Grr Grr Grr! Grumble Grumble Grumble!

A short story written for xtra credit in my Math 1000 Class!

As you tossed your cap on your high school graduation night there were a surge of emotions. The most likely was “Thank God I’m done”. And along with that thought was the thought that those classes you struggled in were also far behind you. That icky Math class with the teacher who smelled like bacon was done and gone forever. That evil English class with the teacher who pulled her hair back too tight was over and done with. The only thing you had to do was worry about moving away to college. No more Math, no more English, History, Science or PE.

            Fast forward, its College orientation. You have just received a slip of paper telling you that your ACT/SAT scores in Math were too low. Now you had to take a placement exam to be placed into the right math class. WHAT THE HECK? How could this be? You had just gone through three hard years of math. You had struggled to get even a D on a math exam; and now before classes had even begun, before you had even moved into the dorms, you have to take a math exam! CHEAP!

            Not only that, your English scores were too low as well. You’d have to take a remedial Math and English class for which you were not going to get college credit! Low! Right from the very beginning you realize that college is not everything you dreamed it would be. To add to your ever worsening day, you are handed a stapled packet of paper. On it, it tells you the requirements you’ll have to fulfill to even graduate from college. (Not including what you need to get your degree.)What the heck is an O credit? Or a WA credit? Who came up with this? Unconstitutional! Cruel and unusual punishment! A great injustice has been dealt your way! And while you stare at these atrocious credits, the back of your brain weeps because you have to take at least three classes that you will not get college credit for. LAME!

            Your day has been shot. The idea of making new friends and getting in on that game of Ultimate Frisbee has been shattered. The only thing you can think about is how you are going to survive remedial Math and English. Oh cruel fate, why must you mock us so? Perhaps joining the circus now would be a good idea. After all, it would be a job. But the more you consider it, the more you decide that you want to be a vet, or doctor, or engineer. And you certainly can’t be one without going to college. So you walk back to your assigned dorm room; resigned to the fact that you are indeed not done with Math and English, and will probably spend two years completing the remedial programs. What a bummer.

            You stay up that night, unable to sleep as the images of WA, O, P, N, Z, WB credits glare at you from the depths of your imagination. Their dripping fangs gnash at you as you try to escape. And then it hits you. More history, more PE, more science, more of everything you’ve had at least three years of. How will you ever survive? Yes, it would seem appropriate that you pull the covers over your head and weep. I did too.

            Fast forward yet again. It’s the first day of class. You’ve spent hours prepping in your dorm room. You roommate even made fun of you in a not so nice manner, for hogging the sink. You have on your most impressionable outfit, combed your hair to perfection, and even had a couple mints on your walk from the dorms to the engineering building. You look sharp. You enter the classroom for remedial math. It’s roughly seven thirty, and there are only three other people in the classroom. You locate the seat in the back, and the closest to the door. You sit and feel foolish. Slowly more and more people trickle in until almost every seat is taken. But this does nothing to lighten your spirits. Then the crème de la crème, in enters your teacher. If you didn’t know better you would have thought that your old math teacher had followed you. (Except this one doesn’t smell like bacon. In fact, it’s a cross between your old math and your old English teacher.)

            She takes roll and then does the worst thing a math teacher could do for students in your position. She cheerfully tells you that after you pass Math 900 you get to go to Math 920, and after that 930 or 1000 depending on your major. You pray you only have to take through 1000. Then she passes out a paper on the “beauty” of math. About this time you would have rather eaten a whole plate of E.Coli than hear about the “beauty” of a subject that, in your mind rather resembles a horribly mutated… well, you’re not really sure what it resembled. You watch the clock begging for the class to end. But the seconds tick by, mocking you as they go. When you are finally free, you feel like a Zombie. Your brain is mush, and all you can think about it going back to your room and crying. But that’s not an option. You still have two more classes to attend. How could they be any worse?

            Fast forward, welcome to midterms. You’ve stayed up all night studying. You’ve caught up on the few assignments that seemed to have disappeared. You’ve struggled through the class, lucky to get a passing grade on the daily quizzes. What is the point? What is the point in finishing? You could save yourself and the teacher the time and effort on the exam. You know you’re going to get an F. A  D maybe if she grades nicely. Why bother? Three little words; your old job. You print off your paper for English and make sure you are armed with your smartest calculator. Only a fool would go in unprepared! You hesitantly step out of the room and walk to your class.

