The Mind's Eye

January 26th 2011

Mend, Mend Memories;

you're into the distant darkness

Be a child again

Or move forward to new things

accept that what is done matters no more.

Let go.

Today happens only once.

This bright lit shine, or mist of fog

remains only once, never exactly the same.

Like driving in a 93' infinity with nothing to lose or gain.

The murky smell of dirt is so sweet

a reminder of what is real. 

As the sun descends into abyss,

and the stars show themselves openly,

I remember my first kiss

that one night I wish I could erase. 

Author's Note

Just a rough Draft.. but needed to write. tell me what you think and critique :)

Reviews

[Antonio Valentino]

Today happens only once.
This bright lit shine, or mist of fog
remains only once, never exactly the same.

Like driving in a 93' infinity with nothing to lose or gain.
The murky smell of dirt is so sweet
a reminder of what is real.

As the sun descends into abyss,
and the stars show themselves openly,
I remember my first kiss

that one night I wish I could erase.

This was pretty remarkable. I wouldn't change anything, it is perfect.

Some wonderful writing.
Antonio :)

[Blood_knight3000]

I like it just the way it is. You dont need to change anything. =P

[Emily B]

I like the mix of ethereal and tangible in this work

looking forward to reading more of you

[Emily Rae]

you capture that human tendency to monday-morning-quarterback ourselves quite well here. more importantly, you convey that, each moment is unique and should be fully LIVED.

[WhiteWillow]

Live in the moment. This is a lesson I have a hard time with, though I make an effort. Thanks for the reminder!

[Betweenthekeys]

I felt the melancholy lament over the passage of time when I read your poem...really well written.

[Gheeneil]

The mind's eye keeps on looking back. The feet may have successfully moved forward, but the mind never loses sight of the past. This is interesting.

[Judas Hammer]

The murky smell of dirt is so sweet
a reminder of what is real. I love the positive feeling this portrays. Not only is this poem beautiful but it give something to the reader. I enjoyed this very much. I love the realness.......and honesty

[stars are far]

this is so nice :)

[Miss Kitty]

This is ain incredibly emotive poem, I think & I could cry.

'Today happens only once.
This bright lit shine, or mist of fog
remains only once, never exactly the same.
Like driving in a 93' infinity with nothing to lose or gain.
The murky smell of dirt is so sweet
a reminder of what is real.'

This verse is perfect, PLEASE don't change this!! 'The sun descends into abyss' really signifies a loss of hope and of inner light, was this intentional?
Love it :)
Tc
xX