Tundra

Day and Night

Every night

I go to sleept

And maybe

Wonder about

The sun

I never go out

Of the tundra

While I walk

Every night

I hear the wind

Carry a chourus of songs

I have nobody with me

I'm alone now

No one to care about me

But my only friend is the moon

it's shine brings me joy to my heart

My heart, is as har as steel

And night here

Seems like daylight to me

So much time in darkness

I have become happy with it

When I wake up in the morning

I talk to the stars

In this tundra

I see myself

Reflections above the cold sea

I remember when I was young

And saw the world with colors

now all I see is black and white

The snow has turned my heart cold

There's no heat here

So I'm alone

A lonely walking soul

Love turned me down

and destiny broke my heart

When I remember you

You died long ago

My love

How I miss you

Now I'm cold without you

I'll see my reflections

And see my memories

Everything in my body is as hard as Ice

Just stay by me

I don't see you

But stay with me...

Author's Note

I have my doubts on this one

Reviews

[Moonlight]

I agree with jacob erin-cilberto on the revision part...
However, i really loved the effort behind this piece. It speaks of sadness and it makes you feel sad. The loneliness and grief of those left behind is incomparable....
The last lines:

Everything in my body is as hard as Ice
Just stay by me
I don't see you
But stay with me...

They really increased the sadness factor by quite a notch. Beautifully described how the world has become so colorless and monotonous..... "now all I see is black and white" ..

Great Job! :)

[Lizardo]

Thank you so much, I really appreciete it :)

[Moonlight]

You're welcome :)

[Cool Girl]

I like it! It makes me sad... well, only because it is sad:) Nice job!

[Lizardo]

I thought about it, wanted it to be kind of sad thank you a lot :)

[Cool Girl]

Welcome! :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

might need a little work to keep consistent theme...there is real sadness attached to this....we can feel the loneliness and how night and darkness becomes a friend---but even so, the darkness is when he misses her most. maybe working the thread a little more consistently throughout the poem would be worth looking into...but there is a good poem here with some revision i think.
jacob

[Lizardo]

Thank you Jacob, I really had my doubts on this one I'll check it and see what I can do, Thank you a lot