A Wicked Tale

it just came to me.. wrote itself; inspired by the movie the last exorcism.. it scared me so bad lol

The crisp midnight air rams

on the window panes

waking the tired and weary.

Frightened, the little girl

stirs in her coffin like bed

seeing outstretched

monsters, taunting and glaring.

thud, thud, thud.

the window bursts open..

in flies the demon.

Patient, laughing a thunder

taking its time making sure

the girl knows.

It slithers in the sweet skin;

burning tongue

like acid.

The little girl stifles a scream.

He's in Control now.

Mother goes to check on her.

The awful stench of blood and rotten flesh

Catches her attention.

Illuminating the room, she sees

Her little girl floating in the center

Of the room.

The light startles him.

The little body swings vertically and sways side to side.

beautiful hair falls gently from the scalp.

“Daisy, sweetie?,” the mother whispers in horror..

He doesn’t care.. doesn’t stop.

Flesh falls, fingernails turn purple.

The mother almost trips as she grabs her little girl.

He’ll stop for now…

Author's Note

tell me what you think about it.. i know i should add more lol

Reviews

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

The images are enough to scare the hell out of a person. I love the fact that you have not gone into a lot of detail about this monster. Some people will say that it is a flaw of this work, but you have actually given more by doing this. Everyone who reads this poem will have their own version of the monster. By tapping into our personal fears inside, you have found a way to scare the hell out of people by striking the fuse and allowing the reader to do the rest by themselves.

There's a beginning, apex and resolution. I feel the story is complete and by adding too much if you flesh it out..will take away from the value.

[Samantha ~virginpoet]

scary indeed but I liked it great imagery

[The Cute 1]

i like this its good

[The Great Nothing]

An epic piece. Love the beginning, and there's also a lot of other ways you can take in the story than just your typical horror flick. Not sure if that's what you intended, but it works. Great work with the brutal descriptions. :P Do you like horror movies/ stories?

[Another Relic]

Scary, and I feel complete. No need to continue. Nice!

[Michael.]

I like the shock value. xD

[Jeneeness]

i'm scared D:
in a good way ^.^

horror novels? :)
nicely written.

[Frank F. Atanacio]

very strong write--detailed and clever words put together here--you are indeed talented

[Coyote Poetry]

Demons taking over the body would be a long story. I don't believe in those things. If they were true. World would be a wild place. A very good story. I do like the old movies. New ones are overdone. A very good beginning.
Coyote

[Miss Coral]

The end confuses me- the imagery is excellent done... I would work on more consistency in grammar and capitalization. Otherwise, nice piece.

-Coral-