In order for a relationship to evolve into an everlasting matrimony, both spouses must have similar responsibilities, reasonable independence, healthy and honest communication towards one another, and unconditional love.
Society has expectations from a husband and a wife that should be ignored relating to proper roles. For example in “I want a Wife,” by Judy Brady, the writer uses satire to poke fun at society’s norms during the nineteen fifties to make a point about unequal treatment towards wives who “make sure [the] children eat properly” (pg. 277). If a marriage is really about teamwork, the husband should help out his wife with the responsibilities of their own home. The house chores should be divided amongst them so the wife won’t feel demeaning and a mere servant. The home is for both, but this was not so a few decades ago. Society’s view of what a wife should be may encourage men to follow along and be viewed as the right and proper role for a wife to tend to their selfish needs.
Furthermore, an education and a steady job for both individuals create promising results of a marriage. For example, “Karen and her husband Walter are coping with mounting debt and rising tempers,” which is negatively affecting their marriage (Dr. Phil). Once a person matures and finds a way to be on their own and be able to successfully maintain oneself, that’s when they are ready for marriage unlike Walter’s presumed “faith” in their marriage lasting without his help with the bills (Dr. Phil). The providers of the home become stressed and need support when children are involved. Cooking, cleaning, and working are serious responsibilities both spouses must commit to.
Moreover, an enclosing and suffocating box can soon enfold within either a husband or a wife if they are constantly controlled. For example, in “A Doll’s House,” by Henrick Ibsen, the main characters Nora and Trovald become divorced mainly because Nora was treated like a “doll” and resorted to “merely existing to perform tricks” for her husband (pg. 112). She soon could not bear to be in a box, dressed up to please someone whom did not respect her and whom she did not know. Reasonable independence, like being able to talk one’s own opinion, makes a person not feel inferior and being part of the marriage.
What is more, a relationship is not considered valid if communication is canceled out. For example, in my first relationship I never spoke of what I wanted, or how I felt. This became a huge issue because arguments would erupt and negative comments would be said. Without honesty and trust a relationship may feel as if it’s falling apart and isolation makes it worse. In the end I could not return to a person I had been with because I soon found out, the way Nora did, that we were complete strangers and we did not have similar beliefs.
In addition, unconditional love occurs if all the past requirements come naturally. For example, in “Farewell to Arms” the characters loved each other unconditionally because they did not have any selfish means of loving but only wanted to be with each other.
In summation, a long lasting marriage is difficult and complicated so of course time, effort, and love is needed.
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