A needed Miracle

Emersyn's life is all but easy. She struggles through many trials and tribulations but she does not give up. She keeps her head held high even when her world comes crashing down.

Prologue

Hi, I’m Emersyn and I’m fifteen. I live in Dallas, Texas. I live in a small house with my mom, dad, and brother AJ. I’m really just a normal girl there isn’t really anything special about me. I have a huge softball game tonight.  Right now we are state champions. We are going for the national title. We’re facing a team from North Carolina. I’m really excited. I’ve been playing softball since I was nine years old. I want to be a professional player when I get out of school. 

Chapter 1

I have less than an hour until the game starts. There is a huge crowd here. Everyone is nervous. Our coaches are on edge. The girls we are going up against are good. My brother and mom come down to the dugout to give me my lucky hair bow and a Gatorade. I  haven’t played a game this season without my bow. As the minutes start ticking away I get more and more nervous. The coaches enter the dugout and give us a pep talk as the final minutes before the first inning start to draw near. There is a level of nervousness in the coaches’ voices. I can hear the shakiness of the man standing in front of me in his words. I know he believes in us though. After he finishes his speech, we get our helmets on and get ready to bat. My friend Anna is first to the bat, she hits a home run. The crowd is roaring. I was the next up to the bat. As I go out to the home plate, I can feel my legs shaking, not to the point that I am going fall but just enough that I can tell. As I get into position, I’m trying not to look at the crowd that is looking down on me from the stands. When the pitcher throws the ball, I swing and hit it straight up the middle. As I’m running around the bases, the sounds of my cleats slamming against the dirt is drowning out the noise everyone’s cheers. As I get back to the home plate, I can barely breathe. This doesn’t usually happen. As I walk to the dugout, everything gets blurry, the field starts to spin. As the field is spinning, my body hits the hard ground and everything goes black. After a few seconds the world comes back to me, AJ runs over and screams at someone to call 911. I am really scared, I have no idea what the heck is wrong with me. I am still laying on the field. The game has stopped. My parents rush down and wait with me until the ambulance gets here. I hear the blaring sirens. As they get closer, I try to raise my head to see where it's coming from. I’m able to lift my head just enough to see the stretcher that the paramedics are rolling over towards me. The coaches are by my side as I am being put into the ambulance. They tell me how proud of me they are. I try not to cry as I hear that the coaches decide to forfeit because the other girls are distraught. I just cost my team the national championship. I will never forgive myself. 

Chapter 2

We just arrived at the hospital. I’m extremely weak. As they are roll me into the door, AJ is holding my hand. As I’m being rolled through the hallways, we turn a corner. We go into a room, it has a bunch of animals on the wall. I hate that I still have to be in the pediatric part of the hospital. I’m fifteen now, I should be able to be in the adult emergency department. As I’m laying on the bed in the room, My mom is pacing back and forth, My dad has gone downstairs to get food. AJ is still holding my hand. I’m still struggling to breathe. I hear a knock at the door, A doctor who is probably in his late 20’s enters the room. His smooth voice says “ We need to take you for testing, we have to figure out what made you collapse”. As he gets me ready to go and do an MRI, I am surprisingly calm. I am also extremely weak. We go into a room where he lays me in a tube, and he tells me to relax. 

As I lay there, he speaks into a microphone so I can hear him from behind the glass. He tells me that the tube is going to move up and down around me. As he starts the machine, I just close my eyes and relax. As soon as it’s over, he comes in and gets me. He tells me that I did a great job, I honestly don’t know what there was to do, All I did was lay there. As I go back into my room, My mom and dad are sitting there anxiously waiting. I try  to sleep but I get awakened by a doctor who comes in to give us results. 

The same doctor who came in earlier is the one who took me to do the tests. Using the same smooth voice, with a hint of urgency, tells us that my life is going to change. I have cancer. It’s in my lungs, hearing those words come out of his mouth burns a hole in my soul, I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, My mom comes over and hugs me. AJ rushes out of the room. The doctor is almost in tears as he is watching our reactions. He says to us “ I’m really sorry. I hate that I had to tell you this. I’m gonna let y'all process this and I’ll be back in a little bit to discuss treatment plans. As the doctor walks out, AJ comes back in, as we’re sitting in the room in silence, all I can think about is my future, well the future I may or may not have. My mom, dad, AJ, and I held hands and prayed. As we raise our heads from praying, we hear a knock at the door. The doctor tells me that I can’t go home yet. They decided that I was going to start chemo in the morning. The doctor asked my parents to go into a conference room to discuss what’s going to happen with the chemo. As AJ and I are sitting together in the room, He gets on the bed with me and holds my hand, he also lets me put my head on his shoulder. I feel my eyes getting heavy, as I drift off, I forget about the news I was just given. 

Chapter 3

As I wake up this morning, AJ is still sleeping. He had let me sleep on his shoulder all night. I know that sounds weird since he’s my brother but I honestly don’t think I could’ve slept without him. Having a brother who would do that for me is amazing. I need it right now more than ever. 

