break routine

from my DA description: "CRITIQUE ME!!!! Hit me hard. I can take it. But also tell me what I did well because I secretly crave the affirmation and need it more than I care to admit."

Routine has become too comfortable for comfort.
My feet wear the same tracks into the dirt,
kicking up the same dust every day
but the worst part is that the dust cloud blinds me to other, newer paths.
Break routine.
The most appealing option is to run
n'importe ou-
I won't,
c'est l'option la plus dangereuse,
but that's its allure.
Break routine.
My whole being screams for something different,
something borderline uncomfortable,
like the feeling of too much space I get from places with no trees,
but I limit myself.
My brain won't stretch to envelop the possibilities
that float just out of its reach
like it used to.
I'd like to blame it on public school, and I somewhat can, I think-
but in the end, I have control over what I do with my brain
and I didn't stretch it.
I am a brain neglecter,
a fear collector,
a cage erector
who locks herself in
then complains about her captivity.
I used to think I was special,
that right now didn't matter,
that ONE DAY I'd be something, do something special enough
to stand among the, personally deemed, elite
for having said something new
thought something new
done something new
Break routine.
But I won't.
This was my test,
and I've failed.
My self-imposed bars have proven stronger than my own will,
and today-me doesn't care about one-day-me
because no matter what one-day-me does,
today-me is still locked up,
will always be locked up,
and will never
break routine
break routine
break routine
break routine