Acerbity Regarding Dead Verse

Same bit: dabbler scribbles a four stanza verse regarding oceans,
Staring at plump seagulls and bathing beauties in swimming attire,
Describes in depth a series of objects: breeze, bikini, lotion,
Seaweed, waves, abs, sunset, sand and grit, kisses, etcetera.

The formula is constructed primarily in clich�s:
�The sun was warm�, �my smooth skin�, �the soft breeze��
Ancient heard words written in flawless cursive, each phrase
Typical of the genre. Scribbler sits in the first row of English class.

Drab title: �An Immortal Afternoon at the Shore�
Is no toilest Wasteland. Presented to the right hand chair occupant
Who does not know words like I do. It sounds to her more
Like Dickenson. Snort. Gag. The Anonymous face with dyed frizz
---Inspects semantics.

A repeated theme of cursive and sea blue lines
Framing each letter, folded once with precision
And rivals greeting card verse, whirling black ink trying to find
A purr, but instead it comes out smelling like gargled saltwater
---Rather than art.

Reviews

[Emily B]

I despise rhyming verse, BUT I have to make myself remember that we each have different goals. We all have different backgrounsd, different ideals, and different abilities. We shouldn't judge another writer against other writers but against their own best work.

This is a good poem. You might look at your spelling of Dickinson.