As I start moving around, a nurse comes in. she tells me that I have to go and do chemo. I have no idea where my parents are though. I don’t want to do my first round without them. I don’t even know what the heck it is. The nurse puts me into a wheelchair, she rolls me down the hall, AJ is following closely behind. After a little bit of walking, the nurse turns into a room. The nurse parks me next to an IV unit and pulls up a chair for AJ. As the nurse was about to put the IV in, my parents walked in. 

I honestly don’t want to see them but I’m scared so I’m not going to complain right now. I hate needles so much. As the nurse puts the IV in my arm, I hold back the tears as much as I can As I sit and watch the dripping of the IV, my parents tell AJ and I that dad has lost his job. His company has lost all their business and has failed. Now I feel like I’m cursed. It seems like everything is going wrong. 

After my chemo is done, my family helps me settle back into my bed. My dad tells us he has to leave. I have no idea where he is going but he says he’ll be back. A few hours later,  mom decides that she wants to go get some food from the cafeteria, AJ refuses to leave my side. Right as I fall asleep, Mom walks into the room. I wake up so I can talk to her. She has a look of disappointment in her eyes. I didn’t say anything but I give her the look I usually give her when I can tell there is something wrong. She starts telling AJ and I that she just got a call from dad. He's leaving and not coming back. Hearing that really hits me hard. So much has happened in the last couple of days. Mom doesn’t tell me that it is because of me, but I can tell. Ever since I got diagnosed, my dad hasn’t looked at me the same way. 

I awoke this morning to AJ talking to a nurse, I hear his shaky rough voice saying “ I love Emersyn so much, I honestly don’t know what I’ll do if I lose her. She’s the best sister I could ever ask for. I’m not going to leave her side while she’s here.” As I’m hearing those words, I can feel the tears running down my face. He doesn’t notice I was awake until the nurse walks out. He looks over at me and smiles, he asks me how much I had heard. I tell him that I heard everything, He makes me promise that I would never speak of the words he had said. My mom comes in shortly after, she tells us that she had just gotten off the phone with dad. He was living in a condo in Houston. As Mom tells us that, I can’t help but think that I am the reason he left. Mom has been spending a lot of time at the hospital with me and dad got mad. I try not to think about him though. As I’m eating something for the first time in three days, my doctor comes in. He asks me how I’m doing. I tell him that I’m very sore. He then tells me that I’m good to go home. I’m really happy. I hate this hospital. I miss my own bed so much. As I’m getting discharged, AJ helps me into a wheelchair. He pushes me out to the car. As we are driving down the road to go back home, I look at the bruises on my arms from the IVs. they are all over my arms. As we pull up to my house, an idea pops into my head. I don't want the chemo to take my hair. I want to lose it on my own terms. I mention to mom that I’m ready to shave my head. She doesn't seem exactly pleased, but she understands. AJ then says that he would shave his head too. My mom pulls back out the driveway and takes us to her friend’s salon. As we pull up to the building, I can feel my heart pounding. I love my hair so much, but I’m not going to let cancer control my life. As we’re walking in, mom makes me put on my mask. When we walk in the door, her friend Brooke comes straight over. Mom had already told her about the diagnosis. As Brooke and my mom are talking, Brooke brings up a really good idea, she says I can shave my head and send the hair to get a wig made that will be mine. I honestly had never thought about that. As I go and sit in the chair, my mind starts racing, “am I even gonna look right? Am I gonna look human? Will people at school make fun of me? What will they think?” are all voices in my head that wouldn’t shut up. I finally muster up the courage to tell her that I was ready. Brooke ties my hair into ponytails. AJ can tell by the way I’m picking at my nails just how nervous I am and comes over and grabs my hand. He tries to make me laugh by making a dumb joke about a fake noodle but it doesn’t work. He gives up and sits down beside me,  Once I hear the slice of the scissors cut into one of the ponytails, I cry. I’ve been holding this pain in since the diagnosis. I ask  AJ, “ what did I do to make dad leave, am I not good enough? Did I do something wrong? Why doesn’t he want me? I want to live a normal life, but with cancer, I can’t. Without a dad at home, I can’t.” I realize that I have completely broken down. The next thing I know, AJ wraps his body around mine and just holds me as I sob. I look over to mom, and she has tears rolling down her face also. I motion her to come join our hug. I feel bad for what I said. I’m so thankful for my brother and mom. I know they want me and love me. I feel like I sound selfish. I just don’t want to be known as the girl who has cancer and the girl whose dad left her. I want to stay close with mom and AJ like this forever, lately, we have bonded so much and have gotten so much closer.   Brooke goes and gets tissues for me. AJ takes his hand and wipes the tears off of my face. Brooke then hands me the ponytail. As soon as she cuts all the ponytails off, she lets me put them in the bags. As I look at the blonde locks, I realize I’m doing what's best for me. I’m not letting cancer get the best of me. As Brooke shaves the rest off, I feel really good about what I’m doing. After I am done, AJ gets up on the chair. I honestly never thought that he would do this for me. He loves his hair. I guess that just shows how much he loves me. I’m really tired now. I’m ready to go home and sleep. When we pull up at home, I feel really weak. I don’t think I can walk from the car to the house. I tell AJ this and he doesn’t hesitate to pick me up and carry me to my bed. As he puts me down, He tucks me in and tells me that if I needed anything just to text him or something. I wake up around 5:30. I apparently slept for a while. When I pick up my phone, I see a bunch of text messages. They are all from the girls on my softball team.  they are all telling me that they are praying for me through this hard time. I quickly turn my phone off and throw it down on the floor.I slam my hands into the fuzzy pillow that sits in my lap. I don’t want people to pity me. I want to live a normal life. 

