Ma And Daddy React

The first time my parents visit me after I sign myself in

I was up on the ward and someone came and told me I had visitors downstairs and they thought it was my parents.

 I knew that Daddy was going to ream me a new a*****e and I dreaded it but wanted to see my Ma.

 Someone took me downstairs through the door with the big sign above that said ELOPEMENT AREA which means this is where a patient should be watched because they will try to escape.

 F**k escape I knew better. If anyone tried and got out they got shipped back and spent even more time locked up.

  I saw Ma and Daddy sitting on a couch and when they saw me I could tell I was not going to get crying and hugs and my a*s kissed and coddled, I was going to get chewed out and it was going to be wicked but I knew I deserved it.

  Daddy went right at me and fired off how " f*****g stupid" I 

was and how I needed to " Pull my head out of my a*s" 

Ma sat and bit her lip and said nothing as he went on and on about how "selfish and stupid" I was and started firing away about Jessi and how she would have found me dead. I stood and listened to this and finally lost it and said at least now everyone knew I was " f*****g sick" and that I was not " a f*****g drama queen asking for attention" I started to cry and Ma told Daddy to calm down and then told me that " everyone loved me and would help me get well again so I could come home" Ma talked about Jessi and how she was " so upset" and " missing and needing her Mommy" That made me think of my little girl and I started to cry. I felt like s**t thinking of how everyone felt because I did such a f*****g stupid and selfish thing. It was a slap in the face sitting there watching my parents grief stricken and I hated myself for all of it,

 The worst was when Daddy described what it was like to get a call in the dead of night from my sister telling them that I took a bottle of pills and was in the hospital. 

 WHAT THE F**K DID I DO! WHAT THE HELL WAS I GOING TO DO!

The orderly came and said that I had to go back upstairs and Ma said she had something for me and handed me a card and a little stuffed bear. She said she wanted me to have the bear to remind me of my family that loved me and when I read the card I started to cry again.

 I watched my parents stand there and watch me be led away to be locked up, None of us knowing how long before I would be able to walk out those doors at all.

 

Author's Note

I just write whatever I feel. I know I need to revise and edit ,,