The Trials

It will be a short story

So far as I know, waking up in the middle of nowhere is a bad thing, but since I can't remember a single thing from my past, I guess I might just calm myself down a little. 
 
Stars shone all around me, every single one flickering in the darkness of space. I was standing, but how exactly I was standing in space I don't really know. I stayed there for a few seconds thinking. Then I tried to walk, one foot after the other and then... I fell down to what seemed to be a floor. Why couldn’t I remember? Was this a dream of was it a bad joke? And how was I standing in space? All of these questions flooded my mind forming more questions but less answers, but what really grabbed my attention was that I didn’t feel cold or hot, I felt nothing…
 
I waited for a brief moment then tried to ask for help but  there was something wrong, I couldn't make my words come out, it was like wanting to talk but the words couldn’t form in your mouth, I panic, I tried and tried but couldn't manage to make the words come out. I felt scared in the darkness of space, at least the shining stars were my friends here.
 
I tried to get up again, but I fell down. A light started to shine in the distance, it outshine all the stars that were shining there, I quickly tried to get up again and this time I did managed to stand with my two feet. Great, I thought at least something good. 
 
The light started to shine more and more and more until it started to get closer and closer and closer... my eyes started to hurt so I covered them with  my hands. The light covered my body in a tunnel of light
 
That's when it started; a burst of colors formed in the tunnel of light, my body was lifted from the space and suddenly thrown into the end of the tunnel.
 
I was now in an isolated desert, rain falling down with fierce winds that made me lost balance. Dark clouds where all over the place as the rain kept falling and falling like torrents, thunder formed in the dark clouds making some visibility for my eyes, that’s when I saw a shadow with a black coat watching in my direction. It pointed at me with its right hand.
 

 Then I woke up 

Author's Note

I want to practice my story telling skills so if you have any tips or something I will be much appreciete, by the way, I hope you do notice the words that come when you turn into a sentence the color words.

Reviews

[DoormanDan]

This is a very brief, but still largely enjoyable story. You had me reading it from beginning to end. I have to say that the rate at which your story writing skills are improving is very impressive Lizardo. Fantastic job!

But I did notice a few typos. In the last paragraph, when you wrote, "With fierce winds that made me lost balance", it should be "lose", not "lost", and in the beginning of the following sentence, it should be "Dark clouds WERE", not, "dark clouds WHERE". Also, try to avoid run-on sentences, which were most noticeable in the last paragraph(the second to last sentence is just one huge run-on). Other than those, you've done great Lizardo. Keep working on improving, and one day you'll be one heck of an awesome writer! :)

[Lizardo]

Thanks Dan! I really appreciete it :) by the way I'm sorry I haven't review your awesome writing too, but since I'm on vacation, I'll get to them soon :)
By the way, sorry for my ignorance but, what are Run-on sentences?

[DoormanDan]

It's quite alright(and you are welcome!) I hope you are enjoying your vacation! A run-on sentence is basically a sentence that is multiple sentences thrown into one gigantic, clumsy sentence. An example of a run-on sentence in your story here would be, "Dark clouds where all over the place as the rain kept falling and falling like torrents, thunder formed in the dark clouds making some visibility for my eyes, that’s when I saw a shadow with a black coat watching in my direction". In this, you should end one sentence after "like torrents", and make everything from "thunder" to "direction" a separate sentence. Does that help at all? Sorry if it doesn't, I've never been the best at explaining things. If you are still having a hard time understanding it, ask your English teacher at school, and she'll explain. :)

[Lizardo]

No no, I understand you :) I remembered in the books that I read that it is true that there arent sentences like that. Thanks dan :)
By the way, if you're doing nothing, I recomend you should read a book called Steelheart, the reckonners book 1 by Brandon sanderson, its about this people that gained power through a comet named calamity, this people are called epics and the reckonners are a little rebel group trying to take them down. Its a really good book and the second on too!

[DoormanDan]

Alright, I'll check it out the next chance I get! It does sound interesting. By the way, have you been able to check out the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy yet? :)

[Lizardo]

I downloaded to my book. Dude, Its freaking awesome! I'm really enjoying it

[DoormanDan]

Haha, I had a feeling you'd like it! There are six books in the series in total(I know I said five before, but I didn't realize that there's a six one called "And Another Thing" written by Eoin Colfer) :)

[Lizardo]

Eoin colfer, that author is really good. I've read a series called: Artemis fowl. Boy, I did enjoyed reading that series, have you read it?

[DoormanDan]

Heck yeah I have! Those books are great! :)

[Lizardo]

lets see what else, ever head of James Dashner or Rick Riordan?

[Melinda McQueen]

Good story. There were a few typos but all in all, nice imagery.
Thanks for sharing..

[Lizardo]

Thank you so much Melinda, for visiting, I really appreciete it

[Cool Girl]

Sorry, I'm like so out of it... I don't even think I'm fully alive today xD

I went to bed at 4:00 and woke up at 5:30! Well, that's actually kind of normal for me..

But anyway, this was really good! We all know that I absolutely STINK at writing stories, but I can tell when someone's got talent!

The last line is my favorite because it's short yet full of emotion! It's like NOOO it was a dream? xD

I really really liked it! It was so cool :) I'll ttyl though because I gtg to school!

[Lizardo]

Its fine, thanks CG!

[Cool Girl]

You're welcome!

[Not here]

hey lizardo, ive written some stories so ill give you some tips.
first, to edit it and see if it sounds how you want it to, you can read it aloud to yourself because you will be able to tell how it flows and notice any spelling mistakes.
secondly, I didn't really understand the colored words. I'm sure there is a great reason for it, and I really want to here it or like what they represent because I love things like that in a story.
thirdly, when you described, i was just wondering how do you know it has a coat and how do you know which hand it was pointing? you did an amazing job and describing the scenery and the imagery in your story was outstanding. when you are describing something like a shadow, it may be better to leave it more vague and give the reader some imagination.
I love the cliffhanger, I love the imagery and descriptions, and I love how everything is kind of like how I would describe a dream. Great job and please read request the next piece in the story. Sorry for the length of my review, but awesome work man!

[Lizardo]

David! Thanks for the tips, reading out loud eh? I will try that
The words supposly need to form: "Nothing I do starts light" Which for me means that nothing you start with starts at the top, you start from the bottom and all of that. Don't worry, I actually like long reviews xD Thanks david! hope everything is going well too friend

[Not here]

ok that makes alot of sense now. yeah i really like that, what you did with the letters colored. really cool dude. and you are a really great writer so keep writing!