Chapter 4

I’m going to do another treatment this morning. I hate the bruises on my arms. I look like I’m getting abused. I can already tell that the chemo is taking over my body. I’ve lost twelve pounds so far. I haven’t been able to eat much at all. The top layer of my skin is slowly starting to peel off. AJ is coming to my treatment again today. He has really been there for me ever since the diagnosis. Mom picked up another job so my medical bills can get paid. I know she is doing everything she can for us, so  I’m fine with her not being there. I have to spend the night after my chemo so I can do a scan tomorrow morning. As I’m sitting by the IV, I’m trying to get comfortable. AJ tells me he’ll be right back. When he comes back, he is holding a puppy. He tells me that the puppy was a new therapy dog. As I pet him, I feel my skin which is already itchy and flaky, start burning. Then I feel my chest tighten. I try to get the words out to AJ to go and get a doctor, but my throat starts to close up. As I’m gasping for breath, AJ runs as fast as he can to get someone to help me. When the doctor comes running in, my airway is almost completely closed. The room is getting darker and darker. As the doctor is trying to get medicine into the IV he just started, AJ is calling mom. Once the doctor gets the medicine into my system, I black out. I can’t tell if I’m breathing but I can hear everything . I hear AJ sobbing. In between his sobs I hear him begging the doctor to save me. Now, I can’t hear anything. I think I’m dead. I’m in heaven. It’s bright. Next thing I know, I’m gasping as I bring in a breath. I open my eyes and find the doctor standing over me. I’m not dead. I’m right back in this room. I lift my head to try and find AJ. the doctor tells me that he went out to find mom, she was parked outside. As I’m sitting in a wheelchair, still breathing heavily, I hear mom’s voice. She’s asking people where her baby is. When she enters the room, I can see her mascara running down her face. AJ comes in behind her, his face is extremely red. They decide to move my scan up to tonight because of what happened today, so after my treatment, I have to go do a scan. I watch the steady drip of the medication go into my IV. I  try not to think about the episode. After fifteen minutes I start feeling better but still extremely weak. When I see the last drip go into my IV, the doctor walks in. He’s ready to take me for my scan. As I lay on the tube, I start thinking about what  happened earlier, there had to be a reason for it. Something is wrong, and by wrong, I mean really wrong. I can feel it. I lay there trying to show no emotion, but I am falling apart, I go through the tube and as soon as it is over, I ask to go back to my room so I can get some sleep. As I get back into bed, I anxiously wait with AJ and mom for my results. AJ gets in the bed with me and lets me sleep with my head on his shoulder. I sleep for a few hours, then I hear the door open, the doctor comes in with the hospital’s pastor. I have a bad feeling about this. He and the pastor sit down at the foot of the bed and ask us to pay close attention. I look into his dark blueish gray eyes. He tells us that the cancer is spreading to other parts of my body. There isn’t any way to stop the spreading either, it is too far along. The words I hear next are what completely wreck me. He tells me that I have six months or less to live. As those words repeat in my head, I completely break down, AJ holds me for a long time, Mom doesn’t show much emotion on the outside but I have a feeling she is falling apart on the inside. 

