no walls

coming out from behind a fictional story and telling my own story, the story of my broken heart. I'm broken and that't okay, maybe i'll heal some day

as I sit here and wonder why we weren't forever, I cry. my heart is broken. I know I am the one who decided to end things and I keep telling myself that it was the best decision I could've made for myself because it was not a good situation. He always treated me with respect, he loved me unconditionally and treated me like a damn princess, but he had no plans for life. dropped out of college to work at CVS for $15 an hour, I knew I needed someone who wanted more for himself. this love felt like it would last forever, and it hurts like hell that its over. it's been three months but I still wonder where I'd be if we were still together. I love him. I think what makes this so hard is that we were supposed to spend all these holidays together, his family treated me like their own. I tell myself to hate him for lying to me about the conditions of his classes, and the decisions he made, but I sit here and look at the photo booth pictures we took at the fair and cry my f*****g eyes out because he was so good to me. I want him, but I don't need him. He's not good for me. I don't know what to do. I miss him. I miss the way he wrapped his arms around me, I miss his lips on mine. I miss his smartass comments, I miss riding in his truck and wondering if we'd make it to our destination without his old chevy breaking down. I miss the way he loved God. I miss the way he loved me. I miss being his. how do I get over this? I honestly don't think I will.