Broken

I can't help but cry,
I've been told so many lies.
Time after time, fight after fight.
Without a doubt I still hold you tight,
I try to shed light on us,
You question "us?"
Most would cuss in rage, and finally turn the page.
I couldn't even put up a fuss, and that look you staged feels like you have my heart locked up in a cage.
I'll give you the world and even more,
And you'll without a doubt use me for even more.
Even though I am poor, I give you what I can.
& You just treat me like another fan.
That tan skin, those perfect lips
How could I ever fit?
I knew it was all a trick,
Time would only tell until I fell off like everyone else.
Now here I am,
months later still writing poems about you,
Sometimes I think "maybe she misses me too."
That is just a fools thought, being naive at its best.
Everything was just a test, I made sure I was always at my best for you.
I wanted us to last, we moved so fast, and now you're left behind for forever in my past.
Every tear I've shed for you, withheld so much inner fear for you.
Even though you said so many hurtful things last time we spoke, I would be more than fine with spending more time with you.
Time and time again this happens,
I don't know why I allow women to walk all over me,
To talk over me,
To walk away without shame in the games that they've played.
I guess I'm just a wreck, it can't just be lust.
But one thing is most certain, I'm not ready to close the curtain on you.
It is because of you that I now lack trust even more than before,
I feel like I can't even reach out to people anymore.
For so long I was just your w***e, you tore my heart out and spit it out on the floor.
One day I will get to the core of this, but for now I'll just put my fists up and fight my feelings away until they reach the floor.