To My Love

Is it really hard to let go? A message to a first love. Words I wish I can tell you.

To My Love,

 

You casually walked in to my life that at first I thought you were just going to be another random person for me, an acquaintance passing by. Who would have thought that you were going to be the guy to touch my heart for the first time?

 

From the moment I realized that I love you, I learned how to wish upon the stars. There was never a day that I didn't think of you. There was never a night before I went to sleep that I didn't pray to Him, asking Him to give 'us' a chance. I came to a point when I cried almost every night, while begging Him, "God, I want it to be him. Because if it's not him, I'd rather not have someone." Pathetic, I know, but what I really would and wouldn't give for my love for you.

 

There were signs pointing that we could be together, that you really are The One. Everything seemed to be in the right place; it gave me hope. Honey, it made me believe I am ready for love. And, I am. Only, I realized that the situation still isn't, you still aren't.

 

I asked myself, "Am I willing to wait for you until you're ready?" And an honest answer is, "I don't know." Because I don't know how long it will take you to be ready. I don't know what will happen while I am waiting for you. I don't even know if I really have something to wait for, if you really are the one I am waiting for.

 

In the end, I thought I have to step back.

 

Honey, it's not easy for me to let go, especially that I am uncertain if this letting go means 'only for a while' or 'for forever.' It doesn't mean that my love for you has changed. I still love you as much as I did you the very first time. Maybe, even more. And I don't ever regret falling in-love with you; I never will. Because, honey, you deserve my love. I may not have the guts to tell you this, but you are one of the best things that ever happened in my life -- corny though it may sound.

 

When the time comes that the whole world is ready, that you are ready, and if by then I still haven't found a new love, I hope you find me. And I hope by then, Fate will finally allow us to be together.

 

But if you figure out it isn't me, or if I find someone to love more than I loved you, then maybe we are just not meant to be. And it's okay. You may not be The One, but I'll forever cherish the fact that you are My First Love. And my heart wasn't wrong in choosing you.

 

Neither of us knows what the future will bring us. Maybe I will find the one who will help me to get over you. Maybe I will find someone who will show me that it's worth it walking away from you. Or maybe I will not be able to move on at all. Maybe the next time I fall in-love, it is still you. Who knows?

 

I love you.

 

I love you.

 

I love you.

 

I love you.

 

I love you.

 

But for now, honey, can I just ask you to smile for me, and...

 

GOODBYE.