Painted Ladies

A homely saloon girl is surprised when a stranger chooses her for the night.

Painted Ladies

Funny thing about an ugly w***e. They keep you furthest back where the shadows are darkest, because powder and rouge can only do so much. You don't get chosen so often, and you're always worried when you do, because it's usually the mean ones that'll choose ya. Miss Kitty won't let a man hit her pretty girls, but she figures with the ugly ones, a few bruises don't make no difference.

So I was real surprised when the man pointed at me. I don't know, just something about him didn't strike me as mean. If Miss Kitty seemed surprised, too, she didn't show it, although Miss Alice had to stifle a gasp. Miss Kitty beckoned me, and I led the way upstairs, swaying my hips real nice for the fellow, and meaning it this time.

With the door closed behind us, I stripped down to my petticoat and corset, and arranged myself alluringly on the bed. He took off his gun belt and set it on the dressing table, but that was all. He sat on the edge of the bed, hardly looking at me.

"Do you ever get...people... who just want to talk?" he asked.

Well, yeah, that was something that happened to ugly w****s, too. I felt a little deflated.

"Sure. Sometimes."

"It's all right, ya think?"

Something in the way he said it made me feel a little sorry for him, like he was carrying a great sadness. I patted his arm.

"Why, sure, it's all right."

He let out a big sigh and slowly, haltingly, began his story.

"My pa was a horrible, mean man. Made his own corn whiskey and finished off a whole jug every day and every night. Had a terrible temper. He only took it out on us boys, though, never raised a hand to my ma or my sister.

"He spent a lotta time in the saloons, loved to play cards but wasn't very good at it. He lost an awful lot of money, and sometimes we went hungry because he'd stopped at the Pig and Whistle instead of the merchant. Ma never said anything, though. I didn't know why.

"One day he came home and told my sister to pack her bags. He'd gotten himself into a world of trouble at the saloon and owed the owner more money than he could ever hope to earn in a lifetime. 'It's either you or the house,' he told her.

"She cried and cried while she packed up, but Ma kept reassuring her. 'You're a petty girl,' she said, 'you're gonna do just fine. You'll get to wear pretty things, and least it ain't gonna be your pa anymore.'

"I didn't understand," he said with a helpless shrug. "By the time I did, I came to town, looking for her, but she was gone. The bartender at the saloon said she just up and left one day, making everyone real mad, but they didn't come after pa because she'd done a real good job while she was there.

"I'm still looking for her." He stared at his hands for the longest time.

"I chose you because you have pretty eyes," he said, turning to look at me for the first time. "They look real kind, ma'am."

I blushed.

"I just thought, maybe, if you ever see her? If she comes by looking for work, you know? You can tell her that pa's dead now, and her brother, Jasper, that's me, is looking for her. Her name is Annabelle."

I nodded my head, knowing I'd never see that girl, and if I did, she wouldn't be Annabelle anymore. No one goes by their real name, their Christian name, their pig tails and freckles and crown of daisies name.

He took my hand and held it for awhile, then he stood up and put his gun belt back on. He left a couple of bills on the dressing table before leaving the room.

 

by Shelli Proffitt Howells

copyright 2013

Reviews

[Anneli Jo]

Write more.. please! Also, this is really cool. I was so interested in it, that I would read ahead, which is something that I do when I'm eager. I like it a lot, and I like that you didn't have a perfect ending. She didn't end up being Annabelle, which would have been the predictable ending. You are just kind of amazing at writing, and I'd love it if you'd share more short stories, because you're wonderful. I couldn't really find any errors, to be quite honest. If there were, they weren't obvious at all!

[Chris]

The story flowed well enough that I didn't perceive any errors.

[JaNell]

I am not a writer yet, but an avid reader of the old west and all of the hardships it's folks endured. Great beginning, an attention getter, it held my interest and I'm curious as to what happens next...

[Wolven]

Well, this was quite interesting in my opinion. Its all done by perspective which is a nice touch, and I found the man's story very sad. I would however suggest using some imagery or descriptions in your writing. Whilst some think they are unnecessary, i can't help but feel that imagery is a great thing to use, especially combined with things like metaphors. Aside from a few grammatical errors such as lack of apostrophe's etc. i think your writing style is great, and very mature too.
I'd be very interested in reading some more of your work also.