tessellate

tessellate is one of my favorite words and has been ever since I heard the song "Tessellate" by Tokyo Police Club. This is a stream of consciousness I wrote a while back. :)

I turn a mirror to my life
There are so many carefully self-inflicted cracks
can it ever tessellate?

The life I live in my imagination-
   true to myself,
   true to my dreams,
   clean of the influence of the opinions of people I know-
and the life I physically manifest-
   a puppet,
   a carefully crafted, friendly, self-deprecating puppet
   that I hold up to people's needs
   (while my arms grow weaker and weaker
   and the person behind the puppet
   who wouldn't, alone, meet any needs at all
   fades)-
are growing further and further apart.
The more life force I invest in the puppet
the more life force leaves me.

That's the opposite reaction,
what about the equal?

The more life force I invest in the puppet,
the more life force I hoard in my daydreams of the future
in my goals and aspirations,
and the blacker my blackest lump of fear becomes
of never leaving the charade,
of never burning the puppet,
of dying
and of all my daydreams, my lovingly hoarded life force
disintegrating into wisps of unfeelable regret.

Author's Note

what do you think?

Reviews

[Jeremy Wyatt]

Aye, any poem that gets Tessellate in is a good 'un........a stream of consciousness indeed