Essence Blackout

Trying out blackout poetry

There are those who walk the earth

and those lying beneath it

There are those in between

You'll find them above the ground

But not walking

Often, not talking

Feeling constant pain 

or the ache of not feeling at all

Trapped inside a body

It's so affecting how quickly

something becomes nothing

The way impulses conduct brainwaves

instructing hands that build machines

commanding trees to become caskets

which become frames around bodies

pretending to be living

until it's all buried where six feet under

everything is nothing

but earth

Life may be no more than
Experiences affecting perceptions
And I don't even want to be alive
So why are we discussing existence

Author's Note

blackout version of the original

Reviews

[Zac]

You are an artist with words

[Lizzie Mitchell]

oh wow haha thanks so much

[Cassie]

mmhhhhhh....This is really good lizzie, let me read more of you.

[Lizzie Mitchell]

Thank you!

[Ilerah]

I like it, the way you hid the message, and then typed it in red. Really like the whole poem too.

[Lizzie Mitchell]

thank you for reviewing!

[Ilerah]

Your welcome.

[ANTO]

I get it - blackout - redacted . This is very well formed. Never seen this before Lizzie. Creative and cool.

[Lizzie Mitchell]

thanks i follow "makeblackoutpoetry" on instagram and was inspired to try this style myself

[Zac]

I Like how you did this with the poem

[Lizzie Mitchell]

thank you!

[Chris]

I liked the tone and construction... reading it slowly aloud nails the few flaws, I did appreciate the line in red.

[Lizzie Mitchell]

thank you
i'm open to criticism
don't hold back

[Chris]

I didn't hold back... just allowing you to learn a fair way to check your writes that's surprisingly simple and more effective than most realize. When something actually sounds not-quite-right it usually isn't. And stumbles in the flow (when there are any) become readily apparent.