Something

While I'm frozen

While I wondered

I've seen this, before

I'm on my knees praying every night

Hoping that God will hear my pleading heart

In the ocean

Where the thoughts Drown

The tides knoch them out

And I'm still waiting for you

On this Arctic wonderdalnd

To hear your voice

Melt this ice

I'm on my bed thinking every day and night

Wondering about if anything is real

When I wake up again

How is the world going to be?

My heart burns

A burning fire is telling me to keep me going

But my brain has different plans

When the sun shines

When the moon shines

Day and Night

Are friends

While I'm frozen in the arctic ocean

Waiting for someone to summon me

I'm still thinking

About her beautiful voice

That melts my heart

Fake and Hope are the angels

That keep you going

Not letting you fall again

Because Fear wakes you up from the nightmare and ream

When you wake up

Hope is by your side

I'm on my bed every night pleading

To God with all my heart

Hoping that he's going to answer me

And the storm will someday

Be like a distant memory

In my heart

Reviews

[NeiL ArandA]

I see the association you used of artic ice. The heart is sometimes like that when it experienced a painful event. The muse is choosing to repressed those feelings to protect itself or perhaps to find a way to cope with it. There's a storm not only in the land or ocean but also in the arctic . And these blizzard can really freeze you in an instant if exposed too long. I noticed that God has been showing in some if not most of your writings. A sign perhaps that the muse or persona understood that those void and hurt. God is the only One who can make it come to past...and He will hear those pleading be it like those millions of blades of grass in the field. He knows which is your heart and He can single it out.

[Lizardo]

God knows everthing... thank you so much!

[Vishuddha]

This piece has some nice ideas but could be more cohesive. I was disappointed "But my brain has different plans" did not take us somewhere. The next to last stanza is weak - good idea but could be better written. The storm in the last stanza doesn't seem to come from the same place as the frozen arctic portrayed earlier. Definitely worth a rewrite. (and get rid of all the typos and auto corrects!)

[Lizardo]

Alright I will, Thank you so much

[luvs2write]

Great work. This was a beautiful poem. The longer poems tend to ramble on and on and bore me, but you did a good job with this one. It kept my attention all the way through. You have a few typos, but other than that this is a pretty near perfect piece. =) Keep writing!!

[Lizardo]

Thank you!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i read that line as "faith and hope"
thoughtful piece, yes, needs some editing...but really speaks from the heart of the matter and that is that love matters, and love of self matters and getting up again matters.

[Lizardo]

Okay I will fix it, Thank you Jacob

[Cool Girl]

This is wonderful! I'd say it's my favorite, but all your poems are my favorites! This was well written:)

[Lizardo]

Thank you so much! jajajaja xD Really thank you :)

[Cool Girl]

You are very welcome! Im proud to call you my friend:)

[Rene Salinas]

The intimate and private aspect in this writing is not only respectful but also subtle. It comes to me as a plea, as if it had a religious connotation similar to a prayer then. Mighty quesions though you ask. As you share your relations to the objects of nature and then seemingly to your inner nature. This line lost me :"Fake and Hope are the angels" But even it was Fate it will still confuse me. I read it a few times, something made me stop there. But I continued hapilly, the devotion and humbleness of the tone are very human. On a technicality and I seem to suffer abrupt responses when I even mention things like this, wouldn't you want to help the reader and the musicality of the writing by adding punctuation? It will also made you discover that the "narrative" might make you change the formatting due to punctuation. Just a thought I would leave it there for you to have something to think about.

Very beautiful feeling.

Thank You.

[Lizardo]

Thank you and about your question yeah I would want to helpt people.
Thank you so much !