Chapter 5

As I’m trying to go to sleep tonight, the doctor’s words are still repeating in my head. That’s when I realize, I’m not trusting the right person. I have completely turned away from God. I trust the doctors too much. I am focusing on the pain I am in and not the God I serve. How can I be so stupid? When Mom leaves for work, I tell AJ that I need to pray, but I have to do it out loud. He grabs my hand and tells me to go ahead, “God, I need you bad, I’m sorry I got my focus off, right now I’m physically hurting. I need healing. I want to live for you, God. I’m asking you to heal me father, If you don’t do it for me, do it for my family. I don’t want to leave this earth yet but if it’s your will, then let it be done. I’m turning my worries over to you God. I know you can handle them, In your awesome and holy name amen.” by the time I’m done, I have tears rolling down my face. As I pull myself together, AJ pulls out his guitar. He starts playing my favorite song. Reckless Love by Cory Asbury. I start singing along. Soon, We’re both singing pretty loudly. When we finish the song, I hear applause from the hallway. I feel myself smile for the first time since my diagnosis. When the nurse comes in and gives me my medicine, she asks if AJ and I would come and sing in the commons area. As crazy as it sounds, we say yes. As we go into the commons area, AJ parks my wheelchair and he starts strumming his guitar. As we sing, I see people coming up. More and more people join. When I stop singing, all I see is smiles. I feel so good. I’m glad I get to make people smile. When AJ and I go back to the room, I get in bed. I’m really hungry for once. It’s the first time I’ve actually felt hungry since I got told that I only had 6 months to live. A nurse comes through the door carrying a tray of spaghetti and meatballs. The smell of it instantly fills the room. As I dig into it, AJ looks at me like he wants something, I finally tell him just to get over here, luckily the nurse brought two forks. As we’re eating, I hear a slurp, I look over at AJ and see that he has tomato sauce all over his face. I can’t help but bust out laughing. When I take my last bite, I decide that I want to get out of my room, I talk AJ into pushing me around the hospital. Once I get my mask on, I ask him to take me up to the maternity ward so I can see the babies. As we go back down to the pediatric floor, AJ’s phone rang, as he looks at the screen, he reads the name out loud. It was our dad. As AJ answers the phone, I sit quietly so I can hear what he was saying. I hear him ask about me. It is when dad asks about me that AJ loses. He says “ dad, you act like you care, but you don’t. If you cared how she was doing then you wouldn’t have left. You left her when she needed you most. You are a terrible father and I don’t want anything to do with you”. After he finishes his sentence, AJ hangs up the phone. When we get back to the room, the doctor was waiting to take me to do my scan, on our way down the hall, I pray for good results. When I lay in the tube, I try my best to relax my mind. Once the scan is over, I go back to my room and try to take a nap so I can get my mind off of the results. About an hour later, I wake up to a knock at the door. The doctor asks AJ to step into the hallway with him. A few moments later, AJ comes back in with a big smile on his face, he refuses to tell me why he is smiling though. He tells me he’ll be back and walks out the door. As I sit in silence, my mind is racing, I have no idea what’s going on. I’m hoping that it has something to do with my scan.  A few moments pass by, then AJ comes back. He isn’t the only one who comes in, mom comes through the door also.  As I’m trying to figure out what’s going on, the doctor walks in the door. Everyone is smiling. I have no idea why. After closing the door, My doctor tells us that I am cancer free. There isn’t a sign of cancer anywhere in my body. As I hear those words, I lose the ability to hold my emotions in. I feel tears running down my face. God has given me a second chance. The doctor calls it a miracle. He also tells me that I’m good to go home. Mom leaves AJ and I alone in the room for a little bit so she can go get me some clothes to put on. As AJ and I sit in the room, we talk about the prayer I prayed after finding out I only had six months. I know God works in miraculous ways, but I honestly didn’t think it would be this fast. I made a promise to God. I told him that if he were to give me a second chance then I would live for him and share my faith. When mom gets back with my clothes, she brings me a surprise. My wig had been delivered while she was at work. When she grabbed my clothes she brought it with her. When I see it on my head for the first time, I can’t even tell that it’s a wig. Then mom puts my lucky bow in it. I love it so much. 

I wake up this morning in my own bed. I missed it so much. I’m so happy to be home. I go downstairs and mom has breakfast ready. I missed the home cooked meals the most. As we eat, I ask mom if I can speak at church this morning. I have to tell my story of how God healed me. He needed the recognition. Mom thinks it’s a good idea, she calls the pastor and gets permission.  When mom hangs up the phone, she says that the pastor is more than okay with me speaking. After I finish eating, I go into my closet and pick out something to wear. I still have bruises from the IVs on arms. I don’t really want to wear anything with short sleeves. I finally pick out a long sleeve dress that has flowers on it. After I get dressed, I go downstairs and find AJ wearing a purple button up. He looks so good. After mom comes downstairs we get into the car and go to church. 

Chapter 6

I enter the front doors of the church with a sense of nervousness. This is the first time I’ve been in a big crowd since the softball game. As people see me, they stop and ask me how I’m doing. I give everyone the same bland answer. “I’m doing good”. As we sit down, the pastor walks up to the pulpit. As he says “good morning”, I pick at my nails because I know I’m about to get up and speak in front of this crowd. The pastor asks us to bow our heads. He says “ Lord, I want to come to you and ask you to bless everyone here today. I ask that you be with everyone who is hurting. Be with Emersyn as she comes and tells us her story. I know it’s going to be hard for her. We love and praise you, Lord, in your name, amen.” After we open our eyes, he calls me to the pulpit. When I get up there, I take the microphone from his hand, I look around at everyone sitting in the pews. I begin to speak. “Hi, most of you know me but I’m going to introduce myself anyway. I’m Emersyn Hope Wilson. I’m fifteen years old and I’m really excited to get to share my story with you all today. As many of you heard I was diagnosed with lung cancer four months ago. I played on the softball team at Briarwood Middle School. We were playing the national championships, I had just hit a home run. As I was approaching home plate, I collapsed. I was rushed to the emergency room. That’s where I got the news that changed my life. Shortly after my diagnosis, My dad lost his job. My medical bills were extremely expensive. As the bills got higher and I got sicker, My dad left us. I want to take a quick minute and say that my brother AJ has been there since the very beginning. The first night I was in the hospital, he let me sleep with my head on his shoulder. Okay, back on topic, After my dad left, My mom being the amazing woman she is, took on a second job to help pay for my medical bills. After spending the night in the hospital I got to go home. I then made a decision that cancer wasn’t going to control my life. I decided that I was going to shave my head. I sent my hair to be made as a wig for me to wear. AJ also shaved his head. Have I mentioned, I have the best brother ever? Anyway, I went into the hospital for chemo a few weeks later. I was sitting there loving on the new therapy dog, and I started having trouble breathing. My throat started closing up and I blacked out. That was when I got some terrible news. My cancer had spread to other parts of my body and was slowly killing me. They told me I had six months to live. After getting this news, I had really started thinking. I realized that I had not been praying and relying on God. I had put all my trust in the doctors. So while I was in my room, I prayed. I asked God to heal me. I told him that I trusted him and for his will to be done. I asked him to heal me, not for me but for my family. I had a scan a few weeks later. Yesterday when we got the results, I was one hundred percent cancer free, there wasn’t any sign of cancer in my body. The doctors called it a miracle. I call it a work of God. so last night I got to come home, I prayed again. I prayed thanking God for everything he did this last four months. He then laid it on my heart to come here this morning and speak about what he did for me. I wanted to share my story, not for fame, but to show just how wonderful our amazing God is. I want to thank our pastor for letting me come and speak this morning.” as I walk off the stage, everyone stands and applauds. When I get to where my mom and AJ were sitting, they both hug me. After church is over, many people come up to me to tell me that I was brave for getting up and speaking about my experience. 

