Light Leaves, Dark Sees

He walked in pathway were it was

All green with many trees and animals

The sun was up high with all its might

It seemed as everywhere were he was walking 

Everywhere was nice and the animals were nice with him

Until he changed

'Cause he saw that everything he did was nice

He started to become greedy and selfish

He didn't care about anything else other than

The Beautiful pathway were he was walking

Until something changed about the pathway

He started to walk in a place that with every step that you took

You could feel the sorrow, Sadness, and lonelyness 

The sky Wasn't Blue with sun now

Now it darkness everywhere

You couldn't watch your step nor you could see the trees

It felt like walking blind

The Sound of the Animals changed

They seemed more dangerous now

He started to walk in every direction

But he couldn't see Light

''I'm Sorry I became a huge mistake!'' he said

''I've should of never changed!'' 

At that moment

The light returned and he could once again see clearly the beautiful sky

He saw an old men sitting in a chair at the end of the pathway

''You see now?' the old men said

''The great men are the ones who never change in their pathway''

''They can have all of the wonders in the world''

''But  their style is what matters'' 

''The Honest men are perseverant and Honest''

''They never have never watch what you saw there''

Reviews

[Cool Girl]

Wow! This is deep... I love it!

[Lizardo]

Thank you so much!

[Cool Girl]

You are very welcome:)

[Brian M. Peeples]

Question, is there just one man, or more than one man there? because you use "an old men" which is grammatically incorrect. And in a few specific areas at the beginning, you used "were" instead of "where." Overall, I really enjoyed this. You definitely have a talent in telling a story, even from a poem as this one. I really liked reading this. Keep it up!

[Lizardo]

Its Where? Damn it I knew it! I just wasn't sure! thank you and there are two men, the one who is walkin the path and the old one who he meets at the end

[Brian M. Peeples]

Oh, okay, so it should be "an old man" then, at the end. "man" is singular while "men" is plural, stating there's two more. That's why I was confused.

[Lizardo]

Oh I never thought about that, Thank you so much

[Laura Lynn]

you have strength of spirit, you know that you have seen what you have seen and believed in it and it having ventured out, it is a dream to be able to go the world with you, but the way you have gone was your way and the way, the path the other men went is their way, what ways, we need to have fairness and generosity but always it is not how we are in spirit, sometimes we have needs for something, and we aren't even sure how much is enough, for me for instance, I wonder how much writing is enough, how much time should I devote without learning new things, I do too much easy boring habitual action, not changing it up to the extent I could, it's a fear, but a stupid silly one, for instance, I could be watching the tv with my son right now, I am in the same room...maybe I will try writing a poem based on the cartoon,

[Lizardo]

Thank you so much

[Jimmy Yetts]

An important lesson nicely taught.
Fine work, Lizardo!

[Lizardo]

Thank you Frankie, Really, Thank you !

[Sami Khalil]

The introduction and dialogue were amazing.

"Until something changed about the pathway
He started to walk in a place that with every step that you took
You could feel the sorrow, Sadness, and loneliness"

Bravo...............

[Lizardo]

Thank you so much! seriously thank you :)

[Sami Khalil]

My pleasure. Any time...:).....................