"Metalbird'
L.C.Jarrette,
I see by the title and the little note above 'fighter jets it is not readily understood at least by me. Well the poem itself is rather natural and seems as if you are writing about the natural world. I was intrigued and still am. I would love to hear what inspired this poem as it has gotten my interest.
blessings,
Kathy
This one's certainly creative. I love how the brevity of this poem (characteristic of the haiku form) allows the message to resonate. Your images and descriptions throughout are certainly evocative. I also enjoyed the subtle interplay of nature and man-made weaponry in your title, as you describe a fighter jet as a "metal bird" and reflect that same theme in your poem. On top of that, your picture really sets the tone. Well done.
- William Liston
(PS: Did you intend for your first line to hang off the side of your picture?)
Such a powerful Senryu, LC, that reaches deep into one's core, reawakening that which we all should never forget in the devastation by humankind to all life … such a fantastic title and an aptly meaningful picture you've selected, too.
There are certain Western rules that apply to the Japanese Haiku and Senryu forms I will gladly share with you, if you're interested and do not already know them (just message).
Thank you most gratefully for sharing this finely rendered piece from your alert mind and caring heart! ⁓ Richard : )
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
oh my...of all my poems I never expected that you would choose to post a review on this one. thank y.. read moreoh my...of all my poems I never expected that you would choose to post a review on this one. thank you very much sir. (teary eyed...)