Chapter 7

I’m going back to the doctor’s this morning. I’m having another scan to make sure the cancer hasn’t come back. I sit in the waiting room anxiously waiting for the doctor to come out and call my name. AJ has gone to Starbucks to get me a drink. About an hour after waiting, a doctor comes into the waiting room and calls my name. My mom, AJ and I all walk back. As the doctor is doing the scan, he asks me questions on how I’ve been doing. I tell him that I’ve been doing a lot better. Once the scan is done, the doctor tells us it’ll be about ten minutes until we get results so we go back into the waiting room. AJ and I are trying to keep our minds busy by playing checkers. Once ten minutes go by, the doctor comes and asks us to come back with him. I can feel my heart beating out of my chest. I have no idea if he has good news or bad news. When we get to a room, there is a picture of my lungs hanging on the wall. He then tells us that there is still no sign of cancer. My mom, AJ and I all let out a sigh of relief in unison. When we leave the doctor’s office, we go to Bojangles to get some food. After we leave, we go home, when we pull up at the house, we see a car in the driveway. It’s my dad’s car. I don’t want to see him. Mom tells AJ and I to stay in the car and lock the doors. Mom goes inside and we sit in the car. AJ tries to lighten the situation by turning on music. As we’re singing along to a one direction song, mom comes out of the house,she looks terrfied. AJ gets out of the car, mom yells at him to get back in, When AJ gets into the car, dad comes storming out of the house with one of my softball bats, he walks up behind mom and hits her in the back of the head, when I see her fall to the ground, I start  to get out, AJ quickly stops me. He pushes me back into the car and locks the door behind him. AJ runs over and pushes dad away from mom. I reach for the phone and dial 911. A few moments later, the police arrive and an ambulance. I get out of the car and meet the police officer. He asks me what happened. I tell him about how dad left a few months before. Then I tell him about what happened today. He walks over to AJ and my dad and gets dad to walk with him. I walk over to AJ and give him a hug. He apologizes that I had to see it. I can tell he is scared. The ambulance takes my mom to the hospital and we follow behind them. When we arrive at the hospital, we go to the emergency floor. I haven’t been back here since my diagnosis. I’m focusing on mom though. As we walk up to a lady sitting behind a desk, AJ asks her where mom is. When we walk into her room, she has a bag of ice on her head. Her doctor tells her that she has a concussion. A police officer walks in and starts asking us questions. They are trying to find out information so they can arrest my dad. The officer asks me if I knew where he was living. All I tell him is that I knew he was living in a condo in Houston. After the officer leaves, the doctor comes in and tells us that mom is ready to go home. When we get to the house, AJ and I help mom into her bedroom. She lays down on her bed and goes to sleep. AJ and I then go into the living room and turn the tv on. The first thing I see is my dad’s face. The news is trying to help the police look for him. In his picture, I see a different man than the one I had known for fifteen years. He looks angry. Something has changed in him. He has gone from a loving family man to an angry man who cares for nothing but himself. I can’t look at the picture anymore, I reach for the remote and change the channel. All I see on every channel is his face. I turn the tv off. I then hear mom call my name. I rise from the couch and walk into her room. She asks me to sit down. I sit beside her on the bed. She asks me to open up to her. She tells me that I have to talk in order to make things any better. She then asks me a question, she asks me how I feel about my dad. I sit in silence for a few minutes but then I feel her gaze on me. I say to her “ mom, I honestly want nothing to do with him. He walked away from me when I needed him the most. I was dying and he wasn’t there. I don’t want to say I hate him, but I don’t trust him, especially after what he did today. In my mind, I believe that if he wanted to be a part of my life then he wouldn’t have left in the first place. He can’t just come back around when it’s convenient for him.” she looks at me in awe. “ Honey, I didn’t know you felt this way. I think it would be good that you talk to someone,” she replies. I tell her how much I hate the idea, although she thinks that it would help me, she lets me decide. 

