"Curiosity"

"Curiosity"

A Poem by L.C. Jarrette
"

Be careful, it can be dangerous.

"
Curiosity is the spark 
that ignites
as the match strikes,
producing a blaze
that burns deep within the heart
of a man passionately wanting to unleash
the ardor which resides inside 
that blue flaming beauty.
To vehemently hunt down truth,
soon cajoles and entices
even the tiniest flying moth
eventually leading it 
to its wretched saccharine ending.

© 2017 L.C. Jarrette


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Reviews

L.C. Jarrette,
"Curiosity"
"curiosity is the spark"..line 1, "that blue flaming beauty." line 8. Curiosity resides in the very deepest core of humanity, a healthy trait.
"To vehemently hunt down truth" line 9 I see a positive trait here as well.
Maybe with misplaced affection or delving into areas which should not be touched is the downfall?
"soon cajoles and entices." line 10. "even the tiniest flying moth."
Thoughtful prose.
Blessings,
Kathy


Posted 7 Years Ago


Curiosity is source of all miracles and destruction.
This poem is wonderfully put with good-sounding words.
Curiosity is spontaneous...
Intelligent!
Thank you for sharing :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


L.C. Jarrette

7 Years Ago

you're welcome. thank you for reading!
When someone says, "Curiosity killed the cat," I enjoy responding, "True, but satisfaction brought back to life." LOL!
A few issues to address, if you've a mind to:
1) L3-L4, there is no capital required following a semicolon, unless it a proper word, place, or thing, and the semicolon is improperly used, because the remainder of that line is not a proper sentence, as it does not express a subject, as well as a predicate that contains a verb. A semicolon is used to divide two complete sentences that, though, different or separate, refers to or continues/completes/carries forth the thought, feeling, or subject, etc; of the first. A comma would be appropriate here; and, the same applies to your penultimate two lines, where there is a semicolon.
2) L8, consider "flame of" rather than "flammable" as "flammable" infers possible flame, rather than an actual resulting flame from the match's flare, which I take it you meant to express.
3) The word "so" is vague and unneeded, or a more definitive expression, for example: "passionately" would be expressive and meaningful, in this instance.
I hope these offer constructive help, without unintended insult.
Still, one is left quite amazed at the powerful message your well chosen, thoughtfully, and skillfully placed words deliver for the alert reader's benefit; I was, particularly, drawn to the message of your powerfully impacting ending:
"even the tiniest flying moth,
leading it to its eventually
wretched, bitter ending."
I substituted "bitter" for "saccharine" as this means "excessively sweet or sentimental", and I doubt you mean that, but that's my interpretation of your intent … let me know, please, if I got it wrong; I, also, offered a word change illustration, which does not alter the meaning, but smoothes the syntax slightly.

I very much enjoy your style of writing, your keen use of well-placed and expressed metaphor, and look forward to mutually sharing our poetry, further reviews, and comments … thank you sincerely! ⁓ Richard : )

Posted 7 Years Ago


Richard🖌

7 Years Ago

Yes, Saccharin does not fit with the mode of the story, and it is more confusing to end with sweet t.. read more
L.C. Jarrette

7 Years Ago

hehe okay sir...thank you
:)
Richard🖌

7 Years Ago

Aw, you're welcome, but for what? LOL!
Wow this is good! I like how you use saccharine instead of sweet or sugar. An artificial sweetness - flavorful but deadly when too much.
Well done!

Posted 7 Years Ago


L.C. Jarrette

7 Years Ago

thank you psychotic lily. i have a new one. do you want to read "The Blind Who Dreamt Colors" ?
read more
Psychotic Lily

7 Years Ago

Ah sure I'll check it out when I'm free. My lil sis is hogging my laptop and net
I really like this one. It's true how we search the truth so much to sometimes find out we would like to believe a lie instead.

Posted 7 Years Ago


L.C. Jarrette

7 Years Ago

i was watching Prison break. in the movie,as the characters where close to finding the truth it led .. read more
Amazing.....I really liked this...

Posted 7 Years Ago


L.C. Jarrette

7 Years Ago

thank you..najam
Najam Us Saher

7 Years Ago

You're welcome.
Curiosity killed the cat.....this curiosity in this cat seems to be a dark one. One where the truth is revealed in a stark and hurtful manner. At least, that' my take.

Posted 7 Years Ago


L.C. Jarrette

7 Years Ago

i was watching prison break at that time, then i made this. :)
I have to admit I'm not very good at reading nuanced poems like this (I'm more into straightforward reading & writing) . . . but to the extent I can understand your message, I very much appreciate the way you use powerful & original-sounding words to make this feel very dynamic: unleash, cajoles, entices, etc. I'm not in agreement that curiosity is all this (I kinda like curiosity & I don't believe it killed the cat, as the old saying goes!) But I also understand (mostly) what you're saying out how it can be dangerous.

Posted 7 Years Ago


L.C. Jarrette

7 Years Ago

why thank you..i really like your comment.very honest.
:)
L.C. Jarrette

7 Years Ago

if you have some tips for me to improve please don't hesitate..thank you again
barleygirl

7 Years Ago

I read your poem again & I honestly can't think of anything to improve it . . . (usually I have lots.. read more
[send message][befriend] Subscribe
Cy!
This vocabulary is quite nicely used.
Vehemently... Saccharine... Ardor...

I had to google these words but, I found that this poem uses deep symbolism and many other writing styles. This is beautifully written, keep up the good work.

Posted 7 Years Ago


L.C. Jarrette

7 Years Ago

wow...i am deeply touched by your words.thank you very much for appreciating my work. i hope you wil.. read more
This poem reveals the dark side of curiosity so beautifully. This is amazing!! I especially love the end.

Posted 7 Years Ago


L.C. Jarrette

7 Years Ago

i really love how you express your reviews. thank you for reading my work. :)
Elizabeth

7 Years Ago

The pleasure is all mine :)

First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

427 Views
11 Reviews
Rating
Added on May 30, 2017
Last Updated on August 5, 2017

Author

L.C. Jarrette
L.C. Jarrette

Philippines



About
"Let your voice to be heard." Hope you'll like my poems...happy reading! more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..