            You try to be optimistic. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right? Ha! Who ever said that obviously didn’t struggle in Math or English! You walk in to the classroom. Everyone seems to have the same grave look you have. They all look sick, a sea of dread adorning their once lively faces. You sit heavily and pull out your pencil and calculator and you wait. The test is placed in front of you and your brain begins to bleed. The first question is a rabid snarling mass of words contorted in a way that makes no sense what-so-ever. Everything you studied seemed to have abandoned ship when your eyes connected with the first few words. It is then that you wonder if your teacher is really a mind erasing alien bent on world domination. You somehow miraculously finish the exam.

            What was the point in all of that pain? Why suffer through it? You buy a fruity drink at the coffee shop and a chocolate doughnut. Comfort food will make you feel better. You go sit out in the court yard and think about your life. That old job working at the mall wasn’t so bad. Sure it didn’t pay well, but it was manageable. And there weren’t any stupid exams to worry about. Your eyes wonder to the few students lounging in the court yard. Why are they here? Why are you here? To pursue higher education? Your friend called the other day. He’s working in a factory and making about fifteen bucks an hour. But he has no social life. What a bummer. Perhaps studying for your exam and spending so much time on the homework wasn’t so bad. At least you get to go out and party over the weekend.

           

            Perhaps having to take the remedial Math and English is not so bad. Sure you thought you were finished with them, but everyone at the college had to take Math and English of some sort. Just because you struggle doesn’t make it any less important. Maybe they are struggling in a class that you excel in. You realize that everyone there has suffered through a trying class. Maybe their weakness was Anthropology, or Psychology. It doesn’t make you any less smart. They may hate Spanish as much as you hate English. The classes are hard, but you expected that. You went to college. You knew college was going to be a challenge. So don’t look at the remedial classes as a tribulation, but rather as a stepping stone. If you stick with these classes, maybe the other classes you have to take will be easier.

            You bunch up the wrapper from you doughnut and walk to the trashcan. You deposit it into the receptacle and adjust your backpack. It is discouraging to see a D or an F time after time. But you realize that if you keep working hard, you will get it. It will click in your brain and then you will be able to do the work. You’ll be able to go on to bigger and better things. Don’t stop just because the wall seems too high. Climb and conquer! You tell yourself. If after getting through the hard stuff doesn’t make you feel like King Kong on coke then you can quit. But don’t quit until that feeling of accomplishment sends you on that high. Everyone comes to a plateau in their lives that seems unbeatable, but if people didn’t keep trying there wouldn’t be computers, and air planes, and cell phones, and iPods. And where would you be with out your cell phone? Lost in an abyss of loneliness? Sure it sucks now, everyone thinks that at some point. But its getting through it that shows your real character. You’ll feel like quitting, you’ll feel like smashing your face into a brick wall over and over again. But it is worth it. I promise you that, because this is a true story. (At least most of it! J)

 

Reviews

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

I really like the style you wrote this in.. sort of stream of consciousness.. and the humor thrown..
The way you make it read , as we all think things will be so easy and we will have so much fun.. a new life.. then it is much like the old .. and perhaps we think the old was not so bad.. but as you said, perservere, as it is well worth it!

Chloe
xoxo

[Ruby Moon]

i totally agree with this one!!!
:'(
i am sooooo flunking in my subjects...

*continue trudging on forward in collage*

[Erotic Goddess]

OH! This was very good. I agree with Jared. Very eye catching and the tone is perfect. I KNOW I thought some of those very things. MORE math, english, accounting, economics... Overwhelming. WOW! This has brought back some wonderful memories. Thank you for sharing this!

[Jared Kardos]

First off, I dig the title--very eye-catching.

As a Senior about to go to college, it feels like this a secret document, behind the scenes of college that those advertisers never tell ya about.

Very good work.

I do have one question: Why did you have to write this for your Math 1000 class?

[Heather Rodwell]

I like this! I can totally relate. I flunked Math before I even left high school! haha!
I love the way you tellthe story. The imagery, and the thoughts. All very well compiled. Great piece!

[Tony]

I liked the story, I can relate. The only issue I have is the way you use "flash forward"...

You use: Fast forward, welcome to midterms.

Try using: Fast forward - welcome to midterms.

I think it'll get across the effect you're going for better.

Just my two cents worth.

[Brianna Brie]

Oh cruel fate, why must you mock us so?

Thanks for the sharing the entertaining woes of college life. Nice paper.

[Writer6886]

So True So True. I have that feeling every time I take a math test. But After reading this paper I feel I can go on and achieve my goal.