I wake up this morning to the ring of my phone. I reach over to the night side stand and pick it up. It’s  mom. She left for work early this morning, leaving AJ and I to hang out at the house. I answer the phone and she tells me that she has good news. She tells me that we don’t have to worry about dad bothering us anymore. He was arrested just outside of Dallas. Then she gives me some bad news. AJ and I both have to testify against him since we saw the assault. Once I hang up, I run the scenario of testifying in front of my dad. I can see that it’s not going to be a positive situation. I get up and go wake AJ up. When I go into his room, I find him looking at a letter. I quickly grab it from his hand, he jumps up fast “ Emersyn quit” he yells as I read the letter. The letter is titled Liberty University. As I keep reading, I realize that its an acceptance letter. My big brother has gotten into an amazing school. Then it hits me. Liberty is seventeen hours away from here. My heart sinks. My best friend is going to to be moving seventeen hours away. He tells me that the move-in date is August 11th. That is three weeks away. I ask him why he didn’t tell me before. He tells me that he knosw I am hurt by dad leaving and he doesn’t want to do the same thing to me. I feel tears running down my face. AJ grabs me and pulls me into a tight hug, I never want him to let me go. He is the best brother I can ever ask for. Once he lets go, he calls mom and tells her that he got accepted. I can hear her scream through the phone. After they finish talking, AJ and I decide that we want to go on a walk. There is a park less than a mile away from our house. When we arrive, he takes off running towards the swings. I try and race him there but he beats me. As we’re sitting there swinging, my mind goes back to a time when we were kids, we were at this very park swinging, he had jumped off the swing so I thought I would try it too. I ended up face planting in the mulch. When AJ realizes that I’m staring at him, he smiles slightly, he then says, “ remember when you tried copying me by jumping off the swing and you totally face planted”. I tell him that I was just thinking about that. He jokes that we can read each other’s mind now because we are so close. As I look at him more and more, I realize I’m only three weeks away from losing him. I’m so happy that he’s successful and is going to be living his dream but I wish there is a way he can do it without having to be seventeen hours away. 

Chapter 8

I wake up this morning and realize that today is the day, AJ and I have to go to court. We have to testify against our dad. As mom helps me get ready, she tells me how beautiful I am. As I put on my dress, I look in the mirror, I tell myself that I am strong, I am brave and I will not back down when I look into my father’s eyes. When I see AJ come out of his room, I stop and ask him to hold my hand and pray with me. I start praying, I say “ God, AJ and I both need you right now. We need you to help us stay strong as we face our dad. We need you to hold our hands and guide us. In your awesome and holy name, Amen.  

As AJ, Mom and I enter the courthouse, we go through security. We walk down a hallway and turn, we go into a room and find the district attorney. He tells us that we have about fifteen minutes until we are going to be asked to take the stand. Then, the judge comes out, we sit in silence. Luckily we are the first case to be called. My dad comes out of the back, It’s the first time I’ve seen him since that day at the house. When the attorney calls me up, I first place my hand on the bible and swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. The attorney then asks me to tell him what happened. I say “ well sir, Mr. Wilson walked out on my family when I was diagnosed with lung cancer. I had recently gotten told I was cancer free after being told I had six months to live. When we came back from my scan to make sure I was still cancer free, his car was in the driveway. Mom went into the house. She told AJ and I that we needed to stay in the car. A few minutes later, she came back out. Mr. Wilson, came storming out behind her. As she walked  towards the car, Mr. Wilson had one of my softball bats in his hand and he smacked her in the back of the head, AJ got out and got him away from mom. AJ was not violent with him at all. Before the police got there, Mr. Wilson got in his car and sped away. The judge asks me to step down. He then says that he has enough information to charge him with assault on a female with intent to kill. The judge then says that he must serve five years in jail. 

I’m helping AJ pack for college this morning. I’m sitting in his room packing up all of his trophies from football. In his senior year, his team was state champions. As I’m packing his stuff, I find a picture. It’s of me and him together. Mom had taken it seven years ago. I never realized that he kept it. He walks in and sees me holding it. I say “ wow, I didn’t know this picture meant so much to you”. He replies “ yea, I actually still remember what we’re doing in this picture. We had just gotten ice cream. You had just stopped crying because you dropped your ice cream. I ended up giving you half of mine.” we both laugh. As we pack his clothes, he throws one of his shirts at me. He says that I should keep it, and when I miss him to just get his shirt out. We have less than a week until we’re going to be taking him to Virginia for his next chapter in life. When he grabs his calendar off the wall, he gets really excited. Then I realize why. Tomorrow is my sixteenth birthday. He tells me to stop what I’m doing, he then calls mom and tells her that he’s taking me to the mall. When we get there, he tells me that the first place he wants to take me is a prom dress store. I have no idea why. The first one I see that I love is a teal dress. I try it on. When I tell AJ that I love it, he tells the cashier that we’ll take it. I’m honestly so confused. He then tells me not to change out of it. He then grabs a tiara and puts it on my head. He then walks me out of the store and outside to a limo. He and I got into it together. On our way to wherever we are going, AJ changes into a suit. When we feel the limo stop, he gets out and comes around to open the door for me. I get out and just outside, I see a barn, all the lights are off though. As AJ and I walk in, everyone pops out from under tables and behind counters. All the girls on my softball team are here. Mom is here also. AJ and mom had planned everything. I can’t believe that I didn’t see it coming, AJ was acting super weird when he told mom that he was taking me to the mall. As I’m sitting down talking to my friends, someone comes in. the face I see nearly makes me fall to my knees. Hunter Hayes is here, at my birthday party. I can’t believe it. He grabs his guitar and starts singing into a microphone, he then asks me to come up and sing with him. He had heard that I loved to sing and was pretty good at it. As I stand up there and start singing, he stops and tells me to continue. He looks at me in shock at how good I am. As it gets later, the crowd gets smaller. Once everyone is gone, Hunter and I take a second to talk. He thinks that  I would be really good in the country music business. I tell him that I love singing but I don’t have the confidence for that. He is really understanding and if I ever change mind to just let him know. 

