

pain

happiness

So much has happened since I've last seen you

but for now

I have this picture

so 

I'm content.

Author's Note

This is what happens when I sit here and attempt to get some work in my books done at two in the morning. And his picture is sitting right there.

Reviews

[dw817]

Boy: (cheery) "How are you ?"
Girl: (looks down unhappily) "Fine."

Yes, what doesn't come out in words comes out in body language. Minju it's always been my experience that when a girl tells me, "Fine," or, "Nothing," it is usually the opposite ...

And yes, often when we have our photo taken, for whatever occasion it is for that very reason - to remind us of happier times ... Hang in there !

[Vic]

I'm
Falling apart
Insecure
Needing help
Everything's wrong.
Yep the female mind is pretty interesting. Is it not?

[K.S.78]

Oh wow I really love this! Great work and very inspirational!

[danish]

I can feel the emotion its very touching good one...

[Vic]

Thank you. :)

[danish]

Hi victoria hows you and i liked your poem.
What you think about my first poem just let me know..

[Vic]

I'll be sure to check it out. Thanks! :)

[~*~Peace Keeper~*~]

This is good, I like the flow. I can feel the regret and emotion and probably some frustration in this poem. I like how you worded your feelings and thoughts while creating this piece. Hope you guys can get back to at least talking and being friends. It seems you would want that at least.

Good Job

[Vic]

Thanks. Actually he was my best friend. He was like the only person I could talk to about important matters. But he moved last year and we haven't spoken since October. I don't think we'll speak unless he actually does move back. But I don't see that happening anytime soon.

[~*~Peace Keeper~*~]

ooooh well that makes more sense then...you guys can't email or anything? D: sounds so sad

[Vic]

His mother had seven kids and they have one computer. He's only allowed to use it for typing homework. But he might be moving back in ninth grade.

[~*~Peace Keeper~*~]

o.o that's a lot of kids lol and hopefully he can he seemed to be a good friend and such ^^ something to look forward to.

[Vic]

Yea. When I said best friend well. We were "Dating" But you can't call it dating when you're in sixth grade! We just talked and laughed and showed affection. We weren't really dating. I thought of him as my best friend. But right before he moved things got awkward when we "broke up" I hadn't talked to him since then until october. And even then all he said was "Hi," and "Good I guess,"

[~*~Peace Keeper~*~]

ahhh I see...that's kinda sad D: makes me feel sad. wonder if he is just sad also.

[Vic]

Sometimes I wonder too. I try to forget about him but sometimes I just call his old house phone only to hear "This number is no longer in service." Sometimes I just really need to talk to him. Even my best friend Noah doesn't have this kind of connection with me. I just hope he's happy, wherever he is. He's moved so many times, I've lost count.

[~*~Peace Keeper~*~]

Yeah it is always nice talking to someone that you feel comfortable with...it is kinda bittersweet you called his old home phone. He doesn't really have a phone that he can use to call you ever once in awhile?