Eternal Senses

poetical senses.

I want to feel the sleep of time scattered on my skin. 

I want to smell the essence of my forgotten memories,
to revel in the pain of my past and the promise of my future.

I want to see words come to life in the glowing abyss of my mind, dancing, entwined with the wandering fragments of my past, swaying and flickering like the shadow of a wild and passionate flame.

I want to hear the soft echoing silence in the deep eternal crevasse between peace and chaos,
sanity and freedom.

I want to taste poetry, to eternally sink in the depths of its madness,
so that I might find eternal rest in the open safety of its honest home. 

Author's Note

Something I wrote a while ago and would love some feedback on.

Reviews

[Lydia Shutter]

Wonderful work! Poetry is a safe haven for those who truly love it....and I can see you do. Your words show a maturity far beyond your years. "I want to hear the soft echoing silence in the deep eternal crevasse between peace and chaos, sanity and freedom." Such a powerful line! I enjoyed this one. Lydi**

[Sarah Jean]

Thank you so much, I'm really glad, it brings an added indescribable joy that my words might create meaning for someone and that people might think of my words even after they've read them, so thank you again for your feedback :)

[Audrey Rey]

I think this poem really draws you in, it has such fluid rhythm and flow of images. Lovely! Someone before me mentioned that the beginning is the best, but for me it's the final stanza that does it. The antithesis is strong, but fitting. It really amplifies the way the poems strikes you when read.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i love sinking into the madness of poetry, it keeps me sane.

well said sarah jean....

excellent phrasing in this..the poem dances in my mind.

[Anand Sehgal]

I want to smell the essence of my forgotten memories,

I want to hear the soft echoing silence in the deep eternal crevasse between peace and chaos,
sanity and freedom.

Speechless :)

[Sarah Jean]

Thank you :) I'm so glad to receive your feedback.

[Shane William]

The essence of poetry itself makes a great muse. I've written a few things similar to this. It's great because in it's refection we confront ourselves. "safety of its honest home". Perfect.

[Sarah Jean]

Thank you :)

[Chris]

Sweet tones and a smooth flow when read aloud.

[Sarah Jean]

Thank you!

[Karen]

These words are so beautiful and a prayer of poets. I love the first line! And the other images in the poem are carefully selected and precise ("glowing abyss of my mind," "wandering fragments," "echoing silence"). And the last stanza is the one I can personally relate to because poetry is indeed a taste that one can savor in the mouth over and over again, or change up depending on what we write and how we express. Thank you for writing this poem and sharing it with us!

[Sarah Jean]

Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm glad you enjoyed :)

[Glen Yumang Manese]

They say if you lose one the others become more profound... I like the usage of all of them... I do feel you left out "touch" for "feel"... seems only right to put him there... and the last line only seems fitting to change a bit:

I want to taste poetry, to eternally sink in the depths of its madness,
so that I might find eternal rest in the open safety of its honest home.
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I need to taste poetry, to eternally sink in the depths of its madness,
so that I might find eternal rest in the open safety of its honest home.

The others are wants... but you need to feed and that's a separation from the rest of the verse... gives that added impact your looking for... an endless search... always expanding...

[Sarah Jean]

Hm yes, i'll think on this one. Very helpful thank you for your advice.

[SquinklaPsyOps]

Hi, it feels like the character in the poem is visualizing though smell images and adventures that come to life.

[Angi]

You can have all that and more! ...but you already know that, don't you? Poets can't help themselves. The essences and memories will always find a way into our words. Angi!

[Dr. Wood ?]

The opening line is the best....It doesn't get better than that...the poem as a whole is quite emotionally uplifting from a poets point of view...I loved this work of yours