This is the Me that Loved You

I wish you were still the way 

you were 

when I met you

Before your face leaked

the thoughts of arrogance 

you held, toxic, in your mind   

Before you thought the ways that I am 

Are the ways you could not comprehend

Before we couldn't be alone

With only a computer screen 

And miles in between us 

But maybe this is how you've always been

Maybe I built you up so tall in my head 

That your fall was inevitable 

And when you topple 

You take me with you 

Maybe the perfect bricks 

I'd made you out of 

Crumbled into mediocrity 

With the breath of the wind 

Maybe the ways that we are 

Never synced up 

Until the versions of ourselves 

We wanted to be

Only lived in each other's heads 

And vanished each time we spoke 

Maybe I'm thinking too much about you

Maybe I'm writing too much about you 

Maybe the you that I remember 

And the you that you are 

Are so different 

That I live in disappointment 

That I love in disappointment 

It's so unfair to you 

The you that's real 

And the me that loved you

Were never meant to coexist