Chapter 9

Today is the day. We’re packing AJ’s stuff in the car and taking him to school today. I can already tell that it’s going to be an emotional day. I decide to wear the shirt that he had thrown at me the other day. It smells like him. As we pack the car, AJ and I are still playing around like we always do. Once we get everything in the car, we all climb in and start our seventeen-hour journey. As we’re riding, I replay every good memory in my head. I then feel a single tear roll down my face. AJ looks over and then he grabs my hand. He says “ no matter how far away I am, I will always be there for you and will love you the same.” he hugs me.  Five hours later, we get out at a restaurant, we go in and grab food to take on the road with us. As we get back on the road, mom starts talking about AJ’s future. She says that he’s getting an amazing opportunity with being accepted into Liberty.  

When we get to the school, the campus is bigger than I thought it would be. It’s huge. We walk up to an admission desk and AJ tells the lady his name. After the lady tells AJ what dorm he is in, we go get stuff from the car. Once we get everything into his room, we help him put everything away. I’m trying to be as slow as I can honestly. I don’t want to leave him quite yet. Before we leave, we decide to tour the school with him. As people are showing us around, AJ is becoming more distant from us. He isn’t walking as close or talking to us as much. I only wish I could see what was going through his mind. Once we finish the tour, mom decides that it's time to get on the road. I can’t do it. I can’t leave my brother. He was there for me through the fight for my life. He walks us out to the car. Mom is trying to stay strong for him. I can’t pretend I’m okay. I’m going to be lost without him around all the time. I’m starting tenth grade without him. He picks me up and wraps his arms around me. I don’t want to let go but then he puts me down. I have tears streaming down my face. I know I have to let him move on though. He tells me to call him anytime I needed him, no matter what time it was. As I get into the car, he leans in the window and gives me a kiss on the cheek. I then hand him my lucky bow. He looks at me like I’m crazy, I had never played a game without it. I tell him that as long as I know that it’s safe with him, that I’ll be okay. As mom and I pull away, I look at him in the rearview mirror, I can’t dry my tears, They just keep streaming down my face. 

I’m starting tenth grade today. It’s been three weeks since I last saw AJ. I miss him so much. I miss having someone to joke around with. I sleep with his shirt on my bed every night. I get up and decide that I’m gonna wear his football jersey to school. Not because I want to show off but because I love my brother so much. When I get to school, I go to first period and meet all my new teachers. At lunch, I sat with the softball team. Tenth grade really isn’t all that different from ninth grade. I have some of the same teachers that AJ had. They’ve been asking me how he’s been doing. I just tell them that he’s happy. 

Chapter 10

I walk into third period on my second day of school,  I sit down right beside my friend Blake, I take out my notes and start on the assignment posted on Google Classroom. About fifteen minutes into class, a raspy voice comes over the intercom asking me to come to the office. I walk into the office door and see a police officer and the guidance counselor. My mind starts racing, I haven’t done anything wrong. The first thing I think about is mom, I wonder if something happened to her. We enter a small room in the back of the office, it smells of books. I then notice the wall of books in the back. As I sit down in the old cushioned chair, the counselor says “I have some bad news.” As I hear the words, “ bad news” I try to focus on the purple clock ticking in the corner of the room.

 “I’m sorry to have to tell you this but AJ was found dead in his dorm this morning. He killed himself last night. There was a letter. It says and I quote,” Dear Emersyn I’m sorry for leaving you like this. No one accepted me here. I was alone all the time. Soon the demons in my mind told me that I wasn’t worth anything and that nobody wanted me. They also told me that I would be better off dead. I had to end the voices, I’m sorry. I love you so much. Don’t blame yourself. Signed, AJ. “

“No, It can’t be true”, I say 

Then, I smell popcorn. I can’t bear it right now. AJ and I used to always eat popcorn while playing board games on Sunday afternoons after church. Hearing the words “he’s gone” destroy me. I feel every hair on my body stand up and a chill go down my spine.  My brother is gone. I wasn’t there to help him when he needed it most. I despise myself for not being there. My mom comes and picks me up from school. In the car, I sit in silence. The only thing I hear is Reckless Love on the radio. I quickly turn it off,  I pinch myself trying to wake myself up because I am certain that I am in a nightmare, no I am in a terrible reality. My big brother is gone. I cry out to God tonight, I know everything happens for a reason, but I just can’t find a reason for this. I can’t find a reason for the mental suffering that my brother had to endure. All I can picture in my head is him taking his last breath alone with no one there to comfort him. Before I go to bed tonight, Mom and I sit down to talk. 

“Honey, I know this is hard for you. We need to talk about it so we don’t ball our feelings up inside.”  Mom says trying to get me to open up. 

“ mom, I’m fine. I just need some time to process what’s going on. I reply blankly

“ let's at least talk about AJ, you need to know that he loved you so much. None of this had anything to do with you. 

