Dangled Time

Where are we

in this mess

these kaleidoscope hearts

tangled in chaotic patterns

covered in words left unsaid

 

By now

the words that I need

have just silently tumbled away

gently pulling memories away from

the precious time that already seems

lost in a cloud of thoughts

of time ticking away

 

What use is this dangled time

hanging by the slightest of threads

what use does it make

even to me

 

Reviews

[Anicca]

I like this a lot. The flow was lovely. Its one of those poems that you read in one breath and only once you get to the end do you actually remember to breath. Well done.

[slemonade]

In my opinion, the flow in this poem is better than "Kaleidoscope." There are no unnecessary pauses that cut up the meaning of the poem, making it seem disjointed. I also love your wording. "Kaleidoscope hearts," "chaotic patterns," "dangled time" all give me a sense of the manifestation of the abstract that I enjoy in poetry.
There is the last stanza that I would switch up if I were you. I would break it into two stanzas, one line each. It's just that, as you read, each of the questions causes you to pause so it seems like a natural place to break it up. However, it's just a suggestion. It would be just as good if you left it as is.
I really like your poem. Wonderful writing. :D