Missing you

Are we floating in mid air

without any care?

Nostalgic, we recall

what we were 

and how we came to be

before

rekindled broken spirit

with  caked up words 

stimulating sincerity

with open coherence 

orange and yellows danced along our world

never stopping only slowing and pacing

our friendship growing with laughs

and trust

after

nothing is enough

facade upon facade of

deep black and blues

your front door  unyielding

and mine closed in on the past

we are stuck in mid air 

without a care

Author's Note

I didn't intend it to rhyme just wanted to write...

Reviews

[Alessander]

overall, I like it, for many of the reasons others liked it, so I won't be repetitive. There were a few things however that I think you can improve on, imo (and remember, it's only me lol)

Cut down on some of the abstract diction: Broken Spirit, Sincerity, Coherence are in very close proximity to ea other, and disrupt the flow of the poem. Laughs and Trust are other generalities, but not as disruptive, imo.

Maybe reserve the refrain "we were stuck in mid air" for the last line (thus elimanating from the first lines)? Just a possibility, but if you think those are your best lines of the poem, then I would suggest doing so.

Other than that, you do a really good job of creating a tone...

[Hello, Goodbye]

love it.. and effortless delightful read that engages the reader in the most curious of ways..

[200STM]

As your debut piece on this website I liked it very much and I know you went through a difficult time at the time.

[Coyote Poetry]

A very beautiful and hopeful poem. Many strong lines in the poem.
"orange and yellows danced along our world
never stopping only slowing and pacing"
A excellent poem. Thank you.
Coyote

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

this is the class of poetics one experiences/feels more than reads~ it goes beyond visually ingesting finely beaded words~ it goes much deeper into feeling them~ beautifully written~ has the actual feel of breathing~

[Nobody.]

I felt it. the language and word combos are really fresh and interesting in places...I liked the second to last stanza best.
as a whole, I think your really nailed down an honest feeling and dressed it well in poetic prowess.

good stuff.
cheers!

[justice]

I think that Alessander hit the proverbial nail on the head. You have a wonderful voice in this poem and the feeling is fantastic. I think a few of the observations that he made will help this poem. IMO. This is a very good piece as it is. Thank you for sharing! All the best.
J

[Blood_knight3000]

nice poem...your right it all starts simply without a care
Then it seems to fade away
before we could do anyhting about it
=]

[solo2be]

I really love how the poem just flow and the imagery.

[Crowley]

I like the image of being stuck in midair without a care....very fanciful lines, but with a grounding effect of the past. the use of color really makes the painting complete I think. Nice work.