“ mom, I really just wanna go to bed, I can’t talk about this right now” I reply, almost in tears.

Chapter 11

 I lie awake, it’s four in the morning, I can’t sleep. I honestly don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep for a while. I then remember I have AJ’ shirt in my closet, I pull it out. It still smells like the cologne he used to wear. I wrap my arms around it and eventually drift to sleep. 

I wake up, It’s 7:30. I decide to get up and take a walk. I write a note and stick it to mom’s night side stand, usually I’d stick it to her forehead but I wasn’t in the mood for jokes. After I leave the note, I walk into AJ’s room. His stuff is scattered everywhere. It looks like mom had tried going through some of it but ended up throwing most of it on the ground, as I step over his clothes, I make my way over to the closet. There I find his guitar. I grab the case, I go outside and start walking, when I get to the park, I sit down on the swing that AJ and I been on just a little over a month before. I pull the instrument out and begin picking at the wire strings. I haven’t played in a while so I have to refresh my memory. I start playing a tune, at first it didn’t sound familiar but as I got farther into it, I could hear the tune of reckless love. As I start singing, my mind goes back to when I was in the hospital. When AJ and I had sang in the commons area. I try to smile, but the tears rolling down my face won’t let me. I just sit there for a few hours. I reminisce on the good times I got to share with my brother.  

God gave me the miracle I needed . Maybe AJ needed a miracle too. Maybe he wasn’t meant to be here long. He lived his life on Earth as long as he was supposed to.  AJ was the best brother any girl could ask for. He was there for me through everything. I have to let it go though, He’s gone, I have to accept it. But AJ, I promise you, I will live for you. I will be the best person I can be. I will make you proud. I will take care of mom. I will make sure I live my dream. I will do everything you couldn’t. I will live for you.  I love you so much. I will take down the demons that took you over. I will stand up for the voiceless, I will help the lost find where they belong. That's my promise to you AJ and I will fulfill that promise.  

Chapter 12

Today is the day, I’m laying my big brother to rest. I slide on a dress. It has all of AJ’s favorite colors in it blue, purple, red and black. When Mom and I get to the church, the pastor meets us by the door. He leads us in and sits us on the front row. A few minutes after, more people file in. as everyone sits down, the pastor makes his way to the pulpit. As he begins to speak, he says

“ AJ was a fine young man, he grew up in this church. He was loved by so many people. He was really there for his sister when she battled lung cancer. He helped his mom when their father walked out. He was just an amazing kid. He did everything he could for his family. Sadly he was taken away too soon. But maybe it was for the better. Heaven is so much better than earth, AJ now gets to live eternally with our heavenly father and I praise that. Now, I’d like to invite AJ’s little sister, Emersyn up here, she has prepared a few words that she’d like to share with you all. 

I reach into my purse and pull out a piece of paper. It’s titled “a needed miracle”.  “ First of all I’d like to thank everyone for coming and celebrating AJ’s time here on earth with us. My mom and I both appreciate it so much. I want to read you something that I wrote on the spur of the moment last night. It’s called a needed miracle, as many of you know, I was diagnosed with lung cancer. As the pastor was saying, AJ was there for me through all of it. I looked for healing within the doctors, When the doctors started losing hope, I prayed, I asked God to heal me. I got told I was cancer free. I thought that was the miracle for about 9 months now. No, I was wrong, the miracle I received was my brother being there to support me through every step of my journey. I was tested in my faith and my family. There were so many times that I could blame my sickness on God, or I could blame dad leaving on any of my family. AJ, I know you can hear me right now, you were a needed miracle  thank you for giving me another chance at life, I honestly believe that without you, I would’ve given up mentally. You pushed me to stay hopeful. You were the miracle that I needed. 

Epilogue

Life isn’t supposed to be easy, we face trials and tribulations every single day. You can choose to let it tear you down or you can stand tall, and overcome your trials. You can’t survive alone, God is the only thing that will get you through life alive. Without Him, miracles wouldn’t be possible. 

Author's Note

I have gone through and fixed basic grammar issues, please be honest in what you think! I want to publish this at some point in the near future so any feedback is appreciated!!

Reviews

[Cat Armstrong]

Really inspiring journey through a young person's intensely tragic adolescent trials. When confronted with plenty of opportunities to lose hope and give up, to be overcome with anger or frustration at the total lack of fairness, she continues to find meaning in the relationships around her.

I think as humans this is the primary conflict we are faced with. Terrible but natural things happen, which is bad enough, but on top of that people act purposefully cruelly-- with malice. That makes it easy to just drop out and that in turn usually gives way to nihilism.

To me, one of the themes you touch on here is the persistent magic of relationships in when faced with merciless life events. Powerful, but not without some pretty severe pathos too.

I know a lot of my writing reflects real events in my life, and whether that's true or not I admire your narrator's courage immensely.

Additionally, I found your characters to be believable and relatable. Your vocabulary is varied and your scenes are aptly described in a visually effective way.

My only criticism, and this is without a doubt the hardest part of writing, is that whenever possible you should show rather than tell. But that's something that mostly happen naturally as you develop as a writer, just some food for thought for you to keep in mind as you keep writing and growing.