i love you

i love you

A Poem by lorynrrr

l love you and you love me

why can't any body see

it does not  who we are as long as

were together under the stars

 my love for you is loving an true

 i would not give it away

unless its okay if i give i to you 

© 2009 lorynrrr


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Reviews

This was really good. I do agree with previous reviews that there are some typographical errors, but that can easily be dealt with. You put really powerful emotion into this. Good job. I plan to read more of your work in the future.

Posted 14 Years Ago


any body
needs to be together: 'anybody'

In this line:
it does not who we are as long as
I think you need to add the word 'matter' between 'not' and 'who'


and the last thing:
In your line:
my love for you is loving an true

Between the words loving AND true you used an.....add a 'd' and make it 'and' , Okay?

Just wanted to point that out to you so you can make your art perfect! LOL

Cheers!



Posted 15 Years Ago


short, sweet, cute, and simple :)
although, I think a word may be missing from this line
it does not who we are as long as

Posted 15 Years Ago



Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

143 Views
3 Reviews
Rating
Added on March 17, 2009

Author

lorynrrr
lorynrrr

louisiana, LA



About
hey my name is loryn and im 13 and i like to sing i have a really good personality god made me cant you see i'v also an awesome family say what just kiddin so this is me i have green eyes dark dirt.. more..

Writing