thoughts to self and others

What has happened to me in this life?  Don't we all feel that it goes by so quickly.  I do not know why I have met the people I have met, or how to make things better in my own life, even though I know things can always be better or worse.  Oh husband, I never had in this life?  Why should others have then and I not?  I think of these things often.  And what will it mean for me? Still I hope to find someone, still I listen to random others, and still I wonder at what I respond to.  And which direction I go and what path I follow or take.