The Moon Hides

Originally a syntax assignment turned into a favorite piece about unrequited love. Writing basically imitates the style of Charles Frazier, author of Cold Mountain. Although the themes are completely on opposite ends of the universe (sort of, they both ha

Sometime after dusk, they danced in the graveyard around dead trees and shattered gravestones. They danced hand in hand under the ghostly branches and listened to the sound of silence. Saya and Kai danced a single waltz and then they both wandered aimlessly through the engraved surnames and left a single rose petal on each grave and sang a sad melody. To Kai’s surprise, he found himself singing to Saya. He felt her soul and her voice note by note and sang his final conclusion that he loved her and wished her in his arms, though he knew one kiss would bring the stars down upon them, a great dégrangolade snatching at lost hearts, clawing at them more and more until the hearts were shredded. It was a pain he didn’t care to witness. Nor was he confident that Saya would accept his love, not from a mere boy smitten by her eyes and words as he had become. He concluded by singing that though her footwork was left-footed at times, Saya was, by his way of feeling, perfect. Her hands were ever so frail and beauty flowed from every touch, and they gave her an unspoken grace which he thought was her most perfect attribute.

            The song ended on a note of solid solemnity as Kai’s voice faded gradually into the tombstones. A voice pierced his mind violently, “Loving a girl for any less than who she is makes no more sense than loving a gravestone for anything more than its beauty. But it is a frequent folly, nonetheless.”

Saya and Kai stopped their dancing for a time, staring back at each other. The silence was solemn and had thickened up until the air between them was neither breathable,

nor translucent. The fog floated like a mourning ghost, though without tears of sadness, and it clouded the space between their eyes with such a menacing silence that Kai found himself screaming out his emotions. The mist framed his face and a few words made their ways through the suspended cloud and caressed Saya’s waiting ears. Saya tried to wish herself accepting his offers of love in such a lonely and desolate shelter as the graveyard. Sing a song of a one-way love and live a life of solidarity. A life as broken and bounded as slave’s ought to be. It was a powerful song, and yet in her mind, she heard herself regretting every lyric of it, her heart poisoned with love for the stricken boy.

 

Author's Note

title does not match prima facia story for a purpose

Reviews

[Andromeda]

beautiful

[Travis Lawrence]

Terrific and powerful. A love story in a graveyard is a clever choice of setting. There is only one change I'd make, in the second sentance: "They danced hand in hand under the ghostly branches and listened to the sound of silence."

It's a beautifully eloquent string of words, but "sound of silence" is cliche, thanks to Simon and Garfunkel. It would work just as well if it read "...and listened to the silence." But otherwise I love it.