Revelations

I have no idea what genre this would be nor why I wrote it this way but ....It's what I wrote and yes it is about me. In fact I just wrote this : )

The morning light shone through the blinds. How could she not realize that it was already past sunrise? That she had sat at this keyboard all night long.
  Her mind was so alive with ideas and so many good intentions and the excitement of that caused her to feel even more restless.
  It was not the bipolar at work nor the full moon that still shown on the horizon. No not at all. It was this new and exciting feeling that she could not get enough of and times like these she embraced and went with the flow of it all. For to go against this seemed so wasteful when she had wasted more than half of her almost 48 years doing nothing but merely walking and talking and breathing and feeling nothing real at all.
  As she sat typing and thinking of the rest of the day ahead she came to a revelation.
Not only was she truly healing for once in her life she was making progress in this journey and this longed for state of being called healing.
  Over a decade before she had sat in the chair and told her Psychiatrist that she was tired of therapy and tired of the past and had come to the conclusion that no more of that was necessary because she needed and wanted to deal with the here and now and nothing more of what could never be changed.
  So now as she sat and had this revelation as she liked to refer to these points in her life and realized just how important this one was not only to her but to her children and her family and the man that she loved and considered her mentor.
  No wonder sleep was not necessary. Writing this and sharing it was much more important and she would sit and do this until it was done and posted.
  She wanted to cry with joy and even scream from the rooftop that she finally had accomplished something that she never believed she would in her lifetime let alone not even 2 years into this process.
  She wanted to wake him up and tell him right that very minute but she listened to the peaceful sound of pleasant dreams from him instead.
   She was so happy and again actually proud of herself because she had realized that she was not only healing, She had made progress and even more than she realized she had.
   It all began earlier that morning when she sat and had a heart to heart with her love about something that was a constant issue with them and never seemed to resolve for long.
   As she paced outside in the dark and morning chill she realized that she had managed to have that serious and painful and hard conversation with him and had not had to try so hard to do things that others take for granted. Listen and let someone else talk and keep her emotions calm and peaceful.
   She had never been able to do that really her entire life and had missed out on so much she needed to hear and should have heard.
   She did not run away as she used to do when things like this were discussed. She did not react or over react with her drama queen ways of the past.
    She was able to realize that the true root of the entire issue was something that was hurting her love terribly and caused her to realize as well that she was forgetting something very important and something that she has always said even when she was in the worst of states. " In the best interest of the child"
    Not only did these things that came to her mind resolve things between she and her love, She took it upon herself to reach out to this child in her own way. She had little doubt that this would heal the situation and restore her family as it should be.
    And even though she had just come through a terrible depression that had worried her and lasted for at least a month she survived it because of what she had learned thus far and that was all that mattered now.
    She could not wait to tell her Therapist when she saw her later in the month because she was so happy and excited that finally she was healing and finally all of her work was becoming even more apparent. Not just to others, but to herself as well.
   
  

 

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Author's Note

I ordinarily do not write this way and it's strange I suppose. After I post more of my work you will see that I find it hard to describe my style as it varies day to day